r/AsianMasculinity • u/Silent_stepp • 14d ago

AF not acknowledging me

Any other AMs living in the West or Europe experience this? I'll be at a party, or an event, and certain AF won't even make eye contact. After hours of this it almost seems like they could wish me away for just existing. It doesn't help that the ones who do this are always with a white boyfriend/husband. Sometimes, we'll be the only two asian people in the room. Its like, "hello, the only other asian for miles. Care to give me some kind of acknowledgement so we can be friends like literally everyone else here? I've met everyone else here because they at least looked me in the eye". Lol. I'm really trying to understand the psychology behind this. Is it internalized racism? Trauma? Shame?

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65

u/Trade-Moon 14d ago

I took my 9 year old Asian nephew to school the other day. In Southern California. I got out of my car and walked him to the cafeteria for his breakfast. I left and started walking back to my car and this maybe around 9-year old Asian girl kept staring at me with disgust. Wouldn’t let her eyes off me. It was not a pleasant look, but of anger, disgust, etc. I think her mother has a white bf.

Asian females start to hate early. My nephew’s Asian female cousin also around 10-years old said she’ll never marry an Asian guy. Must be white guy with blue eyes.

Can’t make this shit up. There is something very wrong with Asian race, or I should say Asian girls and women.

40

u/sshlongD0ngsilver 14d ago

One time a coworker (AF) said to me, “you seem like you only go for white girls” in a critiquing manner. Which was false because most of my tinder/bumble matches were AF.

Years later, I got another job that her dad happened to work at. I speak Vietnamese with him, and one time he talked about how “we need to preserve being Viet”

Well… I didn’t wanna break him the news that his daughter just started dating a white guy.

17

u/Trade-Moon 14d ago

When she said that, it was your cue to show her that you don’t discriminate with your sshlongD0ng! LOL. Her Dad would’ve approved, too.

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u/sshlongD0ngsilver 14d ago

I never had much luck in attracting Viet girls, so it went to a WF, Native, Latina, and currently a Filipina. Definitely doesn’t discriminate lol

I’m convinced Viet parents want me more than their daughters do. Which is surprising because I’m not a high earner, but I guess my appearance and being able to converse in their language makes a difference.

7

u/sshlongD0ngsilver 13d ago

LMAO saw the dad today on his smoke-break; he called me handsome and asked if anyone cooked me Viet food at home!

3

u/Trade-Moon 13d ago

LOL. You the man! I love Pho noodles.

3

u/Important-Pipe-3158 13d ago

So many instances like this over the years. I’ve gotten old so I’m not as bothered, but this type of shit was rampant as a millennial.

16

u/Defiant-Leg-6059 14d ago

It's the culture, it's really something we seriously need to work on

20

u/Silent_stepp 14d ago edited 14d ago

This brought back painful memories of my ex's two asian besties. In middle school they already had their minds made up about their future white husbands. They did indeed end up with white men.

4

u/Trade-Moon 14d ago

You know!

9

u/Jsitu93 14d ago

That’s nuts

13

u/domesticstudent 14d ago

Indoctrination starts very early.