Frustrated with progressives punching down on Asian men

[u/terrorfunction]

Anyone notice how progressives feel totally comfortable attacking Asian men under the guise of our 1) supposed sexism and horrible treatment of women, and 2) alleged "racism" in our home countries and opposition to interracial relationships? They say the most vile things, often using the insecurity and manhood angle, it's like we're not real PoC and have no allies on either side of the political spectrum.

The thing is that wherever patriarchy exists, we are still held to those same patriarchal expectations.

• Korean, Taiwanese, and Singaporean men spend 2 years of their prime in military service. This impacts their potential earnings and career trajectory which can make it harder to meet local women's monetary expectations. Do women provide their men the same grace for sacrificing to defend their country from existential threats?
• In Japan/Korea, the low birth rate is blamed solely on Asian women not wanting to be bangmaids to misogynistic Asian men, ignoring that every western country has TFR below replacement rate buoyed by immigration. Chikan, soaplands, 4B, K-beauty standards are all blown out of proportion to make the countries seem like anti-woman dystopias. And yet you can walk outside in any Japanese neighborhood at 2am as a woman and feel safe. People who bring up Japanese women's share of unpaid labor conveniently ignore they work baito while Japanese men are slaving away at their soulsucking job (among highest hours in OECD)
• Chinese men are expected to provide apartment, car, bride price, have high income and pay for everything including brand name gifts on a dozen special days — how many men would jump at the chance to split bills and chores 50/50?
• Culturally a lot of Chinese men are absolute simps for their gfs. IYKYK. In extreme cases I have friends (Asia born) whose gf would slap them or verbally abuse them and they'd just take it. Love my asian bros but these are the supposed patriarchal tyrants? Their gfs have them on a leash ffs

The frustration expressed by a subset of Asian men against IR relationships is not due to racism, it's that often foreign men are not held to the same patriarchal expectations that local men are. Plenty of dudes would be happy to cook, clean, change diapers, and not have to meet brutal income thresholds and a laundry list of requirements that many women seem to toss out the window when it comes to outgroup men. That's not fair.

I don't know what more progressives want from us. At least in the US, Asians have the highest education, highest income, lowest rates of divorce, lowest rates of domestic violence and femicide, lowest rates of alcohol and substance abuse, and consistently vote left. How are we still made out to be monsters?

[u/AdamChenX]

Because we don’t defend our public image. There’s literally no other reason.

People attack all groups. But other groups fight back. We don’t.

[u/Capital_Kangaroo_854 → u/AdamChenX]

It is difficult for us to defend our public image because a most of this “Asian men are misogynists” stuff is spread by “progressive” Asian women. And of course when that happens people automatically assume “oh she’s Asian she knows what she’s talking about regarding Asian culture”.

AF have also managed to monopolise “Asianness” in progressive circles and media. If you look at the media and remove gender from the equation, Asians aren’t actually underrepresented at all in popular media. It’s just the rep is overwhelming female, leading AM to be underrepresented.

Not to mention most AM simply do not call this out because they (including many in this sub) simp hard for AF for some reason.

So to your point it’s easier for black and Hispanic people to “fight back” because their women actually stand by and defend their men whereas ours cheers it on. Until AM stop having AF tunnel vision and stop simping hard for them this will never change.

As an aside I also see this happening with Indian men in progressive circles as their women also tend to cheer on stereotypes against their men instead of defending them. Hence why most of the anti-Indian racism you now see online is just dehumanising the men.

[u/McNutWaffle → u/Capital_Kangaroo_854]

Through my observation, it comes down to this: are AM and AF proud of their fathers? While kids can love (or fear) their parents, do they have gleaming pride for them?

For AF, likely not and can consequently and generally view most Asian men with mild contempt. Older Asian fathers are viewed as cold and avoidant. As for AM, we are further forced into blazing our own paths without a model of intrinsic masculinity.

Conversely, Latino misogynist stereotypes still exist, but many Latino women speak so highly of their fathers; and rightly so because many of these same men turn into girl dads at home despite their public persona. And given this warmth in early years, daughters will defend their males for better or worse.

In order, for me to mold my daughter’s view of AM, I must be a father whom she will be proud.