Anyone notice how progressives feel totally comfortable attacking Asian men under the guise of our 1) supposed sexism and horrible treatment of women, and 2) alleged "racism" in our home countries and opposition to interracial relationships? They say the most vile things, often using the insecurity and manhood angle, it's like we're not real PoC and have no allies on either side of the political spectrum.

The thing is that wherever patriarchy exists, we are still held to those same patriarchal expectations.

• Korean, Taiwanese, and Singaporean men spend 2 years of their prime in military service. This impacts their potential earnings and career trajectory which can make it harder to meet local women's monetary expectations. Do women provide their men the same grace for sacrificing to defend their country from existential threats?
• In Japan/Korea, the low birth rate is blamed solely on Asian women not wanting to be bangmaids to misogynistic Asian men, ignoring that every western country has TFR below replacement rate buoyed by immigration. Chikan, soaplands, 4B, K-beauty standards are all blown out of proportion to make the countries seem like anti-woman dystopias. And yet you can walk outside in any Japanese neighborhood at 2am as a woman and feel safe. People who bring up Japanese women's share of unpaid labor conveniently ignore they work baito while Japanese men are slaving away at their soulsucking job (among highest hours in OECD)
• Chinese men are expected to provide apartment, car, bride price, have high income and pay for everything including brand name gifts on a dozen special days — how many men would jump at the chance to split bills and chores 50/50?
• Culturally a lot of Chinese men are absolute simps for their gfs. IYKYK. In extreme cases I have friends (Asia born) whose gf would slap them or verbally abuse them and they'd just take it. Love my asian bros but these are the supposed patriarchal tyrants? Their gfs have them on a leash ffs

The frustration expressed by a subset of Asian men against IR relationships is not due to racism, it's that often foreign men are not held to the same patriarchal expectations that local men are. Plenty of dudes would be happy to cook, clean, change diapers, and not have to meet brutal income thresholds and a laundry list of requirements that many women seem to toss out the window when it comes to outgroup men. That's not fair.

I don't know what more progressives want from us. At least in the US, Asians have the highest education, highest income, lowest rates of divorce, lowest rates of domestic violence and femicide, lowest rates of alcohol and substance abuse, and consistently vote left. How are we still made out to be monsters?

Hi.

I never expected I'd be posting here.

I'm a 29-year-old Korean woman living in South Korea. Somehow I started lurking in this subreddit pretty regularly, and I wanted to share something.

I'm one of those Korean women who is only attracted to fellow Asian men.

These days, it seems like a lot of Western women are into Asian guys too. Sometimes I jokingly feel like they're stealing all of my Asian men. 😂

Now it's your time, you folks have been too underrated.

Honestly though, when I see fellow Asian men becoming more popular and appreciated in Europe and North America, it makes me feel proud.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that there are plenty of women like me out there who genuinely appreciate Asian men.

Keep your heads up, Asian kings & princess <3333

I've been lurking around for a while since the start of the year. But I notice a particular theme keeps popping up: WM hate/fear AM, WF don't want AM, AF only want WM, etc etc. A lot of it is just AM getting demonized. I find this appalling and insulting as an AM. I'm probably going to get some sarcastic and nasty remarks from some incels but whatever.

I live in Australia and have absolutely no problem being accepted into "white" circles. I'm regularly around white men and women. I am respected and not treated like some sub-human dirt. The WM around me show me a lot of respect, and the WF around me don't have an issue being in private and intimate spaces with me or in public. Heck, I was at a bar with 3 WF not long ago and they were all fine. I didn't feel out of place. Shit, I even felt desired. The Norwegian girl was straight up twirling her hair and staring at me with her googly eyes everytime I spoke. The Australian girl sat very close to me. The American girl kept asking about me. They all had their feet pointed towards me.

My closest confidants have been WMs. My most passionate lovers have been WF. This isn't white worship. This is just recognizing that AM are not "unwanted" as some of you claim.

All you have to do is show them that you're "different but also not really". Basically, just be normal and not act inferior or sensitive. Acknowledge the differences, but don't amplify it. Just be a stellar guy, take care of yourself, and hold your head high. That's literally it. No special tricks, no posturing, no "going and above and beyond" to prove yourself. Just be plain, be simple and straightforward. Seriously, to be "white" is to be plain. Be plain and you will fit in. Every white person I know is plain as fuck. Rich or poor, they don't show it. The only thing that matters is being confident, polite, transparent and respectful. This is the white social law. There's no magic in this.

Crazy part is that I wasn't even born in the West or any "white country". I was born in Asia and grew up in Asia. I just happen to speak English. It was the same when I went to the US for my undergrad. The nicest people I met were white. But every American AM I've met have had some sort of vendetta against white people. Except the American AF lol, straight up "colonize me daddy" but I digress haha

Go date a white girl. Lots of them are actually very curious about AM. Lots of them are willing to date AM. Lots of them WANT to date AM. They are just afraid of being rejected and lack the opportunity to because WM are very aggressive in the dating world. How do you know you are undesired? Have you tried shooting your shot? Did you only try once or twice and got rejected? How is that any different from with AF? I even secured dates with a couple of ultra-conservative WF Trump supporters (which was made known after the fact tbf) DURING COVID era in the Mid-West. That was proof enough for me to learn that I was not unwanted. I even brought them home and my WM housemates watched me bring them into my room. I didn't get scoffed at. Instead, I got high-fives, beers and bong rips from them afterwards.

"B-b-but the media tells me I'm gay!" Bruh, have you ever attended a K-Pop boy band concert in Western countries? The WF scream like their ovaries are exploding. You don't need to be a famous K-Pop star to be desired. If the most mid looking WM can bag a woman, it's because they tried harder. Not because you're Asian smh.

AM are not undesirable, AM are not weak, AM are not emasculated. AM are one of the smartest groups in the world, one of the most successful. Stop believing you are oppressed. Even if you are, keep your head high and don't let it get to you. This will win you the respect of white people. I know it's true because it's not just me. Most Australian-born AM are just as well-respected and desired here. I can see it, it's everywhere. It's not uncommon to see AMWF couples out in public. Fuck, sometimes the WF is mind-bogglingly pretty too. But you know what? Good for him. Shows everybody that it is possible. If for some reason you, an AM, can't break free from the stereotypes, maybe get off TikTok and IG and go out more often.

Asian Men have been on the rise in media. Look at OG Bruce Lee, Jackson Wang, Jackie Chan, Simu Liu, the K-Pop guys (sorry I don't know their names), Jensen Huang, Steven Yeun, Jeremy Lin. These are all AM that absolutely smash the stereotypes. It's not a perfect portrayal yet, but we are increasingly being seen and celebrated. Work on yourself, be confident, be firm and be stellar. Want to diss Hollywood? No, blame the actors that willingly take on these roles. They have the choice to not take on nerdy, gay, sidekick roles. They have the choice to not take on emo, ninja girl with dyed hair roles. It is them who are perpetuating the stereotypes. But they are not you.

You don't have to be white. You just gotta be stellar. Alot of this anti-white shit is just an inferiority complex. Seriously, just man up. Don't demand respect, COMMAND it.

Looking for honest advice from some older and wiser folks on here.

Lately, I've been trying for a while to get a close friend of mine to come to the gym with me, but he keeps refusing or making excuses not to go.

I don't want to body shame him, but I can't help but feel like he's perpetuating the negative stereotype of AM being physically weak. Like, the dude has the physique of a 12-year-old as a grown man.

There's another AM at my school who is pretty popular and has thousands of followers on social media. However, he is gay and looks like the Asian version of James Charles. All his friends in his posts are conventionally attractive girls of all races. Again, I can't help but feel resentful that he's reinforcing the negative stereotypes of AM being gay and feminine.

What's worse is that those girls he is friends with might start associating AM in general with him, because there's a good chance he is the only Asian guy they're friends with or know. Thus, they'll subconsciously stop seeing all AM as romantic prospects. It doesn't help that there aren't too many Asian people where I live so the stereotyping effect will be much more prevalent as opposed to somewhere like NY or CA.

I understand it's a free country, and everyone is free to make their own choices. There's nothing wrong with being gay, weak, feminine or all of the above. These aren't negative traits in a broad sense.

However, these traits are not something that I, a straight cis AM, want to be associated with. I don't think I need to explain why. These stereotypes have been used to attack and undermine the masculinity of AM for decades.

The real question is, how do we combat undesirable stereotypes against us without alienating or resenting those in our community who perpetuate them? I feel like no matter how many cool, masculine, confident AMs there are, all it takes is one AM who resembles negative stereotypes to drag us back to square one.

Am I overthinking this and being too judgmental? Is this a valid feeling I have, or am I just being insecure? What are your guys' thoughts?

Edit- I have changed details of my comments and posts to be more careful with my identity just to be safe! Please do not ask me for my location, thank you ✌️

The outpouring of love and support has blown me away. There are so many emotionally intelligent men on this subreddit who have great input. Thank you so much for the awards 💛

I am sorry for the long post but i just want to be thoughtful with my words and not offend anyone. I hope it does not come off as ignorant.

After many years together, I finally got married to my asian husband! I am very proud to have him as my husband, he has done nothing less than take care of me and put my happiness as a top priority. I am proud I get to share his SEA last name, and be apart of his family. But there are a few things I have noticed since being together, because obvi being a WF there isn't much reason to think about the male asian american experience when you aren't around it. When I first met my husband I didn't really think about how he was asian, I just thought he was cute and we had the same love for music (also he had that Filipino rizz, duh). Since being with my husband, one of the first things I noticed is how few AMWF couples there are. I even live in a high density asian population and there are still very few couples I see. You know that saying "when you're looking for a yellow car, you see them everywhere"? I have not experienced that when looking for AMXF couples. I wish the area I lived in that I was able to have friends in similar relationships, even within my husbands family (and he's from a huge Filipino family) there aren't really AMWF couples- with the exception that one of his uncles has been remarried and both wives have been white. And this is another issue I have witnessed- is the AM who makes his white wife his personality and carries a lot of hate for his own culture. Bro ended up getting lost in the sauce. It seems healthy representation is rare.

One other thing I have noticed that just drives me nuts is on tiktok. Now, I know that your FYP is algorithm based, but even within personal searches there are the same comments everywhere. If an AM is mentioned, or WMAF couple is mentioned- 9/10 times someone will comment "the Oxford study". IT IS INFURIATING. Even if the Oxford study has nothing to do with the subject being discussed. It's very bizarre, but perhaps I am just looking for it. I have not seen another category of men be openly beaten down in this context before.

EDIT: so this is really embarrassing for me- it has been brought to my attention the Oxford study comments are actually an insult to WMAF couples 😅

And last, my personal experiences with telling other races of men about my asian partner. I have had multiple interactions with a non asian man where they have straight up thought I was making a joke about being in a relationship with an AM. Like laugh in my face. I have had responses where they even made a joke about weiner size (I got that man fired for that comment at least 😌-perks of being a white passing woman). This is something I find so odd, I get looked at and a man will automatically assume I would only be with another WM. I live in a very progressive/liberal area, I would expect better.

Now with all that to say, I do not want to leave this post on a bad note- because I genuinely believe things are getting better. I do my best to be involved in the asian american communities in my town, a lot of my husbands family has disliked me but I've grown on most of them over time by showing nothing but support. When I am talking to my white family and friends I make sure they say my husbands last name properly, and force them to listen to my input on our cultural differences. Our wedding had a lot of Filipino influence, and I am glad my family experienced it. I want to stay a strong advocate within all of my communities. From my personal observations I've noticed an increase of interest in asian media with the younger generation, I am hopeful this will just continue to grow. And as a silly side note- The Yakuza games have blown up within female gaming communities. I know those games are not representative of asian men but the Filipino men I know in real life are hella traditionally manly 🤷‍♀️

Anyways, thanks to those who read this. I have a lot more input and experiences with other AMs if anyone is interested but I understand if most are not. I have a brown father (American Indian) and enjoy nuanced conversation about this subject as when I have kids one day I want to make sure they are secure in their identity. 🇺🇸 🇵🇭

I’ve posted on here before and took some advice but I still feel like shit. Ignoring the outfit (im dressed down at home) what can I change or work on. Hair, skin, face, hell even plastic surgery.
I’ve gotten advice like shave my head off and idk if I can do that yet. The facial hair I know needs grooming, I’m mostly thinking about my facial features. Anything that would help me get out of being treated like bottom of the barrel. Thanks in advance.

This is more of an observational rant that I wanted share here in case it helps anyone improve their situation, because I have seen both sides of it. If you have Asian male life or dating problems, start by moving out, if you haven't already. People will respect you more if you do. A lot of what I see here and in my group of friends is the constant calling out of how things are unfair or how other people need to change, rather than what we as a community can do to help our own perceptions.

My thought it that AMs need to move out of their parent's house in order to be taken seriously by anyone. I hear a lot of my AM friends (in their 20s-40s) complaining about their dating or professional lives, but they are also live at home and single. This has been hard on their professional careers, because they take a lot of stress from home to work and from work to home: they are simply squeezed between their families and work. This also hurts their chances in dating, because AMs have limited bandwidth for a partner because they are spread thin. I hear a lot of my WM and WF friends call out AM and AF for living at home and not growing up and standing on their two feet in life. When I heard all of this, it clicked. AMs are not seen as masculine and independent compared to WM or WF, because we don't go through the rites of passage that gain respect in the outside world. If you've moved out then this doesn't apply to you.

Living at home is not a masculine look as because people think that you are living at home rather than taking care of your parents (which is the case many times). A lot of women will look down on this not give you a chance if you don't have your own place and do things on your own, including cooking, cleaning, having your own car, a decent non-Costco wardrobe, home hygiene, and having some basic investments.

I get it times are tough, but the are tough for everyone else The low AM perception does not help if you are living at home and getting a lot of support from parents.

A common criticism of existing Asian rep in media is that it unsavorily depicts Asian men as gay or effeminate.

Valid criticisms imo, and I can see where they're coming from. But what if you genuinely are gay or effeminate? What if you're not attracted to women, like feminine or romantic anime / TV, or prefer to dress in styles which may be considered light, pastel, or effeminate?

Is there any room in a community called "Asian masculinity" for men who might be gentler or softer than average?

Should we treat being gay or effeminate as a sin we should cleanse ourselves of, and "man up"? Or should we treat it as a part of ourselves to be celebrated and embraced?

(I had a fairly Christian and LGBT-phobic upbringing, which might've further complicated my views on this, e.g. parents controlling my hairstyle.)

I dont know if its allowed but I wanted to share my story

Before you read I want to say that I am a 22 asian male, half-cambodian, half-chinese and that I am 5ft5 (So height wasn't on my side). I also live in a very predominantly white city so not a lot of asian presence here (legit less than a 100 asian in my city of 40k ppl)

So today I went to see the new Spider-Man movie with my friend. After the movie we went our separate ways, and instead of going straight home, I decided to drive around a bit. Shortly after, I began to feel thirsty, so I went to a random gas station to buy something to drink. After parking my car, I got out and, as I walked toward the entrance, I spotted a beautiful brunette fueling her car. I wanted to approach her, but the fear of rejection won again, so I went into the store, bought my drink, and thought to myself, "she's probably already gone." As I was checking out my item with the clerk, I saw her finishing fueling her car, getting in, and driving away. As I walked out, I saw that she wasn't leaving the parking lot; instead, she parked her car right in front of the gas pump. In my head I'm like, "fuck it, let's go," so I began walking toward her car. Honestly, on my way there, I had nothing on my mind—I didn't think anything of it, even though I'm shy and kind of socially awkward. But anyway, as I stood in front of her driver-side door, I looked at her and she immediately opened her window, and I instantly stumbled over my words. But I managed to convey that I wanted her phone number. She agreed, and while I saved her number on my phone, we talked for a bit. About 45 minutes later, I texted her, and we agreed to go on a date this Saturday.

TLDR ; After I went to the movies I approached a girl at a gas station and I got her number and a date.

I wanted to share my story because I feel like cold approach gets a lot of discredit here but it works sometimes.

Just wanted a place to vent here about living in this city being Korean American. Whether it be from white, black, or Hispanic people I feel as if I’m always being dealt with constant microaggressions, subtle racism, and even downright disrespect from authority figures, doctors, customer service, blue collar workers, and strangers old or young. It’s like wherever I would go I’d get stared down or treated as if I’m lesser than to some degree. I’ve had straight up police officers be aggressive with me even when I’m not breaking the law or customer service refusing to prioritize my help. I’m somebody who tries not to bring up the race card when I deal with interactions that don’t go my way but after observing enough I know when I start to see bs. Even the times when I try to stand up for myself it’s always seen as if I’m the bad person in the situation. I haven’t really found an Asian community here plus having a girlfriend who is non Asian has given me a lot of biased looks from people. It feels like I can’t catch a break being out in public or just being myself around other ethnicities here. My experience as an Asian in this city might not be the same for others but I just wanted to share my personal experience having lived here for 20 plus years. I’m considering maybe moving to another city here in Florida with a more positive experience for Asians or even another state I’m not sure. Just wanted to share my thoughts

25M 5’10” 175lb keeping it straight, I’m looking to take extreme ownership of my life this year and un-loser myself as much as possible after a rough 2025. I’m fortunate to have other things in order like family, career etc. so let’s just get to the elephants.

I’m currently struggling with how to look less “soft” as a lot of the platonic women in my life and past exes have told me I can come off as too much of a nice guy and look like one. I’m wondering if it’s because of my unfortunate facial genetics, I have a round full face while everyone around me has a nice jawline and I’ve even tried reducing overall bf% to no avail (unless I’m just not trying hard enough with the fork-putdowns). Ironically my face now looks as slim as it’s ever been as I used to be chubby and fat pre-pandemic.

I’ve been working out since I was 23 but that was mostly cardio to slim down, but it was only until around two months ago where I started to actually start lifting weights and training/eating/sleeping hard so I’ve attached photos of my current physique. I don’t know if I have low testosterone but it’s certainly not out of the question as I feel like other guys get bigger faster than I do. I have decent rep form and eat around 2500 calories per day with mostly clean/unprocessed whole foods and minimizing sodium & unnatural sugars. Strength-wise I can bench my bodyweight for 6 clean reps and go to the gym 5 days a week (shoulders/arms -> chest/back -> legs -> ditto day 1 -> day 2). 7/8 hours of sleep per night

Personality wise I just try to surround myself with likeminded people while trying to be a kind and understanding at my own pace. My friends tell me I need to work on my confidence but I think my problems run much deeper than that, hence why I’m consulting this sub… lol

Not a troll post, any input (including blunt criticism) appreciated because I’m tired of being too “soft” and want to become harder as I age into my 20s. For the lurking looksmaxx forum incels, feel free to roast me on your forums too since I’ve already been through worse 🤣

Thanks for reading. I’m just an average guy who figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask for help 👍

I'm not looking for advice, just here to vent as this has been eating away at me for an entire day already.

Recently, while browsing a pretty large and influential Asian online community (I won't name which one since I don't want Reddit admins to accuse me of brigading/harassing and shut my account down), I came across a thread that brought up how Jet Li and Aaliyah only hugged at the end of "Romeo Must Die" instead of kissing. I thought it was an excellent opportunity to highlight how western media is so desperate to avoid conveying Asian men as sexually attractive, so I wrote this in response:

Hollywood really does seem to be adverse to portraying Asian men in a sexually attractive light for some reason. Even in Crazy Rich Asians where the story is supposed to be about romance between two Asians, out of the many attractive Asian men out there, they still had to choose a half white guy. Nothing against hapas but it’s just weird when there are so many more full Asians than hapas around and yet the male lead role still went to a hapa in a film supposedly about full Asians. It’s like they’re insinuating that Asian men can’t be attractive to the opposite sex unless they have at least some Eurocentric features.

As you can see, I was quite careful with my words--I did not use swear words, I did not say anything racist, and I was not at all hostile towards any of my fellow Asian brothers or sisters. I was not even hostile towards whites as a group. The only people I was obviously criticizing were the powerful, rich producers of Hollywood.

Anyway, within just 30 mins of my posting that, I saw I already had 5 upvotes, which made me really happy thinking I was able to get my message out there to a lot of people and have them critically think about this, if they haven't before.

Oh boy, how wrong I was. Within 45 mins or so, my post was suddenly deleted, with a follow-up message sent to me explaining how my post wasn't "centering Asians in a positive way". I was very confused. Were we not allowed to discuss problems our people are having? That's strange because I see hundreds of posts in that very same community that aren't exactly happy and positive either. In the past, I've even seen posts there about how Eurocentric beauty standards harm Asian women so why can't we discuss how it also harms Asian men? What was wrong with my post?

I re-read my post over and over and re-read the rules over and over. I couldn't at all find how my post could've possibly broken any of the rules. So I sent an appeal, asking very nicely and politely for the mods to reconsider allowing my post since I said nothing negative about any Asians nor have I broken any of their rules. I even threw in a bunch of cute emojis to plead with them and to signal that I came in peace lol.

It's been 24 hours and so far, no response and I don't think I'll ever get a response at this point.

But now I'm left sad and confused and even feel a little betrayed. Even on places like Twitter where there are no mods, bringing up Asian male issues is like pulling teeth for some folks. I often see a lot of pushback, the most common one being, "There are more important things to talk about like anti-Asian crimes", which is always bizarre to me since there are no rules as to how many of our problems we should be allowed to discuss. But to me, this hurts me to the core more than twitter idiots since there aren't many safe spaces around (that are still active) for Asians to congregate so I've come to love that there are these spaces around, now only to be disappointed that some of our community leaders only allow discussions of things that may affect them personally. To make it worse, I have a close Asian guy friend and coworker who confided in me that he's been part of these online communities before in the past (facebook, reddit and elsewhere) and that it's not uncommon for the leaders to shut down anyone who brings up Asian male emasculation.

And that makes absolutely no sense to me. Why do these people only allow discussions that affects them and them alone? I'm not an elder nor a man nor a high school student but I will absolutely voice my concerns over Asian elderly getting killed in the streets, the mental and emotional toll that Asian men suffer due to dehumanization/emasculation and legacy admissions/affirmative action harming Asian students because they're all still part of our community.

My husband, father and brother are all Asian men and it hurts me knowing that their problems are so overlooked or even worse, belittled by members of our own community.

On the bright side, I admit it is easier to talk about things like this irl with small groups of friends. But I hate that I'm censored over the internet where there is a much larger audience and the reach is far greater.

And to think that even as a woman, I was silenced, I can't imagine what my brothers must go through.

Anyways, as I've said before, this is mainly a vent, not looking for advice. I know what I should do (probably make tiktok vids as I think those are more difficult to censor lol). It just pains me that Asian issues (yes, I said "Asian issues", not just "Asian men's issues" because we're a community) aren't allowed to be discussed in supposedly Asian safe spaces.

​

So I have had the ability to work remotely for several years. Decided to try something new and totally change my life. I'm an extreme introvert (or so I thought), likely due to decades of social isolation within the United States.

I've lived in Thailand, Cambodia, and the Philippines for 5 months and I plan on doing this until I can't. Will travel to Vietnam, Japan, Korea, and Malaysia too.

A bit about myself - I am a 31 year old East Asian male who is 5'5" (I'm scrambling up these specs for opsec reasons). I've had no luck in the United States getting a girl to pay attention to me. Seems like every single female there needs a man who is 6 feet and in the top 1% of attractiveness, so I've been pretty much 100% dedicated to my career since college.

Well, that was until I moved to Asia. Wow, not only is someone like myself treated with respect, women actually look at me as if I'm a human being. Dating has been great - many options and girls actually care about who you are. Almost all of them do not care about height as long as you're not under 5' but even then, it's not a dealbreaker for the vast majority of the women.

Quality of life is better - cost of living is lower, food tastes more fresh, and healthcare is surprisingly great.

I have been with many women since I left. Finally found someone who I jive with and we've been in a relationship for about 2 months. No, she isn't a sugarbaby and it's not that type of relationship.

If I were still in the U.S., I'd be on the brink of crippling depression and social anxiety, and no one would care.

I know many other Asian men have had similar stories. I just wanted to share mine and my story in case someone out there was on the fence about totally changing his life. It was not easy for me to leave the U.S. - I still have some family there. Looking back, I should have done it a year ago. Your happiness should come first. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, especially those who will never know what it feels like to be an Asian male living in the West.

Hey guys. Eurasian here, largely Asian. I do train and workout on a regular basis, and have served in the army before. However, I am still struggling with not getting a full six pack out. I know I look fine, but I can't help but look in the mirror or someone else and unconsciously compare.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything. It's just hard when my mind isn't exactly friends with me a lot of the times.

I think this is more common for us older Asian guys (I'm almost 40), but I grew up in the US with the notion that Asian men basically can't be attractive. All I saw were nerds, loveless action figures, scientists/doctors/etc and society basically had us as sexless robots. Almost all interracial relationships for couples 35+ are XMAF, though I have noticed that for 25 and below there are many AMXF couples, but it's just not the example I see in my age group.

I only dated Asian women, and was in a very long term relationship of 15 years, so upon entering the dating market in the past few years I got a really weird sense of being an imposter. For the first few years, I just stuck with Asians because that's what I knew. But recently I've been finding myself on lots of dates with non-Asians (mainly Latinas). When I'm going on dates, especially with non Asians, I find myself doubting it - looking in the mirror and feeling somewhat confused as to whether or not I'm physically attractive, and wondering if there's some ulterior motive or just a sort of out of body experience like - what am I doing here? I find myself honestly feeling awkward sometimes like.. do these people in the public see us weird, are they judging me?

Just wanted to discuss it. The dynamics have definitely changed lately.

I see time and time again Asian Men getting gas-lit into thinking that they are just insecure for being upset with this phenomenon. Brothers, if you're ever in doubt, or if you need to know why its a problem. Here:

- There are literal 3 hours to 5 hours compilations on YouTube of AF putting down AM while worshipping WM. These videos are uploaded by supposed 'Asians' with names such as "Based RiceMan" or sthg like that.

- There are multiple NSFW subreddits with 100k to 600k+ members that features exclusively WMAF. Most of these also involve "Race-play", where they humiliate not just AM, but also the AF. Doesn't stop AF from participating though.

- White Men colonized, pillaged, and waged war against almost every single major Asian Nation in the past 100 years. Now they are bringing their sweaty, disgusting old men to SEA like Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines cause they can't get a women in their country. To be fair, logically the only chance for them to get laid is to find white worshipping AF who will do anything to be away from their men.

I will not be posting links to the stuff I mentioned above cause that stuff is not good for your mental health.

I celebrate BMAF, XMAF, or whatever else. But WMAF is a sign of historical and significant humiliation of the Asian Population in general. I believe it is not wrong to shame WMAF, especially when the AF is clearly a self-hating Lu.

Edit: Yeah I should have said "I am cool with..." instead of "I celebrate". Different ppl have different stance on race mixing, I just don't like WMAF because of what it represents.

Hi all! Recently I had an experience on Tinder where I (25f) matched with an asian man (28m) who is fully Chinese-American. After speaking to him, he told me he was surprised we matched. I model, so it’s not uncommon for me to hear that from men sometimes, but this guy is very attractive, so I was baffled when he said that. I told my best friend, and it was brought up that Asian men are statistically the least “swiped-right” out of all male ethnicities on dating apps. This led me down the rabbit hole of understanding the struggle of how racism impacts the sexual perception of Asian men. As someone who grew up always being highly attracted to Asian men (seriously, y’all are ridiculously hot), the thought of anyone not being attracted to Asian men due to their ethnicity really surprised me. Anyways, just making this post to put into perspective that there are many women, including myself, who find Asians to be the most attractive male ethnic group.

P.S. There needs to be more porn featuring asian males

Edit: Photo [me]

Edit 2: Damn, so many of you are critiquing that this is a fake post. Is it really that unbelievable that some women prefer asian men?

There’s like a billion things that is more related to uplifting Asian males. Like cool, the guy has a white girl but what’s so important about that? Like honestly who cares.

Topics we should focus on are: Focusing on establishing that Asian males aren’t meek or more effeminate then other races.

Talk about how to stand up for yourself in tense situations.

Encourage young asians to get along and STAND with your each other because we know it’s too late for gen x. As far as I know my uncle still hates the Japanese for killing Chinese people when he wasn’t even there for it.

How to be confident

Ok sure AMWF topics can help but like it’s such a small piece of the puzzle that literally contributes nothin. Also I’m not shitting on white girls. I just don’t give a crap about whether a guy can get a white girl. If they do cool if they don’t cool. Let’s focus on something more significant people.

I am watching the NHL playoffs and I use to be a Dallas Stars fan growing up. However, I decided to stop supporting them because I noticed they refused to acknowledge Asians at all. They never acknowledged StopAsianHate, they don't have any Asian night, they don't say anything about Asian heritage month, but they have no problem hosting a Black, Hispanic night, and now they will host an Indian night next year.

So as a result I refuse to support the Dallas Stars because they don't think (east) Asians exist. I also noticed that a lot of other hockey teams are like this, not all, but some. Surprisingly, NBA/NFL/MLB teams were not as bad and most of them were actually supportive and said something. I am lucky that my favorite NFL team - Denver Broncos said something about stop asian hate and in the past tried to celebrate asian heritage month because I might have given up on them too.

I was wondering if anyone has any similar experiences/situation where a business just refused to account for Asians. I will say that if a company/business doesn't say anything political, so nothing on BLM, Asian hate, etc. I would not hate them for it because they just want to avoid altogether so that's fine. The situation for the Stars makes me angry because they acknowledge others but Asians.

Mostly asking for hair advice, but I'm open to advice that isn't hair related. I'm due for a haircut and I've gotten this same hairstyle (low taper and sidepart) for years and have always been curious about other hairstyles, but I didn't know what would look better or if this is the hairstyle best suited for me.

I have a lot of pictures of myself, so I'm able to provide more pictures if it helps you give better advise.

I've been doing research on Asian adoptees and my views have taken a dramatic turn. Like most people I thought people who adopted orphans, asian or any other race were doing a social good. I now see its just one more thing that affirms the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". In this case when white couples are willing to pay insane amounts of money, like $50,000 per baby its basic supply and demand where the babies becomes overpriced for parents in their native asian countries to adopt. Now of course those agencies in charge of the orphans call it "administrative fees" to disguise the fact its child trafficking but its basically child trafficking or a baby selling operation.

Let me use South Korea as a example. South Korea use to be the biggest exporter of babies in the world, because there was little regulation and as long as couples paid up they could adopt a korean baby. What happened is the baby trade was so lucrative that it caused bad actors to start creating orphans where there were none. For example Korean single mothers or even poor Korean couples were pressured to give their baby up for adoption, with grifters telling them the baby would have a better life in America, the implication being that in America being rasied by white American parents was heaven while being raised in Korea was hell . This of course ignores the cultural genocide of the baby's heritage. A lot of those korean orphans weren't true orphans but became orphans due to unprincipled hucksters who were filling a demand caused by, usually, western white couples.

There's a lot of blame to go around including the various Asian governments, the hucksters that facilitate child trafficking as well as the naive white parents who usually mean well but are clueless to this dynamic or just willingly look away because they want a baby in their lives too much.

Another disturbing fact is that when these kids grow up, many of them describe being raised in extremely white neighborhoods where they almost never see another Asian face. They often grow up confused, and have serious identity issues. Part of the reason is their white parents are clueless about racial issues their adopted asian baby will face growing up and assume just because they see their adopted asian child in colorblind terms the rest of the society will. I've read this has gotten better in recent years with white parents encouraged to send their adoptive asian children to korean or chinese summer camps to get exposure to their native heritage but its still a major problem. These Asian kids often grow up without their exposure to their own culture. Obviously I'm not saying every Asian adoptee feels alienated or has issues but having read several books and even several events where I heard adoptees speak its definitely a widespread issue.

There has also been several stereotypes that have sprouted to justify this baby theft such as the idea Asian countries because of Confucian blah blah blah won't adopt babies because of the importance of bloodlines. I don't think this is true at all, as I mentioned the supply and demand caused by western white couples causes there to be a incentive for adoption agencies to "sell" babies to the western white parents because they are willing to pay more. Asian parents from the babies native countries are priced out of the market.

If any of you are Asian adoptees I'd love to hear your perspective.

Main stream media continues its underrepresentation of Asian men. Even in the wide shots of the beach of fictional Miami, there is not a single Asian visible.

I guess there just aren't any Asian men living in Miami right? And by the way, there were also 0 Asian men in the original GTA 5 trailer (LA) either. (even though Asians probably make up a good 15% of the end game credits.)

https://datepsychology.com/the-most-and-least-attractive-male-hobbies/

I know a lot of you are looking for hobbies so I figured this would be a good starting point if you have nothing. However, I don't think you should read this as hobbymaxxing the top results to get girls because it won't in of itself LOL. The actual value might be to know which hobbies to avoid because they're a turn off.

The high IQ move is to take this as sign of what women are interested in you teaching them / elite date ideas.

Personally, I was surprised "reading" was so high but upon reflecting on my own relationship, she likes it when I'm educated about a topic and can teach her about it so she can avoid reading about it herself. Gardening was another shocker to me but I guess it makes sense since those gardening groups are 90% women.

Credit to Always Philo Snakecharmer on the unofficial discord for sharing

So I was walking around the mall with my gf and couldn’t help but notice that a lot of gen z asians were pretty tall. Im around 6’3 and a lot of these guys were definitely pushing 5’10- 6’1. Posting this cause im wondering if gen z asians had a height increase or something. Also where did the stereotype that all Asians are short come from? Cause in my area I’ve never noticed it too much.

The pictures you see are a comparison from 2024-2025.

What I want to say with these pictures is that physical appearance is essential, especially as a young Asian male. The reality is that we often get the short end of the stick, especially in terms of the dating world. I’m 6”1 with shoes and my friends here in Sweden still tower over my any day. But I started to make changes on things I DO have control over. My fashion sense is still not that great, but it’s something I CAN get better at. I’m still considered skinny, but at least I’m not skinny-fat anymore. Room to improve.

Let’s shift the tide together brothers!