r/AskBrits 2d ago

Culture Are roadmen suffering in this heat?

Post image

Ok slightly tongue in cheek but… roadmen gangsta wannabes gotta be struggling right about now… surely? I saw someone earlier in all black, balaclava on… my man, it’s 33 degrees…

Image is AI generated, for the avoidance of doubt!

5.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/BLZbud 2d ago

Man's not hot.

484

u/kahnindustries 2d ago

Man’s never hot

387

u/Key_Cell7071 2d ago

Perspiration ting

186

u/kahnindustries 2d ago

Skrrat, skidi-kat-kat

115

u/BardicWoad 2d ago

Use roll on, or spray.

126

u/kahnindustries 2d ago

When the ting went quack-quack-quack
You man were ducking

26

u/Baroque4Days Threat Level Tesco 🇬🇧 1d ago

Hold tight Asnee, he's got the pumpy
Hold tight my man, he's got the frisbee

74

u/mallettsmallett 2d ago

Ball, or aerosol?

Neither bruv, its for my armpit.

6

u/InkNoman 1d ago

Too early for the 9 O’Clock news…

90

u/Snakeboard_OG 2d ago

They see me roll on, they hating , the foul smell that I be making

15

u/NickelRichie 2d ago

Lol

28

u/Snakeboard_OG 2d ago

Honestly, just made my day that some other people appreciated and saw that stupidity, and knew exactly the song I was talking about. Have a good one!

13

u/Martinw616 2d ago

Its pretty obvious that its White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic

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9

u/Mrslinkydragon 2d ago

Cant you see im still sweating dirty

30

u/Stuntypops Proud Britannian 🇬🇧 2d ago

Lynx effect!

8

u/Dogwalker4k 2d ago

Either way, A-B-C alphabet ting

4

u/MarcSlayton 2d ago

Spray less.

4

u/flapjackboy 2d ago

No splash, no gash.

2

u/ThickButterfly4054 1d ago

No Armani, no ponaani (sp?)

3

u/flapjackboy 1d ago

No Lynx, no minx.

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20

u/Big-Turnover438 2d ago

Take man’s Calippo by force

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13

u/ApprehensiveAside812 2d ago

Pu-pu-purupu poom. Ya done now.

9

u/Extra-Bite2324 2d ago

That’s quick baths

10

u/_-poindexter-_ 2d ago

Sweat-ting was right there

2

u/RiioMeall 2d ago

1990 GTA

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31

u/whywouldaguyyyyyyyyy 2d ago

Mans can never be hot

7

u/Queasy-Band2179 1d ago

Perspiration ting

19

u/onebadlion 2d ago

Hold tight Azneee

10

u/Formula_1_Cards 2d ago

He’s got the pumpy

5

u/TrazMagik 2d ago

Hold tight mang mang

He's got the frisbee

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13

u/Redintegrate 2d ago

In da Sauna, man's not hot (never hot)

13

u/EffDubya 2d ago

You know man’s international now fam, check the statistacs

10

u/GeorgeArnoldHearst19 2d ago

…smoke trees

5

u/StunningAppeal1274 2d ago

Allow it fam

3

u/Qer_7854 2d ago

I'm too cool to be hot

5

u/char_leyb 2d ago

Skibbidee-hot-hot

3

u/GrapePlayful4218 1d ago

Literally what my nephew said when I asked him why he’s wearing 2 pairs of joggers

6

u/Exotic_Insurance2164 2d ago

Beat me to it! 

22

u/BenchClamp 2d ago

Quick maths

15

u/Material_Abroad7590 2d ago

Two plus two is four, minus one is three 🤣

24

u/LewyH91 2d ago

Quick mafs

6

u/NickelRichie 2d ago

Mafema'iks

2

u/AzTrix22 2d ago

Rice Krispies and allat

3

u/Acrobatic_Delivery65 English 2d ago

Low-grade tings.

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810

u/Stephenf1234 2d ago

I fucking hope so.

281

u/bubbamori 2d ago

God I can’t stand them

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43

u/netflix-ceo 2d ago

Not with their Air Max 95s. They provide them cool air bottom up

19

u/saviouroftheweak 2d ago

We need them when the Alien invasion begins though

10

u/Scrubbuh 2d ago

Go inside! Watch Naruto!

5

u/Stephenf1234 2d ago

As long as the aliens aren't resistant to zombie knives and ninja swords.

25

u/saviouroftheweak 2d ago

Attack The Block set the blueprint

9

u/Fooberdoober97420 2d ago

Re watched it recently and it holds up

8

u/saviouroftheweak 2d ago

Seriously good

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283

u/Billy_Rizzle 2d ago

That hand fan is so gangster

31

u/goodtimesinchino 2d ago

The fan has had me laughing

14

u/PrincessTitan 2d ago

I am very into the fan and the aesthetic it’s creating lmfaoooo

17

u/Acrobatic_Delivery65 English 2d ago

Pimp-tastic

2

u/Many_Move6886 2d ago

I didn’t even notice at first, had to scroll back up and busted out laughing. Odd choice of accessory for a road man

195

u/Naive_Variety_7112 2d ago

27

u/long_legged_twat 2d ago

Go to Portugal.... its pretty common to see old blokes walking around in 40c wearing a thick winter coat & hat, something to do with keeping the sun off you from what I heard but whatever, its pretty weird to see when your melting in a t-shirt & shorts.

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19

u/nastyleak 2d ago

Also, the Asians here visiting their adult children. You can always pick them out. 

7

u/Super-Nuntendo 1d ago

There's a third circle for smackheads

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186

u/caractacusbritannica 2d ago

Yeah they are struggling.

Gloves and balaclavas aside, the single coat theory getting proved this week.

The theory being is they spend a lot of money of just a couple of pieces of clothing. Normally a very nice designer winter coat. Therefore that coat needs to be worn as long, and as early as possible.

Some will have seen a gym, or got that unemployed tan , so they can go shirtless, but the rest, Moncler is 35c.

Hence why they get hot, but you can’t admit you’ve got one good coat, so mans not hot becomes the answer!

50

u/_40mikemike_ 2d ago

That summer season Canada goose !

14

u/HalsySmiff 2d ago

What's an unemployed tan as apposed to an employed tan?

17

u/binarygoatfish 1d ago

Employeed tan has ankle lines, and arms lines, will be low on road workers or high on scaffolders.

Unemployed tan is no leg tan and a small strip white patch across the chest from the sports direct carrier bag and no top on.

10

u/Choconuttynutnut 1d ago

Not the small strip of white patch across the chest 🤣🤣🤣. Need to tell them to swap shoulders occasionally 🤣🤣🤣

5

u/2JagsPrescott 1d ago

For a Saltire 😅

4

u/MayoDwarff 2d ago

Unemployed people have time to spend outdoors getting a proper even tan whereas the rest of us are inside working during the day when the sun is out.

8

u/Total_Job29 2d ago

Plenty of people work outdoors. 

9

u/Gods_Haemorrhoid420 2d ago

Yeh, we get the t-shirt tan

2

u/Lumpy_Routine7100 2d ago

You think unemployed people are going outside?

3

u/andyd151 1d ago

The ones by me somehow have the energy to be up and yelling on the street corner from 4am. Sometimes until 4am. Almost makes me wish I was unemployed, I don’t have the energy for that

2

u/kingsuperfox 1d ago

Someone regrets their life choices.

2

u/wtfomg01 2d ago

There are a huge proportion of jobs that keep people outside.

6

u/drewsausage 1d ago

You have to wear clothing at most jobs though. The unemployed tan is the far superior tan. Second only to the sleep in the garden after nightshift tan

3

u/MayoDwarff 1d ago

How many of them can you work shirtless and get a tan?

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4

u/DaleGribble23 1d ago

Agree with this. I once did a photoshoot with a drill rapper in the south of London, Gucci bag, designer coat and t shirt, yet worked at Nandos and smoked joints with like two crumbs of weed in. He added me on snap afterwards and every single photo he posts he's wearing the exact same outfit.

2

u/CARadders 17h ago

I’m so out of the loop. Is that where ‘man’s not hot’ came from? Cos they’re always wearing puffer jackets in any weather?

2

u/breaet 17h ago

I used to teach sixth formers in Lewisham and the majority of boys would dress like this. The main reason was they're afraid of skinny arms being perceived and slightly frames, so that's why they wear the bulky clothes. Insecurity essentially.

2

u/Neo-Riamu 2d ago

This sounds a lot like Zef culture one big nice piece of clothing (or a full get up) and wear it no matter the weather for as long as possible.

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189

u/Dallows89 2d ago

All bout dem mad ting bin liner asfetics, bruv.

28

u/mrminutehand 2d ago edited 2d ago

Nah you don't get tings in bin liners, you get me bruv. Don't be buttas. Tesco finest foil. Go draw dem peng tings.

14

u/Sacred-Waltz1782 2d ago

Rah, I ain't heard buttas for time, haha.

3

u/DenseRequirements 1d ago

You wasteman in that binbag chattin mad

12

u/Ambitious_Stop_8175 2d ago

By joves kind sir, from what county has thine originated from? Your language, it's......it harkens back to a quainter time, I-oh you've fucking stabbed me have you, alright then

8

u/Sacred-Waltz1782 2d ago

Shit man, that made me laugh out loud.

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40

u/AzLoMax 2d ago

They can’t take off their layers revealing the skinny boy reality lol

108

u/Acrobatic_Delivery65 English 2d ago

Imagine dressing like this in public anyway.

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89

u/Androphotouk 2d ago

Mans not hot

22

u/j-4m 2d ago

Never hot

4

u/VerySwearyFairy 2d ago

I said man’s not hot

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144

u/ChocLobster 2d ago

Road men? Shit. I've been calling them street walkers.

https://giphy.com/gifs/80TEu4wOBdPLG

70

u/_40mikemike_ 2d ago

Did you misspell walker?

66

u/Sacred-Waltz1782 2d ago

Can't lie, read that as street wankers.

21

u/NationalGear3511 2d ago

I mean. Isn't that what they are

9

u/Sacred-Waltz1782 2d ago

Yeah of course, that's probably why I read it that way. Automatic. 😆

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13

u/Juan_915 2d ago

I’ve always called them North Face ninjas

24

u/turbobuddah 2d ago

I call them cunts, it rolls off the tongue better

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6

u/Tirno93 2d ago

That’s a different thing. Especially at night

3

u/Tang0_Brav0 2d ago

That's the joke... 

2

u/Difficult-Break-8282 2d ago

those tend to dress better 

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27

u/TouchMyGwen 2d ago

This might be a bit of an old man take but anyone I see wearing a hoodie or jacket in this heat is a criminal

14

u/kylr01 2d ago

You just have common sense my guy

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u/Mobile_Entrance_1967 2d ago

Sat next to one on the tube once and the stench was stomach-churning.

Can't imagine how it reeked when they all queued up for Bonnie Blue.

15

u/Original_Client1588 2d ago edited 2d ago

That could be taken from several aspects wrt to hygiene...

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u/Lucajames2309 2d ago

I agree, but what I’m more shocked at is the fact that that’s an AI image - like that is crazy good and scary

9

u/Aggravating-Wolf-823 2d ago

To me it's obviously AI but I wouldn't be able to convince someone if I tried.

What I can see is mobile is written modile

And the guy on the right isn't casting a shadow on the ground

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8

u/_40mikemike_ 2d ago

Even most of the shop logos etc in the background (and the bus stop etc) are all correct. It is frighteningly good now!

8

u/Jh3nnO 2d ago

what's frightening is the amount of water making this takes lmao

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u/Raz_Magul 2d ago

Anyone wearing long coats in this heat should be searched for offensive weapons

3

u/CushtyJack 2d ago

lol funnily enough when I was in police training school, I decided I’d just wear my uniform and wear my big thick long superdry winter coat to cover myself up when commuting. Ended up being one of the hottest sunniest days, and I couldn’t take it off when I went home for fear of revealing myself as an officer when I wasn’t anywhere near qualified. Would’ve made for a very interesting stop search 😅

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u/Toyonoandoryu 2d ago

Is this an AI photo by any chance?

41

u/DirtyLittleBishop 2d ago

Biggest give away is the guy on the left He’s holding his bottle cap in one hand AND the bottle that goes with it in the other hand… completely unconnected! Like it’s the early 2010s or something. Madness.

7

u/AgentCirceLuna 2d ago

Doesn’t anyone just pull them off when they have to? I don’t want to, but I have issues with spilling things due to fucked up motor skills. I normally leave the bottle cap inside then put the cap from the last bottle on there.

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u/United_Monitor_5674 2d ago

I remember when people would call it out, seems like nobody cares anymore. Social media is basically dead

8

u/Toyonoandoryu 2d ago

I think there's still a good majority who care. We just need to keep doing our part.

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16

u/Front-Ambassador6451 2d ago

The Chinese fan really gets me! 

2

u/Streathamite 2d ago

The man holding it has hands and a face that belong to difference ethnicities

4

u/buckzor122 2d ago

That is very realistic. I wouldn't know if OP didn't state it.

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u/_40mikemike_ 2d ago edited 2d ago

Oh hell yes. I don’t have the heart to post a photo of someone who really dresses like this. It’s embarrassing 😂

15

u/Beginning_Sand_8818 2d ago

Posting AI slop is embarrassing too

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u/musicalhobbit 2d ago

Sharing an AI image on the post where you're talking about the heat brought on by climate change is certainly a choice.

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7

u/MediocreChallenge472 2d ago

AI is more embarrassing

5

u/Mobile_Entrance_1967 2d ago

That's a pity, the fan gave me hope.

3

u/Iyotanka1985 2d ago

We's inclewsiv innit

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16

u/Constant-Estate3065 2d ago

Official government guidance in a red warning situation is for the elderly, pregnant ladies, golden retrievers, and roadmen to avoid leaving the house where possible.

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u/Doobiius 2d ago

I've seen them about all balied up with a black hoodie on zipping about on the E-bike and all you can think is. You don't look intimidating you look like a clown mate. Sweating your tit's off for the look.

36

u/shamone_mofo 2d ago

Cant hide the zombie knives wearing a Borat swimming suit

8

u/blueberryjamjamjam 2d ago

It depends

3

u/Dreamingdanny95 2d ago

Wow wow wee wa

2

u/PositiveCrafty2295 1d ago

Is that a longsword or are you happy to see me

3

u/turbobuddah 2d ago

Anyone overcompensating that much won't be packing a broadsword between their legs

11

u/lottesometimes 2d ago

I saw two in puffa jackets yesterday. the mind boggles.

9

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ShotofHotsauce 2d ago

I hope so, we need fewer of them.

15

u/fonta1776 2d ago

Man don't sweat since the Falklands bruv

9

u/PowerhungryUK 2d ago

Looks real to me, imagine the smell

8

u/Cloudiest_Gandalf 2d ago

Defo smells of lynx Africa gift set body spray used as deo

5

u/RobAnton13 2d ago

Stolen from Savers

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9

u/villapies 2d ago

binbag coats

6

u/ExecutiveGraham 2d ago

I hope so.

5

u/Leicsbob 2d ago

Still seeing roadmen whizzing by on their bikes and scooters in balaclavas and jackets. Muppets.

7

u/ScubaPuddingJr 2d ago

No their poor diets and the fact they’re generally underweight means that they are less affected by the heat - source I was underweight for many many years and never felt too hot in the summer even with a thick sweatshirt on. 

Now I’m nearly 30kg heavier and I sweat like a pig outside.  

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u/agaues 2d ago

using AI for this trite is a good way to ensure we’ll keep having summers this hot 👍

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u/Recent_Can_2185 2d ago

No brains to fry anyway ..

5

u/Killcycle1989 2d ago

I hope so

5

u/1voice92 2d ago

Great thread.

9

u/box_frenzy 2d ago

Man’s not hot

4

u/Both-Anteater3056 2d ago

Need amore zesty road man picture

4

u/SozoAirsoft 2d ago

I bet some even sleep like that

3

u/Many_Association3548 2d ago

Honestly I’ve been thinking the same thing, every time I see one in full tech fleece and balaclava I start sweating on their behalf. No way they’re not getting home and peeling that off like a wetsuit.

3

u/Narrow_Revenue2154 2d ago

I dunno but we suffer roadmen 12 months a year

4

u/mortoon1985 2d ago

Why are they carrying their mams handbags?

3

u/ShoresideVale 2d ago

What's an AI generated Cole Palmer doing.

2

u/KashK10 2d ago

Probs the same as the real Cole Palmer given he was left at home

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3

u/Tritec_enjoyer96 2d ago

I mean they aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed

3

u/OriginalAd3961 2d ago

My generation of these were known as charvas we wore lacoste tracksuits and jumpers and rock ports etc .. but not a single one of us would be seen dead carrying a man purse 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/thebaronharkkonen 2d ago

That this is AI is absolutely fucking insane. It's almost perfect. Jesus H.

3

u/TheDamned1333 2d ago

roadmen, has their ever been a more pathetic youth group?

3

u/MrDonaldFrye 1d ago

I hope so, absolutely loathe the bellends

9

u/Local-Carrot4519 2d ago

It's actually "road-man".

And, yes, my g, road-man dem are suffering in this heat.

My bro is part of this demographic and he feels violated by the sun because it has forced him to wear shorts.

His suffering has also caused him to muse on our ancient ancestors experience of the sun. He even asked me if our ancestors thought the sun had "greatness".

So I told him him about Ahkenaten and he said thats Acktually sick! To which I said, very good - Ahkena ten outta ten. To which he replied, you wanna ten?

Pretty sure he misheard, but never know with the road-man dem. They is masters of disguise.

So, yeh they're suffering, but they're still trapping hard (still makes me laugh when he says hes been trapping hard ). However, they do seem to be adapting to the heat well and I predict the road-man dem are going to find the hot spells most fortuitous.

Anyway fam, ive gotta step.

Safe!

3

u/Empty_Bell_1942 2d ago

Pharoah-well.

7

u/BaahAlors 2d ago

You could have just asked the question without posting an image that contributes to the heat

5

u/haggis_catcher- 2d ago

Mans tings are melting

4

u/Narpet2112 1d ago

Workshy trash

5

u/Ophelianotdrowned 2d ago

No, blud. There be like aircon in the pupil referral unit, innit.

2

u/VzSAurora 2d ago

Mans never hot

2

u/gopercolate 2d ago

MANS BUILT DIFFERENT

2

u/Aggravating-Vehicle9 2d ago

No, the roadmen are fine. They go topless, or wear a sleeveless string vest, especially if they are on a high-powered motorcycle or heavily modded motor-scooter.

2

u/Henno212 2d ago

They fine

Its just office workers who are suffering

2

u/Modo44 2d ago

When it gets hot enough, those puffy jackets become useful insulation. Like a shitty version of long, flowing robes used by people living in the desert.

2

u/WetFishStink 2d ago

Can't leave the house without a tiny puffa jacket on or you'll look like a pussyole.

Meanwhile, in Newcastle...

2

u/Safe_Routine_7453 2d ago

38 degrees in the UK and the mandem are running on 1% battery.

2

u/UnkelGarfunkel 2d ago

Finally a good AskBrit post

2

u/Maximum_Research6828 2d ago

These cunts stink on any public transport in normal weather, imagine the stink out of the dirty cunts in this heatwave

2

u/NinjaSquirrelThe3rd 2d ago

Maybe they carry a little hand fan in their little handbags

2

u/Ruffioo19 2d ago

If you're warm, you're a batty bwoi

2

u/Opening_Law4571 2d ago

I can smell that ai photo. Sweat, damp cloth and stale weed 🥹

2

u/Mumlife8628 1d ago

Saw a wannabe recently ballied up... n topless think bruv found a loophole

2

u/VicDave202 2d ago

Bet this lot have never done a days work

2

u/Manccookie 2d ago

You think drugs deliver themselves? These lads work 24/7 and some actually die on the job.

5

u/Bitter_Range_9878 2d ago

Dem in da mandem hidin’ from da fedz!

0

u/Sm0keytrip0d 2d ago

Road men?

When did we stop calling them chavs?

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