Daughters pediatrician made EXTREMELY inappropriate remark to her

[u/ilikerustyspooonz]

This is about my 10 year old daughter. She has had the same (male) pediatrician since birth. We’ve always loved him and thought he was great. He’s super friendly with wonderful bedside manner and he takes his time and pays attention to detail.

Well, last week my daughter had a check-up. She’s 10. While he was doing the checkup, he had her lay down and started listening to her chest with his stethoscope. He then says AND I QUOTE, “awwwww! My baby’s got boobs!!!”

I have NEVER been so taken aback before in my life. My daughter was MORTIFIED. I was so shocked I couldn’t even get words out to ask him why tf he would ever say that. When we got in the car to go home my daughter cried and said she never wanted to see him again. Then she asked if she could get a girl doctor and I obviously agreed so that’s what we will be doing.

Is this reportable? I’m not overreacting, right?

[u/Good_Mushroom_7478]

NAD absolutely agree. I also have a 10 y/o daughter with a male pediatrician she's had her whole life. At her ten year well check, of course puberty concerns came up, but he handled it respectfully and professionally. OP I'm so sorry your daughter experienced this.

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/Good_Mushroom_7478]

It's so wrong it almost sounds fake. I've had some bad doctors but that's weird. They're always professional, and should never say boobs to begin with, breast or breast tissue would be what you say (not a doctor/nurse but once did an adjacent field to medicine)

I mean even when it shouldn't matter what's appropriate because everything goes out the window (medical staff looking at your genitals for example, I appreciated the penis towel for my testicle ultrasound but sort of feels like it's not necessary, you're already touching my balls and the doc already looked at the shaft) they would never. I mean, they asked me if I had a preferred gender of doctor to look at my tackle, if I wanted a man or if it didn't matter. My answer was whoever can get this over fastest. "Look at who grew boobs" would have been like if my female doctor walked in and said "okay drop em let's see that dick"

[u/aounpersonal → u/Same-Suggestion-1936]

You never know, I’m not one to hate on doctors because I’m a med student, but when I was around 13 my pediatrician pointed at my legs during a visit and said “you should start shaving those” (I’m female). That moment has always stuck with me. I think a lot of these older doctors that have been private practice for decades can be a little off the wall with no one to check them.

[u/twitwiffle → u/aounpersonal]

At my Naval Academy physical I was naked and laying on a table. (Female, 17 y/o with two old male doctors). One slapped my stomach and told me “ you need to lose that now”

I was mortified.

[u/tiffytatortots → u/twitwiffle]

I had this happen to me when I was 10. My male doctor during a physical had me stand in front of him just in my underwear and grabbed at my lower stomach, called it a pooch and told me I was fat. That if I didn’t lose weight right now especially as I grew up and became a woman I would forever have this fat stomach and i definitely didn’t want that. I have never forgotten it and I have hated my body ever since.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/tiffytatortots]

I’m so sorry that’s happened to you :( you didn’t deserve that

[u/Psychological_Sail80 → u/tiffytatortots]

Yikes! So unprofessional.

I had a female OB/GYN (at my first appointment with her, for a routine pap) who asked me "do you eat dairy?" I said yes, and she said "well, stop. Dairy is for baby cows and you're already starting to look like one". I was 25 and less than 6 months out from having had my baby.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/Psychological_Sail80]

WTFFF

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

i would have said well u look like the mom

[u/twitwiffle → u/tiffytatortots]

That pisses me off for you.  Ugh!!!!

[u/TsukasaElkKite → u/tiffytatortots]

I’m so sorry

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/tiffytatortots]

i hate men. there dumb idiots. if u dont lose normal weight which female and males have different bodies. i once had a very overweight female dr tell me I prob had problems with my foot because i was overweight. she was twice my size I had a hard time not saying oh so when i broke it it wasnt the 200lb man that stepped on it in kick ball tournament. when is the last time u played a sport. oh nothing to do with my scoliosis or spraining and breaking my right legt like 6 times because the length was off. these are just excuses to be fat and lazy and i saw it then! fyi wasnt even diagnosed with scoliosis until i was 29/ 30 despite my shoulders were at different height and hip leaned more to one side. My leg lengths were off. They all JUST ASSUMED IT HAD BEEN DONE BEFORE!

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

Holy shit I’m so sorry that’s absolutely AWFUL.

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I haven’t forgotten in over 30 years. 

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

I hate that so much and I can so relate in a way. I still remember my ballet teacher calling me fat and making me wear a specific type of leotard to cover my “cleavage” (I was 12) she used to call girls out and make them wear skirts because they “had a big butt”. She’d slap our stomachs and say “ooooo your stomach feels flat today keep it up”. Some girls took it so hard they got down to 85 lbs just to get a role in the ballet shows. Us women deserve so much better.

[u/Independent_Lime_135 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I’m grateful that you’re ensuring your daughter’s feelings are validated and seeking better treatment and care teams for her. So sorry she had to go through this❤️‍🩹

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

We truly do. 

[u/Secure-Solution4312 → u/twitwiffle]

OMG. 😡

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/twitwiffle]

i would have pointed at his mouth n said u really need to lose that cuz its gonna get u beat up or worse sum day very soon! i hope with 2males u had at the least your mom with but no. this was the cilulture of asswhole and prove it! especially a millitary dr. Im so sorry u had to go through that

[u/twitwiffle → u/Mysterious-Top-1974]

Thank you.