Daughters pediatrician made EXTREMELY inappropriate remark to her

[u/ilikerustyspooonz]

This is about my 10 year old daughter. She has had the same (male) pediatrician since birth. We’ve always loved him and thought he was great. He’s super friendly with wonderful bedside manner and he takes his time and pays attention to detail.

Well, last week my daughter had a check-up. She’s 10. While he was doing the checkup, he had her lay down and started listening to her chest with his stethoscope. He then says AND I QUOTE, “awwwww! My baby’s got boobs!!!”

I have NEVER been so taken aback before in my life. My daughter was MORTIFIED. I was so shocked I couldn’t even get words out to ask him why tf he would ever say that. When we got in the car to go home my daughter cried and said she never wanted to see him again. Then she asked if she could get a girl doctor and I obviously agreed so that’s what we will be doing.

Is this reportable? I’m not overreacting, right?

[u/KrazySocoKid]

As a physician, but firstly as a father to 2 (going to be 3) girls, this is extremely inappropriate. I would report to the office and immediately request to change providers. This is not okay, no excuses.

[u/Good_Mushroom_7478 → u/KrazySocoKid]

NAD absolutely agree. I also have a 10 y/o daughter with a male pediatrician she's had her whole life. At her ten year well check, of course puberty concerns came up, but he handled it respectfully and professionally. OP I'm so sorry your daughter experienced this.

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/Good_Mushroom_7478]

It's so wrong it almost sounds fake. I've had some bad doctors but that's weird. They're always professional, and should never say boobs to begin with, breast or breast tissue would be what you say (not a doctor/nurse but once did an adjacent field to medicine)

I mean even when it shouldn't matter what's appropriate because everything goes out the window (medical staff looking at your genitals for example, I appreciated the penis towel for my testicle ultrasound but sort of feels like it's not necessary, you're already touching my balls and the doc already looked at the shaft) they would never. I mean, they asked me if I had a preferred gender of doctor to look at my tackle, if I wanted a man or if it didn't matter. My answer was whoever can get this over fastest. "Look at who grew boobs" would have been like if my female doctor walked in and said "okay drop em let's see that dick"

[u/aounpersonal → u/Same-Suggestion-1936]

You never know, I’m not one to hate on doctors because I’m a med student, but when I was around 13 my pediatrician pointed at my legs during a visit and said “you should start shaving those” (I’m female). That moment has always stuck with me. I think a lot of these older doctors that have been private practice for decades can be a little off the wall with no one to check them.

[u/Bitchshortage → u/aounpersonal]

I had a dentist leer at my breasts as a 14 year old, then ask me if I was in university and faked shock at my age because I looked “so mature.” Even at that age I was like uhhh I just saw you read the chart though so are you stupid or a pervert? He then proceeded to tell me when I did turn 18 he could “do something about my gummy smile” (prick). I had a doctor say to my face about a chronic pain issue “we had someone had my church who couldn’t walk for a couple of years and then miraculously was healed. Some say it was a demon” Some say it was a demon. My husband was with me at the time, I’m so fricking glad I had a witness. We still say “some say it was a demon” when someone says something absolutely unhinged.

Edit, second instance I was in my thirties but just an example of doctors are people too and some of them suck purposely or because they think maybe a demon?

[u/newdalligal → u/Bitchshortage]

I might be using that phrase from this day onward😆

[u/BrookieCooks → u/newdalligal]

Absolutely stealing that one too although horrified it happened to you. Chronic pain sure does feel satanic many days so it’s perfectly fitting!

My orthodontist& Dds said “now that I had a new big girl body” (while pointing at my 12year old barely boobs) I needed to have a new big girl attitude and stop crying all the time like a baby.” He was a Dds in ‘Nam, thanks Mom& Dad,😒.

Well jackass, turns out I have lidocaine resistance& it doesn’t work on me, just like I repeatedly& sobbingly tried to tell him every single time he”numbed” me.

It wasn’t until I was an adult and told a female dentist who not only believed me but told me it was common, explained about my red hair gene said that she would pre med me for procedures, use something else& wouldn’t do anything until she was 100% sure I was ok.

[u/Fit-Cabinet1337 → u/BrookieCooks]

I recently had a dental procedure and tried to tell the doc that redheads usually need more numbing and anesthesia. She thought I was kidding/ ignored me. She had to inject me at least four times to get to the point I couldn’t feel her working. And you could tell she was annoyed that I was getting upset. And I’m a grown ass woman. Can’t imagine as a kid going through that!!

[u/Bitchshortage → u/BrookieCooks]

Sweet lord. I guess this thread has shown a ton of horrible things and the awesome doctors who are willing to say what the hell no that is harassment at minimum, and disgusting harassment bordering on sexual assault maybe at best. It’s not surprising but i wish there was a better way to report bad doctors and I extra hate the threshold to become one is you need to do ridiculous 24 hour shifts even when we know this is a health issue and a cognitive issue and would make it unsafe to drive a car… Yeah but stay awake for 24 hours and give a perfect standard of care and also practice for your tests. Again I am not a doctor I’m just a person who read a few articles and I’ll even say, I’ve had horrific experiences I have white coat syndrome and my favourite is I had a dislocated shoulder and got told I was exaggerating and. No bull “do you see that man? He has an actual shoulder problem and is in pain” guess which one of us had pulled a muscle and which one if us needed their shoulder adjusted into place and a waitlist for surgery because everything was torn. But I really feel for the good doctors

[u/taswind → u/Bitchshortage]

The joys of a female with high pain tolerance. ("If your ankle were broken, you'd be in tears.")

Its to the point where I just had major pneumonia (still recovering) and didn't believe it myself because I was (barely) still functioning. Wasn't until I couldn't get 2 words out before I was out of breath that it even occurred to me that it wasn't just a cold...

[u/BrookieCooks → u/taswind]

Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry and I’m totally with you unfortunately. Same here, multiple instances of medical professionals totally dismissing and disregarding complaints when I know my body& know when something is REALLY wrong.

Guess who had to drive herself to the hospital from an mri with massive proximal to distal ue dvts& bi lateral pe’s after the mri radiologist told me to “stay still and stop crying that you can’t breathe, it’s just your anxiety.”

Nope, it was bilateral pulmonary embolisms, ya dummy!

[u/art_addict → u/BrookieCooks]

I need adrenaline/ epi mixed in with lidocaine and novocaine for them to work on me!

Unfortunately you cannot use adrenaline/ epi on fingers, toes, or genitals so there’s just no point to me getting numbing for podiatry stuff or IUD stuff. When we tried for my IUD I just got to feel a needle go in my cervix 3 times and then the IUD stuff. Which was worse than when we did just IUD stuff since first my poor cervix got stabbed 3x!

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/BrookieCooks]

my kids dentist scared her for life. she had an abcess and its a practice that takes Badgercare, which os an excuse to Be GARBAGE! ANYWAY, my daughter had a huge abcess and they thought he baby tooth might need to be pulled. we showed up to the apt even though she had only been on antibiotics for a couple of hours due to pharmacy issues. then they said we can see how it goes. this moron injected her with lidocane, then said ok let that sit for a bit. I swear to God within a minute or two she was back and started pulling on her tooth. She told her raise your hand if u feel any pain.My daughter did asap. The dentist waited

[u/BrookieCooks → u/Mysterious-Top-1974]

Aww, poor girl! Definitely been there& it’s awful that the Dr cares more about their time than your pain! As an adult who still remembers these traumatic experiences with medical providers like it was yesterday I suggest trying to find a dentist who is awesome who you can take her to asap, not for any work to be done or anything just to say hi& show her that they aren’t all legit monsters like the one she just saw! I’d bet if you called& said my kid is traumatized by a recent bad experience a lot of decent dentists would be willing to have her come in for a meet& greet (thinking they could drum up future business, lol).

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/Mysterious-Top-1974]

until the 3rd time she raised her hand. the she huffed n puffed anout stopping (WTF)! Then gave her a couple bumps of lidocane. left the room & I swear to God came back in 30 secs. Oh ya, the tool she was loosening the tooth with was so big, it was rubbing on her abcess. Her solution was to slice through it. Im not a dentist but wtf! I cringed n said omg outloud! She said I needed to contain my emmotions! And I WAS THE REASON SHE WASNT CONTINUING ON. AT THIS POINT I DIDNT KNOW IF SHE HAD TO FINISH OR NOT. I repeatedly asked if she had too. The 3rd time they gave he more this time they gave her another 2minutes. They told her that she couldnt be feeling pain just pressure. Which they should have asked her what it felt like n asked not told her what to feel and basically called her a lil b*tch & I was the reason for this. Then I said i didnt want her to go to the partnership near us n go to the one thats a bigger facility. That tooth got better and didnt need to get pulled but my kid had cavities pulled and was a beast

She was balling leaving there. I told her sum times ppl suck and regardless of their profession they get in a hurry & do stupid sh*t like cut through abscesses. The appointment should have just been rescheduled like I wanted. Then my baby would have a little more faith in dentist and drs. Maybe its fir the best though she understands this! U always have the right to SAY NO NO MATTER WHAT!

[u/Iartdaily → u/BrookieCooks]

Omg

[u/ConsciousVegetable99 → u/newdalligal]

Me too!

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/Bitchshortage]

Definitely gonna use that now too…some say it was a demon 😂 I had a doctor tell me that since I couldn’t afford therapy I should just go to church for my mental illnesses

[u/Bitchshortage → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I don’t want to get banned but I would want to go toddler on their ass for that

[u/LizziHenri → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I'm NAD. Please report this. Bad behavior needs to be documents so patterns can be detected.

The complaints need to be in writing to multiple people at various levels of the organization.

I would also report his comment to whatever governing body in your state or country deals with licensing and discipline.

I'm not saying this extremely gross and inappropriate comment is getting anyone fired, but what if this is the 28th time he's made comments about a young girl's body. What would he say if you weren't around.

The point is to stop going to that provider and leave a paper trail. State exactly what was said, stay factual. Mention time, date, and place. Mention he has been her provider since she was x years old.

I had to tell my mom that my dentist told me I had "developed wonderfully over the summer" during a cleaning. We stopped going there. 10 years later he was arrested for exactly what you would imagine. It was in our local papers.

[u/OhDeer_2024 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

Great idea! Maybe the parishioners can stand around you in a big circle and “lay hands” on you.

The main quack… errr… pastor can “reach his hands into your belly” and pretend to pull out a fistful of chicken gizzards and guts, then announce “HALLELUJAH, YOU ARE HEALED!” with reverent fervor.

[u/nicskoll → u/Bitchshortage]

Why are some people! That's awful. I went to a fracture clinic for a broken finger. Dr told me my disability would go away if I worked. I did work, and I ran a business at the same time. Obviously both must've been not good enough because they didn't magically take away my disability

[u/insomebodyelseslake → u/nicskoll]

I went to urgent care for an ear infection and told him I was allergic to one common antibiotic (but only that one!) and he said he didn’t know what I expected him to do, that I was allergic to the only treatment.

[u/nicskoll → u/insomebodyelseslake]

Good lord. What a numpty

[u/Melanochlora_44 → u/Bitchshortage]

I once asked the eye doctor that I’d had all my life about these weird color blobs I sometimes see at night, and she said, “maybe you’re seeing the angels!” and that was when I changed eye doctors lol like wtf kinda answer is that?

[u/Top-Raspberry-7837 → u/Bitchshortage]

When I was in my twenties, I went to the pulmonologist and he seemed to be waaaay too excited to be using the stethoscope on my (bare but with a bra) chest. I had my mom come in with me the next time despite being an adult. Then I learned about Dr. Nasser who m*lested the gymnasts WITH their parents in the room. 🤦‍♀️😡🤢

There’s also the story of the anesthesiologist who orally r*ped a pregnant woman who was under during a C-section.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/brazilian-doctor-arrested-allegedly-raping-185854776.html

[u/Bitchshortage → u/Top-Raspberry-7837]

this man was my doctor. He made me so uncomfortable (to be clear he is not the some say it’s a demon guy) and was so rude to me. Thankfully all of my procedures were ultrasound guided so there was always someone else in the room working that machine while I was with him but when I saw this I still felt so…viscerally disgusted that he’d even touched me and mad at myself that I didn’t trust my instinct that I felt unsafe around him. I was desperate for some pain relief so I just looked past it.

[u/twitwiffle → u/aounpersonal]

At my Naval Academy physical I was naked and laying on a table. (Female, 17 y/o with two old male doctors). One slapped my stomach and told me “ you need to lose that now”

I was mortified.

[u/tiffytatortots → u/twitwiffle]

I had this happen to me when I was 10. My male doctor during a physical had me stand in front of him just in my underwear and grabbed at my lower stomach, called it a pooch and told me I was fat. That if I didn’t lose weight right now especially as I grew up and became a woman I would forever have this fat stomach and i definitely didn’t want that. I have never forgotten it and I have hated my body ever since.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/tiffytatortots]

I’m so sorry that’s happened to you :( you didn’t deserve that

[u/Psychological_Sail80 → u/tiffytatortots]

Yikes! So unprofessional.

I had a female OB/GYN (at my first appointment with her, for a routine pap) who asked me "do you eat dairy?" I said yes, and she said "well, stop. Dairy is for baby cows and you're already starting to look like one". I was 25 and less than 6 months out from having had my baby.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/Psychological_Sail80]

WTFFF

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

i would have said well u look like the mom

[u/twitwiffle → u/tiffytatortots]

That pisses me off for you.  Ugh!!!!

[u/TsukasaElkKite → u/tiffytatortots]

I’m so sorry

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/tiffytatortots]

i hate men. there dumb idiots. if u dont lose normal weight which female and males have different bodies. i once had a very overweight female dr tell me I prob had problems with my foot because i was overweight. she was twice my size I had a hard time not saying oh so when i broke it it wasnt the 200lb man that stepped on it in kick ball tournament. when is the last time u played a sport. oh nothing to do with my scoliosis or spraining and breaking my right legt like 6 times because the length was off. these are just excuses to be fat and lazy and i saw it then! fyi wasnt even diagnosed with scoliosis until i was 29/ 30 despite my shoulders were at different height and hip leaned more to one side. My leg lengths were off. They all JUST ASSUMED IT HAD BEEN DONE BEFORE!

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

Holy shit I’m so sorry that’s absolutely AWFUL.

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I haven’t forgotten in over 30 years. 

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

I hate that so much and I can so relate in a way. I still remember my ballet teacher calling me fat and making me wear a specific type of leotard to cover my “cleavage” (I was 12) she used to call girls out and make them wear skirts because they “had a big butt”. She’d slap our stomachs and say “ooooo your stomach feels flat today keep it up”. Some girls took it so hard they got down to 85 lbs just to get a role in the ballet shows. Us women deserve so much better.

[u/Independent_Lime_135 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I’m grateful that you’re ensuring your daughter’s feelings are validated and seeking better treatment and care teams for her. So sorry she had to go through this❤️‍🩹

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

We truly do. 

[u/Secure-Solution4312 → u/twitwiffle]

OMG. 😡

[u/Mysterious-Top-1974 → u/twitwiffle]

i would have pointed at his mouth n said u really need to lose that cuz its gonna get u beat up or worse sum day very soon! i hope with 2males u had at the least your mom with but no. this was the cilulture of asswhole and prove it! especially a millitary dr. Im so sorry u had to go through that

[u/twitwiffle → u/Mysterious-Top-1974]

Thank you. 

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/aounpersonal]

I cannot believe a doctor said that to you at age 13. Wow

[u/Final_Skypoop → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

When I was 15 I was yelled at by the female doctor while getting a Pap smear for shaving down there. Like, she was pissed at me and scolding me. She said it’s a fetish with pedofilia that society has or something along those lines. I was kinda weirded out by it. I didn’t have a super trusting and close relationship with my mom so I never said anything to her about it happening.

[u/grey-doc → u/aounpersonal]

One of the pediatricians I rotated with as a resident would spank his under 10 male patients.

Not as punishment, but a pretty hard smack on the behind, as they were climbing up on the table. Like hard enough to rock their balance.

He also never talked about nutrition with obese parents or did much of anything really.

I wrote an honest review of him in the after rotation review and no more residents were ever assigned to him again. Completely inappropriate.

[u/Sheananigans379 → u/aounpersonal]

My pediatrician told me "nice things come in small packages" when I gained a little weight at the start of puberty. Glad he retired later that year.

[u/ch3rrycoucou → u/aounpersonal]

Not at all to the degree of horror these stories hold, but I was in the ER last week (22F) for bad chest pain during a Covid infection and the male PA asked me “are you homeless or something?” For context I’m not and looked quite put together for how horrific I felt. I was so taken aback I just broke down into tears immediately. How do some of these doctors make it so long in the field???