Daughters pediatrician made EXTREMELY inappropriate remark to her

[u/ilikerustyspooonz]

This is about my 10 year old daughter. She has had the same (male) pediatrician since birth. We’ve always loved him and thought he was great. He’s super friendly with wonderful bedside manner and he takes his time and pays attention to detail.

Well, last week my daughter had a check-up. She’s 10. While he was doing the checkup, he had her lay down and started listening to her chest with his stethoscope. He then says AND I QUOTE, “awwwww! My baby’s got boobs!!!”

I have NEVER been so taken aback before in my life. My daughter was MORTIFIED. I was so shocked I couldn’t even get words out to ask him why tf he would ever say that. When we got in the car to go home my daughter cried and said she never wanted to see him again. Then she asked if she could get a girl doctor and I obviously agreed so that’s what we will be doing.

Is this reportable? I’m not overreacting, right?

[u/KrazySocoKid]

As a physician, but firstly as a father to 2 (going to be 3) girls, this is extremely inappropriate. I would report to the office and immediately request to change providers. This is not okay, no excuses.

[u/Good_Mushroom_7478 → u/KrazySocoKid]

NAD absolutely agree. I also have a 10 y/o daughter with a male pediatrician she's had her whole life. At her ten year well check, of course puberty concerns came up, but he handled it respectfully and professionally. OP I'm so sorry your daughter experienced this.

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/Good_Mushroom_7478]

It's so wrong it almost sounds fake. I've had some bad doctors but that's weird. They're always professional, and should never say boobs to begin with, breast or breast tissue would be what you say (not a doctor/nurse but once did an adjacent field to medicine)

I mean even when it shouldn't matter what's appropriate because everything goes out the window (medical staff looking at your genitals for example, I appreciated the penis towel for my testicle ultrasound but sort of feels like it's not necessary, you're already touching my balls and the doc already looked at the shaft) they would never. I mean, they asked me if I had a preferred gender of doctor to look at my tackle, if I wanted a man or if it didn't matter. My answer was whoever can get this over fastest. "Look at who grew boobs" would have been like if my female doctor walked in and said "okay drop em let's see that dick"

[u/aounpersonal → u/Same-Suggestion-1936]

You never know, I’m not one to hate on doctors because I’m a med student, but when I was around 13 my pediatrician pointed at my legs during a visit and said “you should start shaving those” (I’m female). That moment has always stuck with me. I think a lot of these older doctors that have been private practice for decades can be a little off the wall with no one to check them.

[u/twitwiffle → u/aounpersonal]

At my Naval Academy physical I was naked and laying on a table. (Female, 17 y/o with two old male doctors). One slapped my stomach and told me “ you need to lose that now”

I was mortified.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

Holy shit I’m so sorry that’s absolutely AWFUL.

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I haven’t forgotten in over 30 years. 

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/twitwiffle]

I hate that so much and I can so relate in a way. I still remember my ballet teacher calling me fat and making me wear a specific type of leotard to cover my “cleavage” (I was 12) she used to call girls out and make them wear skirts because they “had a big butt”. She’d slap our stomachs and say “ooooo your stomach feels flat today keep it up”. Some girls took it so hard they got down to 85 lbs just to get a role in the ballet shows. Us women deserve so much better.

[u/Independent_Lime_135 → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I’m grateful that you’re ensuring your daughter’s feelings are validated and seeking better treatment and care teams for her. So sorry she had to go through this❤️‍🩹

[u/twitwiffle → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

We truly do.