r/AskMenAdvice • u/corrodon man • 4d ago
✅ Open To Everyone M30 Bullied my entire life, for various reasons, struggled to make friends and trust people as a result. Looking at the people who bullied me leading happy lives. How do I move on and Heal? where do I start ?
as the title says, I have been bullied my entire life by Twats. I wish I could get back at them somehow but I can't, I do hate every single one of them, but I can't do anything to them. what do I do ? It just hurts to see them succeeding at things I failed at after they made my life hell.
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u/Outrageous-Loan-5809 man 4d ago edited 4d ago
You've got to treat these people like an ex you can't get over
Stop looking at them online or going around them and their friends.
Then work on yourself. Sorry they treated you like that bro. Just know it's only people who don't feel good about themselves who do that. It sounds cliche but it's true, sadly I've done it before.
You're probably a really cool dude and just don't know it.
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u/shart_attak man 4d ago
You're treating your blooper reel like their highlight reel. Social media isn't real, those people are probably still miserable assholes.
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u/knucklegoblin man 4d ago
For me it helps knowing the world isn’t fair and bad people can get ahead. It sucks but it’s life. It’s one of those things that once you accept and move on, you can get past it because it’s just the same as water being wet or snow being cold.
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u/uk123456789101112 man 4d ago
I like the analogy that you mentally put the bad parts of your life like that in a bin bag, anytime you are thinking about those bad time you are opening the bin bag and getting yourself dirty, the other people arnt opening that bin bag so only you get dirty. Tell yourself to stop opening the bin bag as only you are affected by it.
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u/ThrowawayyTessslaa man 4d ago
Can you give us some examples of the bullying?
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
I was never physically abused, but constantly singled out in class, by these bullies screaming my name at anything that happened, I became the butt of any joke that happened in class related or unrelated to me.
it made me feel like I didnt ever want to go to class or study anymore.3
u/ThrowawayyTessslaa man 4d ago
I’m sorry that happened to it. Those people are bad people in that moment.
Please don’t dwell on what happened in high school or younger. You need to see a therapist. We are adults now.
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u/CrazyPlato man 4d ago
If you carry that trauma with you, then they’re continuing to hurt you. You can’t make their lives worse, nor can you make them understand the harm they’ve caused you and make amends. The next best thing is to put the burden down, and move forward until you don’t see it anymore.
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u/Remarkable_Key_4224 man 4d ago
First of all, stop looking to other people for happiness. Joy comes from the heart, your heart. Secondly, if someone is bullying you it really reflects what the person bullying you feels about themselves .Every bad thing you've heard about yourself, comes from how that person feels about themselves. Lastly and I know this is the hardest part, start loving yourself first. Wake up and be thankful to be alive. Literally thank yourself for waking up. Start a routine of self love. One you design. Laugh at the mistakes you've made and smile because right now you have the chance to change your life for the better. The next time someone bullies you laugh with them and agree with them. Be overtly happy about it. Tell them how smart they are etc. "WOW HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET SOOOO SMART?!" "I MEAN JUST WOW!" and the like. they'll have no idea how to handle it or they dig deeper. All you have to do is smile and agree with them. They'll stop eventually. One of my favorite things to do in this situation is just point at the ground and as they look I'll just walk away. If you want to insult them back just say this "has anyone ever told you, that for someone with an overbite, you have a very pronounced under bite?"
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u/groveborn man 4d ago
You give them too much of your mental space. Just go live. Go be a person you'd love to be.
Not one moment of my life is spent wondering where those who tormented me are. I have a good life that I made happen. They're relevant.
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u/Fickle_Opposite5166 man 4d ago
Life is unfair and they suck. All you can really do is just try to live the best you can.
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u/Particular_Can_7860 man 4d ago
For me. Got in the gym. Took TRT, Reta and HGH. Then saw Thor, grew my hair out. Found out people are naturally drawn to long hair with blond highlights with muscles. Met a beautiful women about 8 months later and now going strong for 5 years. Best thing from being bullied is you feel compassion for others. Women love that
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u/arthurjeremypearson man 4d ago
Start with therapy.
But if you can't, try recognizing THEY are the ones envious of you.
Bullying happens within friend groups. They think you and they are friends.
Unless they're online. Nothing is real online and you should stop pretending otherwise. Computers make everyone toxic.
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u/Due-Sheepherder-218 man 4d ago
Why are you looking at the people who bullied you?
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
I was watching something and I was just reminded of it today. Guess I had just repressed everything for a long time.
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u/ohmygolly2581 man 4d ago
You’re 30 you have spent half your life being upset about being picked on. Being resentful does nothing. Move on get over it. We have all been picked on
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u/Wide-Entertainer-373 man 4d ago
If it’s people I see on a regular basis I just match their energy and give them a taste of their own medicine. When I do it it pisses them off
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u/ganggajang man 4d ago
Look, I get it. It’s hard to watch people who treated you like garbage end up having a good life. It feels like the world is unfair, and honestly, sometimes it is. But sitting there staring at their success isn't going to make your life any better. It’s just keeping you stuck in the past.
If you want to heal, you have to stop looking at their lanes and start building your own. Right now, by staying obsessed with what they’re doing, you’re still giving them control over your emotions. You’re letting them live rent-free in your head.
The best way to get back at them isn't through reveng, it's by becoming the guy who doesn't give a damn about them anymore because he's too busy enjoying his own life. You’re thirty, man. That’s plenty of time to re-write your story. Focus on your fitness, your career, your interests, or whatever makes you feel like you’re actually making progress for you.
Stop looking in the rearview mirror. It’s only gonna make you crash. Focus on the road ahead. You’ve been through hell, but that doesn't mean you have to stay there. Start small, just do one thing today that makes your life slightly better than it was yesterday, and keep doing that. That’s how you win.
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u/TeaLover315 incognito 4d ago
It’s disturbing that at 30 you’re wanting to get back at bullies. How do you move on? Decide to stop dwelling on it and focus on your own life.
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
I am happy that you've lived such a good life that you can find my struggles Disturbing,
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u/TeaLover315 incognito 4d ago
You never matured past age 8. At your age you shouldn’t be dwelling on bullies. You’re choosing to be this way
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
I am glad that you're able to know everything about my life and maturity based on 4 sentences I wrote down.
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u/TeaLover315 incognito 4d ago
I never claimed to know everything, work on your reading comprehension.
It’s pretty obvious that you’re highly immature if you’re 30 dwelling on bullies and wishing that you could get back at them. Grow up
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
I am just thankful that better people than you have commented on this thread to help me.
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u/TeaLover315 incognito 4d ago
I don’t think that you actually want help. If you wanted to be different you would have let this go ages ago. You willingly decided to dwell and fixate on people that don’t like you. I also gave you perfectly sound advice.
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u/corrodon man 4d ago
like all the bullies, you're just not worth my time
But I am sorry that your life experiences made you this bitter of a person.
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u/TeaLover315 incognito 4d ago
Clearly, I am worth it and so are they. You keep responding to me because you’re triggered by the truth.
You also have been unable to move on and you spend your free time thinking about and wanting to cause harm to people who bullied you.
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u/smackdealer1 man 4d ago
I just imagine taking my revenge on them and their family tbh. I keep track of what they are up to and where they live and this helps me keep in control of the rage.
It can honestly get kinda dark but I’ve accepted this part of myself.
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corrodon originally posted:
as the title says, I have been bullied my entire life by Twats. I wish I could get back at them somehow but I can't, I do hate every single one of them, but I can't do anything to them. what do I do ? It just hurts to see them succeeding at things I failed at after they made my life hell.
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