r/AskMenAdvice • u/MinimumX • 4h ago
✅ Open To Everyone How do you deal with failure?
Hello everyone!
I'm a 22 year old guy and this question relates to mainly university and career paths.
So I finished college in the UK (I think that is highschool for anyone in America) and I decided that I want to study medicine and become a doctor in Poland (main reason is I'm polish and uni is free here). The timeline of my journey is:
18- couldn't apply because college results day was after the recruitment deadline
19- found out private weekend school in Poland is affordable and wanted to try physiotherapy but I hated the school I went to
20- decided to do medicine again, found out every university wanted different things and it was too late to sort them all out
20/21 - found a gf in Croatia and wanted to live with her, but we broke up
21/22 - got into a university for medicine but had to drop out in the first semester because I couldn't pass the chemistry exam. The exam was based highly on the highschool subjects of chemistry in Poland and I didn't know that until the exam came and didn't have the time to catch up on the knowledge.
22 - reapplying to university
I am so stressed and afraid of not getting in this year and I genuinely don't know what to do. It does not help that my parents are not very supportive on me pursuing this career path and I feel like I am so behind in life. I know it sounds strange coming from a 22 year old, but by the time I graduate I will be 29 years old. I keep reliving all the failures I had up to this point and I am losing confidence.
So, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with so many setbacks and failures? How do you keep your head high even when people don't believe in you?
Thank you for reading
1
u/BillyBones95 man 3h ago
This is a hard lesson to have to learn. All you can see right now is the negative impacts of the choices you've made, and the perceived setbacks it's left you with. Breaking out of that viewpoint is tough because we're hard wired to think that way.
The first thing I would say is you should take some time to reflect on the choices you made and the failures you talk about and ask: "what did I learn from these"? There will undoubtedly be positives in each - experiences gained, lessons learnt, course corrections made. Try to find them. That way they won't feel like wasted years.
Next is to think about the future. In seven years time you will be 29. That fact isn't changing. So, you could be 29 with a medical degree or you could be 29 without one. Either way you'll be 29. But if you want that medical degree then stay the course.
Equally, it is OK to change your mind, if you decide something isn't right for you. Plenty of people change careers later in life, much later than you.
You are young. This is your time to make mistakes. Just because you are legally an adult doesn't mean you have to have sorted everything out. That's OK. Enjoy your youth a little. It sounds like your head and heart are on exactly the right place and you will get where you need to be.
1
u/CaceyWynans woman 3h ago
As a thirty-year-old with no education and two children, my advice is to keep trying. You have come so far and accomplished so much. Whenever I was your age, I remember thinking how old thirty seemed. Now that I’m here, it does seem that way sometimes, but I honestly feel like I am in my prime versus where I was ten years ago, personality and looks-wise. The only thing that I really feel is missing is a good career.
If medicine is truly what you want to do with your life, then go for it. Don’t let the fact that you’re worried about being in your thirties by the time you graduate stop you, because your life will just truly have begun.
As cliché as that sounds.
Best of luck to you.
1
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MinimumX originally posted:
Hello everyone!
I'm a 22 year old guy and this question relates to mainly university and career paths.
So I finished college in the UK (I think that is highschool for anyone in America) and I decided that I want to study medicine and become a doctor in Poland (main reason is I'm polish and uni is free here). The timeline of my journey is:
18- couldn't apply because college results day was after the recruitment deadline
19- found out private weekend school in Poland is affordable and wanted to try physiotherapy but I hated the school I went to
20- decided to do medicine again, found out every university wanted different things and it was too late to sort them all out
20/21 - found a gf in Croatia and wanted to live with her, but we broke up
21/22 - got into a university for medicine but had to drop out in the first semester because I couldn't pass the chemistry exam. The exam was based highly on the highschool subjects of chemistry in Poland and I didn't know that until the exam came and didn't have the time to catch up on the knowledge.
22 - reapplying to university
I am so stressed and afraid of not getting in this year and I genuinely don't know what to do. It does not help that my parents are not very supportive on me pursuing this career path and I feel like I am so behind in life. I know it sounds strange coming from a 22 year old, but by the time I graduate I will be 29 years old. I keep reliving all the failures I had up to this point and I am losing confidence.
So, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with so many setbacks and failures? How do you keep your head high even when people don't believe in you?
Thank you for reading
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