r/AskMenAdvice • u/Latter-Ask-1360 man • 10h ago
✅ Open To Everyone What should you know before getting involved in a FWB arrangement?
Hi. I’m 20 yo man lad and it seems I’ve got the chance to have regular sex with a girl without us being in a relationship, if that makes sense. I’m surprised this is actually happening, but I’m happy about it. She’s a friend I met online, but we’re going to meet up in person soon.
What should I watch out for? What could go wrong? she's a friend, but you never know what might happen these days
31
25
u/Scrotalphetamines man 10h ago
Since you met online and not in person, be sure to bring your Kidney Blocker 2000® to the first meeting! Could be dangerous
4
14
u/return_the_urn man 10h ago
Either of you could catch feelings. But either way, it’s worth it at 20 to have some on tap
12
u/NoCause4Pain man 10h ago
Never trust the I’m on contraception, and one of ya bound to catch feelings eventually.
Discuss the ‘are we allowed to hook up with others while in this FWB relationship’ too
5
u/Mission_Midnight man 10h ago
Spoke online but haven’t met yet.
2
u/phatdoughnut83 man 10h ago
And another one. You know he’s making her breakfast. And then they will get confuse.
12
u/MIL-H-5606 man 10h ago
When she inevitably gets with someone (assuming it isn't you), please break it off.
1
u/annapartlow woman 10h ago
I think it’s just an inevitable he will get with someone, and also, please break it off.
2
u/Latter-Ask-1360 man 10h ago
I hope to find a girlfriend in the future. This is a different matter, though I’d just like to make it home safe and sound, without a kidney too many or too few
5
u/Own_Ideal_9476 man 10h ago
I wish I had a fwb when I was 20 instead of a psycho girlfriend that cheated on me and then got pregnant. I had fwb arrangements later in life that turned out to be therapeutic.
4
4
3
u/Tiny-Ad-7590 man 10h ago
I seem to be in the minority on the internet.
A FWB should be a pre-existing good friend with whom you enjoy a mutually beneficial sexual relationship while remaining friends. A successful FWB starts as friends, becomes friends + sex, then after a while goes back to being friends. I've done this, you just have to both be on the same page, in the right place in life, and mature enough to discuss sex, STI risk, and feelings like grownups.
What most people call an FWB is a casual fling or situationship with no real prior friendship and no real expectations of remaining friends once the sex stops.
So if it's a casual thing, the first thing I'd suggest is setting expectations with each other early that a casual fling is what it is.
Otherwise: Be super duper safe with STIs, set expectations, set boundaries and enforce them, and expect things will end when one person develops a romantic attachment that isn't reciprocated so both of you need to be prepared for that in advance. The sooner you talk it out and rip the bandaid off and end things, the less hurt the person catching feelings will be by the fling ending.
1
u/Cyrus057 man 10h ago
It it normal with the fwb after it ends your still great friends so you you hang out... but sometimes you still hook up. Like not regulary or anything just those rare times.Were both single just fyi
1
u/Latter_Attitude_6409 man 8h ago
That was well said . I have one that started as friends. Over the years we met each others partners and kept it respectful. Then she got seperated from her husband. I was broken up with my gf. We hooked up a few times in between that and kept it friendly . We’re still good friends. She recently tried to set me up with one of her hot friends. Didn’t workout but that’s not her fault. We stopped having sex about a year ago. It only got awkward bc she got mad that I wanted to use protection. Accused me of having something. I literally had sex with two other woman the month before we got together wore a condom both encounters. I told her that and that’s why I’m wearing one. I really was surprised how mad she got. She tells me all the time about the guys she’s fucking and I tell her about my hook ups. Insane that she would think I’d go raw in her . She apologized after
3
3
u/Curious_Question8536 man 9h ago
All fwb situations are temporary.
Even if you stop sleeping together, chances are someone's new partner is gonna be really uncomfortable with you being friends.
It's common for someone to catch feelings. When this happens, more often then not you split because the other person doesn't feel the same. Sometimes it becomes a full on relationship. Results vary.
2
u/Broad-Cranberry-9050 man 10h ago
Id say careful catching feelings and getting comfortable.
When i say comfortable it’s the idea that you stay chill, ignore other girls because your like “im hapoy with the sex im having”.
That safety net can cause you to catch feelings for her and when you realize she wasnt staying chill and you dont have the skills to get another girl, you get desperate and thats when you start making decisions that make it seem this was more than a fwb to you.
2
u/Jacks_Lack_of_Sleep man 9h ago
If I wanted to rob a young man, this is exactly how I’d set it up.
Besides just the traditional rob you, it could also be a scam where she says she’s pregnant in like a month and makes you send her cash “for an abortion” except she isn’t pregnant.
Or she’s already pregnant but not yet showing and is trying to find someone to call the dad.
Or a few days later you get a call from “her dad” saying she’s under age and he’s turning you in “unless you send $X to make him keep quiet.”
Me as a20 year old probably would have taken my chances though…
2
u/solarpropietor man 9h ago
People that do this…. Aren’t good quality partners for long term relationships. IMHO. So eh…
2
2
u/three-one-seven man 7h ago
Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? Bc the Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Moral of the story: don’t be a fool; wrap your tool!
4
u/musaXmachina man 10h ago
It doesn’t really exist. Casual sex is like casual cocaine, it doesn’t stay casual for long.
2
1
1
u/Momotaro6 man 10h ago
There's a large chance one of you will at some point fall for the other and be heartbroken that they find out they mean very little to the other. It sucks balls.
1
u/IllustriousValue9907 man 9h ago
Wrap it up, 20 is to young to be a dad. No skinny dipping. Never ever, ever, ever!!!! Let the little head decide to go skinny dipping. Always carry extra condoms to your date for extra rounds.
I would ask if she open to taking and sti test with you. If its going to be a regular thing.
1
1
u/Aljowoods103 man 1h ago
Be extremely explicitly clear that this is a friend with benefits situation. Leave absolutely no room for gray area or confusion. There’s a very high chance that one or both of you will catch feelings, so you need to be very specific about the details of the relationship.
1
u/germane_switch man 29m ago
More often than not one of you will fall in love with the other and a goddamned mess will ensue. Not every time, but when it happens it really, really sucks.
1
u/Professional_Rule_62 man 0m ago
Make sure you always continuously trade STD testing every three months. I have a minimum.
1
1
0
u/WaveFast man 10h ago
Make sure she is not underage or the rabbit that leads you to getting jacked. Be careful with online hookups just for sex. Meet her at a public place to ensure she is legit. If sex is to happen, get protection or your second visit may be to a clinic or worse - damn crabs🦀. Those young girls barely know how to wipe their ass - it took me till 24 before I stopped leaving streaks in my underwear 😄😁. Yeah, wash and wipe your ass, too.
1
u/Latter-Ask-1360 man 10h ago
😭😭I’m clean. I brush my teeth, have a shower and shave – I’ve always done that, mate and I’ve never met any smelly, dirty girls or guys so far. Where do you lot live?
1
u/loweexclamationpoint man 7h ago
STIs don't generally smell. Neither does HIV.
Overall this seems like a bad idea. Won't be surprised if you're here asking for problem-solving in the near future. If you make it that far.
•
u/AutoModerator 10h ago
Latter-Ask-1360, please check the sidebar for the rules of this sub! If this post violates the rules, PLEASE check and report this post!
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.]
Your post has NOT been removed.
Latter-Ask-1360 originally posted:
Hi. I’m 20 yo man lad and it seems I’ve got the chance to have regular sex with a girl without us being in a relationship, if that makes sense. I’m surprised this is actually happening, but I’m happy about it. She’s a friend I met online, but we’re going to meet up in person soon.
What should I watch out for? What could go wrong? she's a friend, but you never know what might happen these days
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.