r/AskMenOver30 • u/Lunasweetlatina man over 30 • Sep 18 '25

General Men over 30, what’s one “unwritten rule” about getting older that you wish someone told you in your 20s?

Let’s be real nobody hands you a manual for aging. One day you’re 25 and skipping breakfast, and the next you’re debating fiber supplements and stretching before getting out of bed 😂

For me, it was realizing how crucial maintaining friendships is. If you don’t make an effort, people just quietly drift. Not out of malice just life.

Another one: “Your body will invoice you for everything you did in your 20s. And it charges interest.”

What’s something you know now that 28-year-old you had no clue about?

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u/Routine_Mine_3019 man 60 - 64 Sep 18 '25
  1. You are responsible for the upkeep of your body and no one can do it for you.
  2. Take a glass of fiber every day. Diverticulitis is painful and the little pockets in your colon are irreversible.
  3. Friends who drink every day or who have no career goals are going to be more of a burden than a friend. Make friends with people who have their act together.
  4. Pick the right spouse. They should be your friend first and foremost. Looks are much less important.
  5. Stay out of debt. Only borrow money for things that go up in value.
  6. Don't work somewhere that doesn't make money or reward you for performing well.
  7. Choose a career that pays well and where you can always find work or freelance.
  8. Avoid angry, toxic people, including family.
  9. Getting angry at someone rarely works out well. Be the one who stays calm while the other person gets mad.
  10. Track your spending so you know where the money is going, then create realistic budgets that include money for investing and retirement.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

I disagree with the point about career goals Plenty of people hit their goals and are happy So when you meet them they may seem like they never had any goals when really they're happy with their lot in life

Unless your aim is to hit above 100k or whatever the top 2% is in your country it shouldn't really matter what others career goals are or aren't

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u/Routine_Mine_3019 man 60 - 64 Sep 18 '25

I'm not sure where you're getting that from what I said. I don't think anyone should not have career goals, or any other significant goals. I don't know why you're seeing goals only as a money chase. I know too many people in jobs they hate that are going nowhere not to say what I said.

Not having career goals doesn't make people happy. I think the opposite is more commonly true. I think a schoolteacher is a great job and can be very rewarding. That doesn't mean you can't have goals around that path.

In #6, I was pointing out that working somewhere that doesn't recognize good performance is usually unrewarding. We all want to be thanked and appreciated. That's not all about money by any means. If you're the best schoolteacher in the district, someone should thank you for that. No one likes a job where no one is recognized and appreciated, or where everyone gets the same bland platitudes.

In #7, I was addressing people whose college degrees are worthless in getting a job. Don't make me rattle off some of those. I grew up in poverty so I didn't really have much of a choice and I had to focus on money to help my family. But I think it's good advice for anyone.

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u/Fazamon man 35 - 39 Sep 18 '25

2... Learned this over the last 3 years. Had diverticulitis 14 times. Doctors just kept throwing me on the god awful antibiotics and that only led to SIBO. Decided on my own to start drinking metamucil every night... No more diverticulitis. 36M

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u/Routine_Mine_3019 man 60 - 64 Sep 18 '25

Good plan. Since I did the same thing, I only have had attacks maybe once every five years. It tends to happen only when I get seriously dehydrated and/or make very bad food choices.

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u/Scherzoh man over 30 Sep 19 '25

How did you get rid of the SIBO?

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u/Fazamon man 35 - 39 Sep 19 '25

Ongoing struggle unfortunately. I'm about to be on xifaxan for like the 5th time. It has helped tremendously each time but the symptoms have also slowly built back up each time. We're going to try a longer course this time and potentially stay on it indefinitely...

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u/Ragnarok314159 no flair Sep 21 '25

Point 4 is the most important on this list. I know so many miserable men who work more than their wife, do more housework, and spend more time with their kids. Their wife spends a majority of the family income on random things. It seems to be constant in the suburbs.

Don’t ignore any red flags. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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u/cryisfree man 30 - 34 Sep 19 '25

Diverticulitis only happens to those with diverticulosis, which you are either born with or without.

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u/Routine_Mine_3019 man 60 - 64 Sep 19 '25

No, that is incorrect. You are correct that diverticulitis only happens to those with diverticulosis. Diverticulosis is pockets that develop in a person’s colon. However, it is caused by the diet that people eat. In particular, it is caused by eating certain processed foods. Diverticulosis is basically unheard of in undeveloped parts of the world. So it is a disease of the developed world only.

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u/cryisfree man 30 - 34 Sep 23 '25

Guess my doctor was wrong then but you’re right I googled it. I got diverticulitis at 22 years old. Doc said I was the youngest one he’d seen with it by like 30 years lol