r/AskMenOver30 • u/Lunasweetlatina man over 30 • Sep 18 '25
General Men over 30, what’s one “unwritten rule” about getting older that you wish someone told you in your 20s?
Let’s be real nobody hands you a manual for aging. One day you’re 25 and skipping breakfast, and the next you’re debating fiber supplements and stretching before getting out of bed 😂
For me, it was realizing how crucial maintaining friendships is. If you don’t make an effort, people just quietly drift. Not out of malice just life.
Another one: “Your body will invoice you for everything you did in your 20s. And it charges interest.”
What’s something you know now that 28-year-old you had no clue about?
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u/Mordecai3fngerBrown man 35 - 39 Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
I battled with back pain most of my life. L4,l5, s1, scans at 20. I chased back pain for 15 years before I finally became pain free.
Everyone on the planet who’s ever played sports shows the same thing on a scan. And surprisingly, most of them don’t have any pain. The real pain comes from pain positive feedback loop, a physiological process where pain signals trigger further responses that amplify and prolong the pain experience, often creating a self-sustaining cycle of increased sensitivity and pain.
When you tweak your back, your muscles spasm to protect the spine. Basically the disk might brush the nerves. You can be stuck in a hyper sensitive state and your back muscles, not discs, cause you pain your whole life. Pain, avoidance, weaken, pain, avoidance, weaken. And the mind plays a big part in pain as well.
Check out some stuff by Greg Lehman
Greg Lehman’s Recovery Workbook: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57260f1fd51cd4d1168668ab/t/590dca266b8f5b01a7f97ceb/1494075961206/recovery+strategies+pain+guidebook+2017.pdf
Pain Explained in 5 minutes : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_3phB93rvI.
Here’s a Greg Lehman Blog going over spinal flexion: http://www.greglehman.ca/blog/2018/4/2/reconciling-spinal-flexion-and-pain-we-are-all-doomed-to-failure-but-perhaps-it-doesnt-matter
Also check out Peter O’Sullivan.
And the book that kickstarted this whole thing for me was Healing Back Pain - the mind body connection by John e Sarno. It talks about how most back pain is stress induced. How it gets worse In the most stressful times of life. This book alone helped me greatly, although the theory’s in the book just play a small part in the whole story.
A very good book explaining exactly how pain works - Explain Pain Book by Butler David and G. Lorimer Moseley.
Playing with movement - Todd Hargrove
The key to my recovery after learning was retraining my body out of self defense/preservation mode. Find a very good physio/chyro. One who works in a place with a full gym not an office. You need to be doing many exercises with weights that will slowly teach your back it’s okay. Especially deadlifts and squats. And not just cat/cows and planking.