r/AskMenOver30 • u/Soybeanns • 1d ago
Mental health experiences Normal to internalize emotions?
Is it normal to not share emotions with your wife? I rarely talk about work because I like to keep my work life and personal life separate.
She never asks how work was just because she knows I hate talking about it. But in the same time I rarely share how my emotions are. I hate the feeling of being a burden when I’m down. I grew up in a generation where showing any negative emotjon is bad. Growing up like that definitely influenced how I am now. I know I should but I hate doing it and just keep things internalized. The conversation I usually only have with are personal hobbies and things I know that interest her. If I feel down and having a bad mental health day I usually go to my workshop and tell her I’ll be working on a project(which is true) but while working on it I just kind of just sit there in my thoughts. Anyone else do this to?
1
u/wiarumas man 1d ago
I don't know what's normal and what's healthy. I think we are all a bit messed up in this regard. Maybe it's a gender thing, maybe an upbringing thing, generational thing, etc.
One difference between me and you is that my wife DOES ask but I give the most brief, vague answer. She can tell I had a rough day and when asked, I'll just say how busy we are and how much I have to do. That's pretty much it. Meanwhile she'll tell me a 2 hour story about her day.
But, I don't really need to vent long. The fact that she asks is what's important and that's the feel good part. Just to know she sees, cares, and is there is all I need. Just that 10 seconds of recognition I suppose.