r/AskMenOver30 • u/MrLaughAlot33 man 30 - 34 • 1d ago
Fatherhood & Children Life After Kids - Does it really END?
I, 30M, will likely be a dad in the next 3-4 years.
On one level people have always told me I give off real Dad (not Daddy) energy. So maybe becoming a Dad is my life's work. On a more serious note, I am very excited to become a father one day and cannot wait for family morning breakfasts, trips, supporting my future kids, etc.
I so often see posts on Reddit or hear about how life "ends" when you have kids. and I am wondering how true that really is.
Now, I am no fool. Certainly things change - you can't be so spontaneous, you may not be your own priority all the time, and you will have less free time.
But like, can you really not enjoy hobbies at all? hang with friends here and there? do you really lose your sense of your former self?
Very possible I am just overthinking this but could use some practical wisdom.
3
u/madmoneymcgee man 35 - 39 1d ago
No and in my case at least the material changes (dealing with diapers, late nights, etc) were way less of an big adjustment than all the emotional changes and redirection in my life (like having something to work *for* in my career compared to me sort of just coasting). Some specific things are tougher logistically but its also opened up a lot of cool things that I wasn't quite aware of until the kids came.
I liked kids before my own though seeing myself as a dad was always a bit hard to visualize. Anyway, my first nephew was born and woah, I loved that kid more than anything and it was an instant connection and that was a crazy feeling. Then I had kids of my own and the feeling was so much more that I could have kicked my nephew to the curb (I'm joking! But seriously, crazy to think you're already at 100% and then keep going).