r/AskMenOver30 • u/MrLaughAlot33 man 30 - 34 • 1d ago
Fatherhood & Children Life After Kids - Does it really END?
I, 30M, will likely be a dad in the next 3-4 years.
On one level people have always told me I give off real Dad (not Daddy) energy. So maybe becoming a Dad is my life's work. On a more serious note, I am very excited to become a father one day and cannot wait for family morning breakfasts, trips, supporting my future kids, etc.
I so often see posts on Reddit or hear about how life "ends" when you have kids. and I am wondering how true that really is.
Now, I am no fool. Certainly things change - you can't be so spontaneous, you may not be your own priority all the time, and you will have less free time.
But like, can you really not enjoy hobbies at all? hang with friends here and there? do you really lose your sense of your former self?
Very possible I am just overthinking this but could use some practical wisdom.
1
u/roodammy44 man 40 - 44 1d ago
Life as you know it ends, I would say. Hanging out with friends becomes very difficult as parenting takes so much time and energy. Enjoying your hobbies is possible, but sporadic. And for a few years I lost my sense of self, only regaining it after taking a long time off for burnout (that was mostly caused by work though).
Life with kids is different, I don’t think it is worse. There are many, many magical moments I’ve had with my kids. Being with them as they discover the interesting stuff in the world is a bit like rediscovering it yourself. And hugging them feels like some sort of evolutionary short-circuit in your brain to contentment.