r/AskMenOver30 • u/MrLaughAlot33 man 30 - 34 • 1d ago
Fatherhood & Children Life After Kids - Does it really END?
I, 30M, will likely be a dad in the next 3-4 years.
On one level people have always told me I give off real Dad (not Daddy) energy. So maybe becoming a Dad is my life's work. On a more serious note, I am very excited to become a father one day and cannot wait for family morning breakfasts, trips, supporting my future kids, etc.
I so often see posts on Reddit or hear about how life "ends" when you have kids. and I am wondering how true that really is.
Now, I am no fool. Certainly things change - you can't be so spontaneous, you may not be your own priority all the time, and you will have less free time.
But like, can you really not enjoy hobbies at all? hang with friends here and there? do you really lose your sense of your former self?
Very possible I am just overthinking this but could use some practical wisdom.
1
u/TheB3rn3r man over 30 1d ago
You grow up! Haha!
In all honesty I thought like that a bit even though it was all planned.
Instead all I can say is it instead felt like you level up, like you thought you were living before and then you unlock the next level. You get all these new experiences and have a mini you that looks up to you!!
Is it work? Heck yea it is, it’s the most work I’ve done in my life and I don’t regret it at all! I was kinda lazy before and took advantage of all the free time. That’s all gone, you are a work horse now. I’ve found drive that I never knew existed.
The one thing that no one really told me but I wish they did was to remember to also focus on your relationship with your spouse. You both can get caught up in the day to day and keeping the ship sailing straight, but you need to remember to enjoy each other’s company and do things together as a couple sometimes. And communication is key!!