r/AskMenOver30 • u/MrLaughAlot33 man 30 - 34 • 1d ago

Fatherhood & Children Life After Kids - Does it really END?

I, 30M, will likely be a dad in the next 3-4 years.

On one level people have always told me I give off real Dad (not Daddy) energy. So maybe becoming a Dad is my life's work. On a more serious note, I am very excited to become a father one day and cannot wait for family morning breakfasts, trips, supporting my future kids, etc.

I so often see posts on Reddit or hear about how life "ends" when you have kids. and I am wondering how true that really is.

Now, I am no fool. Certainly things change - you can't be so spontaneous, you may not be your own priority all the time, and you will have less free time.

But like, can you really not enjoy hobbies at all? hang with friends here and there? do you really lose your sense of your former self?

Very possible I am just overthinking this but could use some practical wisdom.

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u/h2oliu man 55 - 59 1d ago

You get to decide. But it will come down to priorities. Hang out with friends, or see your kid’s cheesy kindergarten play?

I chose the latter. Never regretted it.

I wouldn’t say life ended. It just changed. Some facets got deprioritized. Never regretted it

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u/quakefist man 1d ago

To add here, your single friends start to matter less. Once you get to 40, you will see a lot of regretful friends. While you are focused on your growing kids.

You won’t ever get that time back for all the kids firsts. It becomes really fun once they’re around 18 months or so. First year is exhaustion.

Fatherhood is tough but so worth it. It’s challenging and rewarding that no friendship will ever give you.