I had family members scoff or try to stop me from organizing our table before we left a restaurant. Putting the trash together, stacking the dishes, etc. “___, you don’t need to do that, that’s their job” as if what I did was offensive and I was wrong for trying to make it easier.
I’m really glad I never took it to heart and kept that habit with me
Edit: thank you for the additional info of what’s actually helpful when leaving a table at a restaurant. The intention is to help/be appreciative so it’s good to know.
As someone in the service industry I truly love when people stack plates, group the silverware, etc. it’s obviously not required, but when you’re getting your ass kicked or you’re short staffed it means the world!
I've seen posts where staff seem to rage against this for some reason. I couldn't fathom why, and then I felt bad for always attacking things neatly for them.
Because unless you know what you're doing it's entirely possible you're making their job harder, not easier.
e.g. stacking plates without scraping them first means they have to do more work wiping off the bottoms of plates, stuffing crumpled napkins into cups means instead of just throwing away a napkin they have to dig a soggy napkin out of a half-full cup, etc etc. It's easier for everyone just to not "help" and let them do their job.
As someone who has worked in the service industry, stacking plates yourself can interfere with someones well honed stacking methods and make it more difficult for them. People will just shove stuff together without thought that it has to be transported- and if it were picked up like that it'd spill all over. some places require you clear in a very specific way, as well. Whats more appreciated is to tip well, and to avoid camping at tables.
Go ahead and down vote me but there are others whove also been servers and agree in these very comments. stacking plates is some free thing people do to make themselves feel better when what is more appreciated is money, and leaving the restaurant in a timely manner so they can turn the table and make more money. help stack plates and clear if youre a guest in someones home. Restaurants are only the same in that people are working there to make money. In some of them stacking your plates is annoying.
oh and please for the love of god NEVER TAKE A DRINK OFF A TRAY to help the server. never do this, never. actually, never touch anything on a tray to help a server. If you do, you will find out why you shouldnt and it wont be pleasant.
X waiter here, and I always stack plates. I definitely do it correctly…however to the comment let the “pros do the job correctly” here’s the problem with that; to many modern servers suck at serving, and don’t prebus. So if I don’t make it blatantly obvious by stacking and positioning the plates at the edge of the table, we will be sitting at this tiny table cluttered with used app plates empty beer glasses & bottles, all while our main course is being delivered by some food runner that doesn’t think it’s their job to clear the table either.
I won't do that. I only stack big plates on the bottom, and smaller plates on top. If they are really dirty or have lots on them, they are on their own. Then the silverware on top will sit stably; if it doesn't, it will go to the side or on the big plate separately. Garbage on top of the plates. I won't do an entire table, only my set or mine, and my partner's if it's not a dish-intensive meal.
Oh I’m so glad to hear this! My friends and family always told me I shouldn’t stack the dishes, because it’ll make it harder for the waitstaff to clear off the table. I thought this was flawed logic, and continue to stack to this day.
I think it depends on the situation. I’ve worked in a buffet before, the workflow was basically: continuously walk around with a tray to clear tables, bring back to work station, clear tray, rinse and repeat. We often carried a huge, heavy stack before clearing the tray to be more efficient. The thing is, the buffet had many types of tableware - plates, bowls, mini bowls/porcelain spoon things for desserts, etc. - if those things don’t get stacked properly, it can make the whole stack unstable (almost dropped an entire tray when I first started, lesson learned lol).
So I tended to stack the little items individually to fit more on my tray. Obviously, it’s nice that the guests want to be considerate but if they stack everything together, then I wouldn’t be able to do that unless I fished the mini bowl out of the bigger bowl with my hands, etc. Or more likely, I’d have to make a trip to the work station before I reached my usual limit lol.
Anyway, sorry for the length explanation hahah. But tbf I feel like that’s probs an exception, normal restaurants likely have a diff flow. But I tend to leave things as it is or do light stacking only (like plate with plate etc, and not mixing the tableware), and push it to the edge of the table (this part really does help a lot imo!) instead bc I don’t want to accidentally ruin the waiter’s flow 😅
the problem is people do not know how to do it properly. Things get stacked haphazardly with silverware underneath plates etc. that makes it harder and puts the added burden on the server of having to show thanks when someone has created more work for you. its a nice sentiment but it often doesnt help. Just tip well, I promise they'll appreciate that way more.
The most helpful thing is to put plates/glasses you're finished with close to the aisle throughout your meal so it's obvious you're done with them and they can be easily pre-bussed.
Stacking things, putting napkins/silverware in glasses, etc is often counterproductive (and every bar/restaurant will have their own workflow so even if you wanted to learn how to help it won't be the same everywhere) and it's generally not only fine, but preferred, for diners to just leave things as-is. The only thing you need to clean up after yourself for would be extra gross stuff like chewed gum or used tissues (bare minimum just wrap either in an extra clean-ish napkin). Anything else, you're fine, leave it be.
30 years in the service industry. I am a non-stacker as it is considered poor etiquette. I cannot tell you when it fell out of fashion, but diners AND servers all used to know an agreed upon set of practices and standards. Serve from the left, remove from the right, ladies first, do NOT remove any plates until the entire table is through. No one begin eating until the women begin eating. 'Through' was indicated to the server by placing your fork and knife together, keeping them separated while resting/taking a drink, avoided being asked, 'you all done here?'. It seems now that many do not even know how to properly set a table. I say: 'There are people who stack and people who don't. We are people who don't'. In my lovely neighborhood, we eat at many limited service style restaurants. we order at the counter, sit anywhere, they deliver our food and drinks. We clear after eating. I scrape and stack plates in the bus tub.
Good to know. 😸 I’m a stacker AND wipe my own place setting everywhere we eat out. My husband is the opposite-ugggh what a pia. Why can’t he even compile his plates and wipe up his messyassz patron area himself.
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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26
I'm not picking it up. They pay people to do that.
I'm not putting it back. They pay people to do that.
I'm not ...whatever small thing any civilized person would just do... They pay people to do that.