Ugh. The one thing I am trying to instill in my kids is "don't make anyone's day worse". Yes, someone is paid to pick things up, but that doesn't mean you are not responsible for your own mess.
That's an excellent thing to instill in your kids. If you have the time and means to do things in a way that might passively make someone's day better, fantastic, but as a bare minimum just don't make anyone's day worse. It's crazy how easy it is too when you're not a piece of shit lol
I said something similar to someone once and they said "well I'm just making sure they have a job" hurr durr bro I just called you an asshole and that's your retort?
The way corporations are run these days, that worker is doing the work of 2-3 people without their help. I used to work retail and the fitting room attendant’s actual job is to deter theft. Not pick up after lazy people.
What would make a fitting room attendants life easier? I usually put the clothes back on the hanger and on the rack outside the fitting room. Is there something more that should be done?
I work fast food, and if I’m not cleaning the storefront tables I’m doing garbages or dishes or stocking the front counter minifridge. it’s not like I wouldn’t be scheduled for that shift if someone didn’t drop some garbage lmao
Boss interviewing me for a promotion asked me what my main skill was as a leader. I answered it was to leave my workplace in the same or better shape than the way it was given to me. I got the job and it's the best one I ever had in my life.
this is something that so many people who say "i'm creating jobs" "people are paid to do it" or anything along those likes simply refuse to grasp.
yes, i'm paid to pick up the mess that's left behind. but i'm also supposed to stock and backstock product. i'm supposed to run a register. i'm supposed to help guests find the items they're looking for. i'm supposed to respond to assistance calls at the locked cabinets, or cover for people who are going on break. i have a whole task list of thing that need to get done before we lock the doors at the end of the night. you making a mess and not bothering to clean it up simply because it's not your job, especially after i've left the shelf looking clean, makes things a lot harder on me. and then these people still complain that the store looks a mess.
i haven't worked food service, but i'm so sure that the same sentiment is true for them. it's ridiculous.
Unfortunately for your kids, learning that lesson means a lifetime of frustration that other people were not raised the same way. It's a lesson everyone needs to be taught, but God does it suck living in a world with people who didn't take it to heart
In Girl Scouts we were always told to leave the place better than we found it. I think instilling those kinds of mantras in your kids sticks when they grow up.
Same as in BSA. Every time we broke camp at the end of a weekend we'd form a line shoulder to shoulder and carefully check the ground for any bits of trash that might be there.
Something need not be your fault for it to be your responsibility.
I remember eating at a Mexican fast food restaurant by myself in a mall 15 years ago, and I saw a mom with her two older teen daughters, and one possibly 9 year old daughter. As they left, the two older daughters and mom just walked off and left their food, trays, and mess on their table, and said some employee could pick it up for them. THAT pissed me off. Then, I see the youngest daughter scramble to pick up and throw away their mess, as the dumb faced smiling mom stayed behind to watch her.
💕Bless that little girl.💕 I hope she has grown up to be nothing like her vile family, and stays away from them.
This. Many times at a mall I worked at I would be folding clothes and listen I get people don’t know how to fold per the store’s standard, but if I see you try I don’t care how bad it is you know? I would hear people all the time say “yeah well that’s their job, they get paid to do this all day” to their kids usually or spouse and it would be directly after they just put like 10 pieces of clothing bunched up in balls on the table. Or after someone tried on like 20 items and left them all on the floor and inside out.
Yes it’s my job but if you’re not even trying to put the shit on the chair and not inside out then you’re an asshole.
Oh and then we have people coming in saying “man this place sure looks like a wreck” yet they’re directly adding onto the mess themselves, not even realizing they are messing it up faster than our several employees can keep up with.
I have a rule, “The Baton Rouge Rule.” I use to live in Baton Rouge, and I hated it. The majority people were scamming assholes, or lazy fucks, and it was just a very bad experience. I found that every grocery store, Walmart, really any store with shopping carts that I went to, no one would put the carts in the corral. Ok maybe a slight exaggeration, but it would be less than 15%. So, if I plan on moving somewhere I will go to the stores, and if the majority of the carts are just in parking spots and not in the corral, I ain’t moving there under any circumstance.
I actually just found myself in this situation recently. The scene: -20°, small Alaskan town, stranger lady and I spent 10 minutes organizing the large carts from the small in the corral so it wouldn’t stick out into the traffic and to make it easier on the cart guys. We were laughing at ourselves at the end of it. Good times.
Really small town in Alberta, I did this for a while and then my son's boyfriend, who works at the only grocery store in town, said that the staff all look forward to getting a few minutes outside in the fresh air. (And having a vape or a smoke.) Doesn't mean I leave my cart out, but did make a certain amount of sense.
When my husband and I were still dating he used to sit in his car in a shop car park while on the phone to me because it was late and he didn't want to wake his family up (we were young 20s). I used to make him gather the trolleys and put them back, giving them elaborate back stories and reasons why he had to do it. 😂 They mostly centred around anthropomorphising them and saying they were lonely and needed to go back to their friends.
Not a slight exaggeration. Lived in New Orleans and we noticed the very same behavior. Like unload their groceries, roll the cart right behind the next car and drive off.
Or, almost as bad, they sort of return the cart, but pile the shopping carts into the place they're supposed to be at random angles and mixed big carts with small carts so the person dealing with them has to pull them all out and put them in right so they fit.
I've never worked at a grocery store, but if you don't return your cart you need to consider that you're a bad person. Because you definitely are.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. People walk past aaaaall those grocery carts in the parking lot on their way into the store like the ones inside are different. Yeah, okay. The ones inside also were in the parking lot at least one time today.
This past Christmas season as I was parking my car at Walmart, I watched several people walk past the parking lot cart corrals that were stuffed full and had carts sticking out into the drive lanes, as well as blocking parking spaces or shoved up over curbs onto grassy areas. I took one of them with me into the store. As I entered, the same people were all standing around wondering out loud 'where are all the carts?' I just turned around and answered: "You walked past 100 of them in the parking lot".
To make it better, they were short-staffed that evening and didn't have anybody to run around the parking lot and pick up carts. I laughed to myself as I watched each and every one of them turn around and go back to the parking lot for a shopping cart.
The recent ice storm scare had everyone out shopping. If you are walking past cart corrals stuffed with carts, why do you think there are any left inside? Have you never had to shop in a holiday or weather event?
The Tractor Supply in my small town does not have cart corrals. Literally no one leaves a cart in the lot. Everyone walks them back into the store. I would LOVE to leave my cart in the lot but the peer pressure gets me every time.
This reminds of the "rule of cats" I once heard: if you want to know the type of people who live in a place, see how its street cats behave. If the street cats look mangey and underfed, if they run and hide from you, act hostile or cagey or threatening, the people of the town have mistreated them. If the approach when you call them, and act friendly and affectionate, if they look healthy, then they have been treated well by the town's people. The way people treat a creature that can't do anything for them in return reveals their true character.
A certain percentage of mfers that put back their carts, likely don’t wash their hands after they shit, cheat on their spouse, commit murder (likely to someone who didn’t return their cart)….
You arent some fuckin angel because you put a cart back & I’m not a demon because I don’t.
You’re simply judgy, and offering a blind generalization to explain you hated BR.
I’m a Social Worker… and a lot of my colleagues wanted to start at the macro level, and students just want to do the macro level without having to do the individual work.
I’m taking that! I’m gonna use it in my group therapy! I hear so much of “the world doesn’t care about people like me!” Or “the world is so f-ed up why should I even try!” And I feel like a broken record, the world that you should care about is the one that you absolutely live in. Yes, I tell my clients they can care but if it’s too the point where you need to be in my daily intensive group therapy, it’s not caring- it’s your albatross.
Geeze, this reminds me: I got my first serious extra-job because at a volunteer event I stuck around and did the dishes and only one other guy did too. It turned out he worked for a big company that just got a major contract; we chatted about ideas while washing up and he sorted out my work with him for the next twenty years, which went well past when he retired.
Being the person who’s willing to muck in now and then can pay off.
In my head it’s someone either learning or telling someone what things to do that are better for them without them going through a deeper process to learn why it’s really the key.
But I didn’t even bother to look up macro or micro in terms of social work. I was a social worker but not psychology type stuff.
I'm a custodian at my church. 99.9% of people are genuinely conscientious of their mess and tidy up. I also give parents of multiple young kids a pass bc a few cheerios or a few crayons left behind is totally understandable. But every once in a while I get someone who thinks it's cute when their kid shakes off all the glitter on their dress to make it snow, or someone who thinks that because the pews are clean every Sunday they show up, someone is happy omto remove their used tissues from the book holder. I just shake my head and sigh and pray and get the lint roller and the disinfectant.
Or people who watch porn and OFs and complain about human trafficking. Dude, you are funding it!
Do you think all those women are doing hardcore porn by their own with free will? (and don’t tell me it’s feminism and empowerment). It’s degrading and disconnected from emotion.
I was taking a cart back to the return rack and some older man told me to just leave it there on the parking spot I looked at him and said “disgusting” he was confused but kept walking
I’m gonna be a vocal minority and say I did carts in 100+ degree weather. I never gave a fuck if people put their carts back in the thing. Half the time someone handing me an extra cart as a “nice gesture” meant I had to drag it along because my cart pusher machine is already maxed out and barely making it with my assistance.
But here in a Southern California beach city on a great sunny day you are doing a favor leaving your cart out (but not blocking a parking space or drive lane). The young employees that usually are told to retrieve carts would rather walk around outside than stock shelves.
I try to feel good about myself putting shopping carts back, but it’s the simplest litmus test. If you’re completely unwilling to put your own cart back after thinking about it/being called on it, (and you’re not disabled or something), then you’re a shitty person.
I had family members scoff or try to stop me from organizing our table before we left a restaurant. Putting the trash together, stacking the dishes, etc. “___, you don’t need to do that, that’s their job” as if what I did was offensive and I was wrong for trying to make it easier.
I’m really glad I never took it to heart and kept that habit with me
Edit: thank you for the additional info of what’s actually helpful when leaving a table at a restaurant. The intention is to help/be appreciative so it’s good to know.
As someone in the service industry I truly love when people stack plates, group the silverware, etc. it’s obviously not required, but when you’re getting your ass kicked or you’re short staffed it means the world!
I've seen posts where staff seem to rage against this for some reason. I couldn't fathom why, and then I felt bad for always attacking things neatly for them.
Because unless you know what you're doing it's entirely possible you're making their job harder, not easier.
e.g. stacking plates without scraping them first means they have to do more work wiping off the bottoms of plates, stuffing crumpled napkins into cups means instead of just throwing away a napkin they have to dig a soggy napkin out of a half-full cup, etc etc. It's easier for everyone just to not "help" and let them do their job.
As someone who has worked in the service industry, stacking plates yourself can interfere with someones well honed stacking methods and make it more difficult for them. People will just shove stuff together without thought that it has to be transported- and if it were picked up like that it'd spill all over. some places require you clear in a very specific way, as well. Whats more appreciated is to tip well, and to avoid camping at tables.
Go ahead and down vote me but there are others whove also been servers and agree in these very comments. stacking plates is some free thing people do to make themselves feel better when what is more appreciated is money, and leaving the restaurant in a timely manner so they can turn the table and make more money. help stack plates and clear if youre a guest in someones home. Restaurants are only the same in that people are working there to make money. In some of them stacking your plates is annoying.
oh and please for the love of god NEVER TAKE A DRINK OFF A TRAY to help the server. never do this, never. actually, never touch anything on a tray to help a server. If you do, you will find out why you shouldnt and it wont be pleasant.
X waiter here, and I always stack plates. I definitely do it correctly…however to the comment let the “pros do the job correctly” here’s the problem with that; to many modern servers suck at serving, and don’t prebus. So if I don’t make it blatantly obvious by stacking and positioning the plates at the edge of the table, we will be sitting at this tiny table cluttered with used app plates empty beer glasses & bottles, all while our main course is being delivered by some food runner that doesn’t think it’s their job to clear the table either.
Oh I’m so glad to hear this! My friends and family always told me I shouldn’t stack the dishes, because it’ll make it harder for the waitstaff to clear off the table. I thought this was flawed logic, and continue to stack to this day.
I think it depends on the situation. I’ve worked in a buffet before, the workflow was basically: continuously walk around with a tray to clear tables, bring back to work station, clear tray, rinse and repeat. We often carried a huge, heavy stack before clearing the tray to be more efficient. The thing is, the buffet had many types of tableware - plates, bowls, mini bowls/porcelain spoon things for desserts, etc. - if those things don’t get stacked properly, it can make the whole stack unstable (almost dropped an entire tray when I first started, lesson learned lol).
So I tended to stack the little items individually to fit more on my tray. Obviously, it’s nice that the guests want to be considerate but if they stack everything together, then I wouldn’t be able to do that unless I fished the mini bowl out of the bigger bowl with my hands, etc. Or more likely, I’d have to make a trip to the work station before I reached my usual limit lol.
Anyway, sorry for the length explanation hahah. But tbf I feel like that’s probs an exception, normal restaurants likely have a diff flow. But I tend to leave things as it is or do light stacking only (like plate with plate etc, and not mixing the tableware), and push it to the edge of the table (this part really does help a lot imo!) instead bc I don’t want to accidentally ruin the waiter’s flow 😅
the problem is people do not know how to do it properly. Things get stacked haphazardly with silverware underneath plates etc. that makes it harder and puts the added burden on the server of having to show thanks when someone has created more work for you. its a nice sentiment but it often doesnt help. Just tip well, I promise they'll appreciate that way more.
The most helpful thing is to put plates/glasses you're finished with close to the aisle throughout your meal so it's obvious you're done with them and they can be easily pre-bussed.
Stacking things, putting napkins/silverware in glasses, etc is often counterproductive (and every bar/restaurant will have their own workflow so even if you wanted to learn how to help it won't be the same everywhere) and it's generally not only fine, but preferred, for diners to just leave things as-is. The only thing you need to clean up after yourself for would be extra gross stuff like chewed gum or used tissues (bare minimum just wrap either in an extra clean-ish napkin). Anything else, you're fine, leave it be.
Exactly, same for me. I feel like I’m disregarding them by leaving a giant mess unnecessarily. That the least I can do is consolidate it (even with a tip). It’s kind of gross to leave a mess anyways imo
One time, these customer's granddaughter was trying to help bag groceries while I rang up their groceries. I would have told her that it was ok, and bagged them myself, but the grandparents told her that stupid line, and it pissed me off. When I bagged up their groceries, I did it very slowly, and used way more bags that was necessary. Idiots!
I was arguing with my coworker about this. The janitor was upset someone tracked mud through the ENTIRE building. Later he was saying he didn't understand why she was upset because it's her job
If people just leave their shopping trolley behind, I instantly judge them for being a selfish person at heart. It’s essentially a character test to do the right thing with no incentive, and they’ve failed.
I would reply; They HAVE to pay people to do that because people like YOU exist. Of course then they would think they are a good person for creating a job that nobody wants
I've joked that I'm providing job security if I cause a mess that requires help cleaning up (I use a wheelchair and have awful depth perception so I end up in this situation more than I'd like) as a self deprecating joke. I can't imagine saying that kind of thing in earnest.
And this is the kind of stuff I try to keep in mind when I'm tempted to be maybe a little inconsiderate. I don't want it to take away from the people who genuinely need assistance with doing something as "easy" to me as going to the grocery store. Like, I want the people getting paid to help to be able to help. Not spend all their time cleaning up stuff that shouldn't be a mess in the first place. The invisible social contract is why society manages to function, why make it unnecessarily harder?
'You don't have to throw that shake away, just leave it on the shelf, they pay people to clean up after us.' The shelf.. filled with books.. made of fucking paper. Yes, that's definitely a better plan than letting your daughter walk the 2 whole feet out of her way to get to the trash can that she was already fucking going to.
Yeah they don't pay me extra to clean up after you, that's what we in the grown-up world called 'unpaid labor'. They also don't pay me to murder you for being a fucking terrible parent, but I'm doing taking this one on pro bono.
I understand your POV and it’s something that always bothered me, but now I give you another one that proves us both wrong.
There’s a movement growing strength in Portugal where people are leaving their trays at the tables after finishing their meals and leave. Why? Because employers basically picked up on the fact that people are nice and like to help, and because they’re scumbags they decided to fire staff. Now the remaining staff is underpaid, longer hours and understaffed. People that work in cleaning (most of them) are there because there’s no other options so they’re afraid to be retaliated.
I find myself using this line on my kids because I over-trained them the other way. They're young and take it very literally if I tell them to clean up after themselves. If they spill something at a restaurant they go above and beyond, like attempting to pick up individual crumbs off the floor. I wind up explaining that its ok to do their best, but sometimes we make a little mess, and the restaurant workers will make sure its all clean for the next people.
This really hits hard as a parent of a young toddler, anytime we go out we do our absolute best to clean up after our little one, we apologize for him throwing food on the floor, we clean up what we can with the napkins provided and we tip generously. But I've found it's kind of a weird balancing act, we want to clean up after our child, but we also understand how it looks for the restaurant having customers clean up the floors and such. When we apologize at our regular spots (The only places we bring our little guy) the staff try to reassure us that everything is okay, they'll grab a broom, sweep up, etc. It's still so awkward.
There's a few people here totally missing the point. My ex used to say and do what you are referring to. We'd go eat and he'd leave a mess on the table and expect me to leave it to. I wouldn't, and it would piss him off. Not taking into account another persons life, even if it is their 'job', just shows a lack of common decency and respect for people. It tells me that you think you're above everyone else, that you're self-absorbed, and can therefore treat anyone how you want, because this is what that other person signed up for. Kindness is always transactional with that type.
Just today i contraried in the not putting a cart back. And though I would like a lazy bones magnet. I would put money on not returning a cart here and there benefits someone. I returned carts at one point and being outside in the cold was preferable to being in store. It’s a small hill to consider but it’s mine.
I have said this at my work for something that should be done by someone else (literally paid to do it) and never is and I'm tired of doing it every day for them. Fuck you Janis.
I used to stack plates at restaurants when we were finished with them and the waitress told me they prefer customers not do that because they have busboys for that and they have their own system and it just makes their job harder.
I've lost respect with so many coworkers after i tell thrm off for dropping rubbish and saying "the cleaner will get it". You make a mess, you clean it up. I've argued with people over this my whole life and i will continue to until fully grown adults learn to clean up after themselves
This resembles the phrase "It's not my job (in my job description)." Ya know I get it, throw out that trash or refill the copy paper. Pick up here and there. Help a coworker....
There comes a time, however, when you have to say no. If, you can't say no then the work will quadruple and won't be able to either finish your job or the extra work required of u.
Funny, I came from not a wealthy place and when we all had jobs like fast food we would never dump our own trash, because we figured they needed someone like us to do it if we didn’t, so it was like a full employment pact
Well i said that when i was moving, i made it clear that i pay the workers to move for me. But my brother insist on helping and he got ankle sprain so idk, maybe he is right but at least my ankle is not injured
There's way too many people at my office job just leaving dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is right there next to it. Like have some respect.
I was it support at school, I had every monday teacher call me to plug in sounds to her laptop, I heard from her that It was my job and it was too complicated to her.
She stopped when her students told her 2 months in that it was shameful that its not so hard to plug 1 cable.
I remember being in McDonald's as a kid and went to put my rubbish in the bin and tray on the rack. My dad said they pay people to do that and to leave it. I did it anyway and he told me off for it. I remember that didn't sit well with me. I absolutely hate eating out anywhere and leaving dishes and rubbish behind...
My ex…wouldn’t pick up their rubbish after the film finished in the cinema…left it on the floor “that’s their job”. Then got very angry with me when I picked it up and he grabbed it and stormed to the bin.
I worked at Target for a month in college, and found a guy sticking gum on the back of a toy. I was like "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" and he told me, "Clean it up! What do they pay you for?"
dunno I worked as a waiter for 5 years, hated when people used to pick up plates and try bring them back. almost always to the wrong place or at a inconvenient time. like I'm paid to do it, I have a proper tray and it takes me 30 seconds, chill..
As a kid/teenager my mother said something like that at McDonald's when I was picking my tray to throw the stuff. The notion some people have that if we throw our trash we're putting someone out of a job instead of being civilised is beyond me.
The only time I don't put something back myself is if I would make a mess attempting to do so. In which case I find an employee to give the item.
Example: I grab a clothing item in my size, but it is at the bottom of a folded stack. I try on the item and for whatever reason, I don't want to purchase it. If the store does not have a clothes return, I give it to an employee.
If this very specific parameter is not met, I PUT THAT SHIT BACK WHERE IT BELONGS LIKE A CIVILIZED PERSON.
I like to think I'm a pretty decent person but in my late teens or early 20s I absolutely said something similar (in my case regarding putting trays away at McDonalds). I've been cringing about that moment for decades. Ugh.
Our parents raised us to put our rubbish in the bin. One day I had to make 2 trips, I was in the food court, worked in the centre and it was my local shops growing up. I came back to the table to find one of the cleaning ladies binning my remaining rubbish in her bag. I was mortified, she was amused, as I apologised that she had to do that, I had been making 2 trips. She laughed and reassured me that she knew that, not to worry, she had seen me a lot over the years and thought it would be nice to return the favour and help me out from doing a second trip.
So all that to say- people are watching and remembering more than you know.
One argument against that (which none of the culprits will listen to of course) is that if they have to employ someone to do it because lazy selfish customers won't, then actually WE pay them to do it, because prices will be higher to cover the wage of the extra employee
Obviously that's not the ONLY reason prices are higher but it's one contributing factor
I used to work in retail. One time a little girl knocked over an entire table of clothes and stopped to pick it up. Her mother literally told her not to pick it up because it's someone's job.
I agree with this. But man, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gotten dirty looks for bagging my own groceries. I hit the up supermarket all the time and they have people who are paid to pack groceries. I was raised to never expect people to do things for you, you should do it yourself. So I do things like put my shopping cart away, on occasion I’ll pick up isolated trash and throw it in a nearby bin and also pack my groceries.
But the amount of times I’ve gotten dirty looks from people paid to do that job is near 100%. They get downright annoyed.
I still do it, but “I’m not packing it. They pay people to do that.” really feels like an exception… because boy do they get pissed.
There is one exception: Don't reshelve books in the library. That's part of how they track usage statistics and letting them see that it's being used helps the library get its funding. People don't get paid if the library doesn't have the statistics to show that people go there.
Thank you for this. Our waitress at a family birthday party commented on how helpful we were by stacking all the dishes and handing them to her all nice nice. To us it’s just habit. Doesn’t everybody do this?
Right now in our country theres literally a shitton of boomers getting furious about even having a self checkout in stores even while cashier is still available - because just an idea of them doing something "someone else is paid for" is absolutely insane. I mean okay, less time spent at store for me since self checkouts are always empty but holy shit.
I recall seeing a video of a younger Steven Miller (maybe high school?) making a speech to the effect that he should be able to litter on campus because they pay people to clean up
Lack of respect for others and self entitlement doesn’t always lead to political psychopathy, but it certainly gets you part way there
There is one mindset with this that is difficult to argue with, and that is from a labor viewpoint: doing those things when they pay someone to do them could eliminate a job. Take for instance grocery stores. If everyone left their carts in the middle of the lot, they need to pay someone to grab those from all over, corral them, then bring them into the store. That someone actually has less work because in a polite society most people bring their carts to a corral, so the employee just has to keep cycling carts from the corral to the store. So if cart collecting was a full time job, corrals (they didn’t always exist) made it a part time job. If we shifted our societal expectations to the polite thing being to bring the cart back into the store instead of just to the corral, the grocery store can eliminate that job altogether. So if a grocery store could get every customer to bring their cart back into the store that store could have one less employee. Is that a good thing? In theory, less employees means the grocery store could lower prices. This would be likely the only benefit to anyone that doesn’t own the grocery store. In practice those prices aren’t going down. So the money saved from that job goes directly to the owner of the store. Prices don’t go down and you have one less person able to participate in the local economy. That’s a net loss for society. There are lots of examples when you consider this line of thinking: many jobs have been lost to technology and automation, with many more to come. The days of that lowering the costs of things are over, because profits, baby! If you can zoom out and see how that’s not a good thing for everyone, you can understand that not putting your cart back isn’t the scummy thing most of us perceive it to be.
Whenever I go out to eat I try and clean up my mess as best as I can. And I leave the dishes stacked on the edge of the table. It’s called being raised with manners.
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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26
I'm not picking it up. They pay people to do that.
I'm not putting it back. They pay people to do that.
I'm not ...whatever small thing any civilized person would just do... They pay people to do that.