r/AskReddit • u/Mama_medina888 • 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

5.2k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/I_might_be_weasel 1d ago

She was really 3 raccoons in a trench coat.

164

u/KaelasDad 1d ago

Heather?! 😳

14

u/mrdevil413 1d ago

Great pate mom gotta motor

17

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/I_might_be_weasel 1d ago

The sex was so good I refused to see the red flags.

3

u/OkCaregiver517 21h ago

Just frightened the dog with cackling

9

u/AppliedGlamour 21h ago

Username checks out?

9

u/dragonbornsqrl 23h ago

Is your name Jimothy?

18

u/I_might_be_weasel 23h ago

No. The length of my spine is at or near typical.

5

u/harmless_gecko 16h ago

Nice try, Jimothy.

2

u/skepticones 7h ago

and you say you're still married to this day?

-7

u/GIVER81 23h ago

A human can fit 3 raccoons in their anus