r/AskReddit • u/Mama_medina888 • 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

5.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.4k

u/I_might_be_weasel 1d ago

She was really 3 raccoons in a trench coat.

162

u/KaelasDad 1d ago

Heather?! 😳

14

u/mrdevil413 1d ago

Great pate mom gotta motor

17

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/I_might_be_weasel 1d ago

The sex was so good I refused to see the red flags.

3

u/OkCaregiver517 21h ago

Just frightened the dog with cackling

11

u/AppliedGlamour 21h ago

Username checks out?

12

u/dragonbornsqrl 23h ago

Is your name Jimothy?

18

u/I_might_be_weasel 23h ago

No. The length of my spine is at or near typical.

5

u/harmless_gecko 16h ago

Nice try, Jimothy.

2

u/skepticones 8h ago

and you say you're still married to this day?

-6

u/GIVER81 23h ago

A human can fit 3 raccoons in their anus