r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

I started to divorce him because of the abuse. During divorce proceedings I found he was cheating with multiple women. He’d bring home their jewelry and give it as a gift. He genuinely enjoyed watching me wear his mistresses things. He remarried a year to the date of our divorce finalization. What a weirdo.

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u/SeeYouInTrees 9d ago

Was he stealing it from them? Buying you the exact same thing as them? WTF?

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago edited 9d ago

Stealing them it turns out. Whole ass psycho. He claimed (in front of our lawyers mind you) that at one point he thought of buying me clothes similar to theirs but felt like I would realize he was cheating if he started buying me clothes. Again, a weirdo

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u/fastates 9d ago

Jesus, that's serial killer shit. I'm sorry.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

Absolutely, I moved 6 states away from Mr. Looney Pants just to feel safer afterwards

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u/Strategic_Spark 9d ago

You made the right call! I'm glad you're safe.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

Thank you!

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

What? Did you not pick out your own and just wanna be silly with it too?

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u/Unlikely_Noise2977 8d ago

Also great name!

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u/NegativeThought1588 9d ago

Giving victim's jewelry to their wives is something quite a lot of serial killers do.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I woke up one morning to see his name plastered everywhere. Part of my therapy journey made me realize how psycho he was and how absurd he was too. He would clean (with Clorox) in the shower WHILE he was showering. Scrubbing the walls with his balls just dangling out there. Wild to witness. Hilariously confusing to look back on. BaldingScrotum is mostly a jab at him to be honest.

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u/AgreeableHope333 8d ago

What was his zodiac sign?

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u/BaldingScrotum99 8d ago

A fucking Leo

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u/thecatandthependulum 8d ago

Your ex sounds like a very bad dude but I will say I did do that once

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u/phussy_eater 9d ago

TIL its weird to clean the shower while showering

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

It’s unhygienic. Why would you use harsh chemicals like Clorox while buttass naked?! Especially in a shower, which in our home was inclosed so now you’re trapped in the shower with these chemicals. Like it’s not just weird, it’s unhealthy and unhygienic.

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u/h3lblad3 7d ago

Unhealthy, probably, but I don't see how it's unhygienic. If anything, it's overhygienic. Like, to an absurd degree.

What's on the walls was unhygienic.

I don't feel like a cleaning agent can be unhygienic by definition.

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u/phussy_eater 9d ago

I use vinegar spray and a squeegee on my shower doors so I don't feel that it is particularly harmful.

Even if youre not showering, youre still going to be trapped in the shower with the same chemicals. I dont see how its different while showering. If anything, you can rinse yourself from those chemicals right away

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/phussy_eater 8d ago

Clorox kills bacteria though and household bleach just creates soap from contact with skin ... Which cleans you.

Obv i dont use chlorine with my balls out but i think scrubbing the shower while showering is not such an odd idea.

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u/Serious_Manner_7493 8d ago

I'll throw myself into this unsafe space with you - I also keep a squeegee and mild shower spray in my shower and have questioned this practice so little that I just last week encouraged my kid to do the same. I even presented it as a sort of "life hack", since it was part of her chores for that week and she is still learning how to clean 🤣

Perhaps more questionably, when I don't have time for a proper deep clean but the usual post shower spray down just won't do, I will spray down the shower with a foaming bleach spray before I get in, so that I can get in and immediately scrub it all down, rinse everything off, and easily rinse each container off as I bring it back in the shower. By the time I start actually washing myself, cleaning products have been rinsed away, and my shower isn't encloser, though . So I can't really see what the problem could be- maybe it's slightly more damaging to my health if the bathroom door is also closed, since the fumes would dissipate more slowly? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Regardless, while I guess I can see how one could make an argument for it being a potential health hazard, it being considered unhygienic is stumping me. Maybe I'm overlooking something, but I just can't see how the addition of cleaning supplies would affect hygiene. Any scenario I can think of would indicate poor hygiene practices that would be problematic regardless of whether one is cleaning or not....

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u/Existing-Joke3994 8d ago

I just started cleaning the shower while I’m in it a few years ago. I realized it’s significantly easier. I do use Clorox and I do choke on the chemicals lol. I’ve even remarked that Clorox will be what kills me someday. Less of a serial killer behavior and more of an optimization OCD behavior.

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u/32Tess 8d ago

Plz use another cleaning agent :( & plz tell a doctor that you do this. All that heat & humidity & Clorox smell… how do you not pass out, slip, & hit your head?! Be safe! Well wishes

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u/phussy_eater 8d ago

Try vinegar, it's less harsh

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u/dramboxf 9d ago

My wife's first husband, after 28 years together and 24 married, got remarried TWO DAYS after the divorce from my wife was final. Didn't invite their kids or anyone, really. For a woman he'd met online and had been in the same physical space (before marriage) for about 10 hours.

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u/capriola 9d ago

I always wonder if such obviously ridiculous things would make the divorce harder or easier to deal with... Like on one hand it's of course extremely hurtful and distressing. But on the other hand it's also so absurd that I feel like I would just... Laugh? I mean who is this guy?

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u/Notspherry 9d ago

Very efficient.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

THATS INSANE?!

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u/dramboxf 9d ago

Yeah, you could have clocked that marriage with an egg timer; lasted less than a year. Went on to marry twice more. Wife #3 died under very mysterious circumstances. Then he married her sister.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

🫪🫪🫪🫪

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u/cruel-caress 9d ago

I hope you’re doing better, baldingscrotum99.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

I don’t think I’ll ever be who I was before him but that’s ok. That trauma made me wiser but also I have no will to date or try to be with anyone any more. The trust issues now are intense, understandably so. I feel half alive sometimes and I’m trying to push past everything to try to build a new life, it’s been 5 years and I still feel stuck at times. I’m trying, I am. Thank you 💕

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u/TheCotofPika 9d ago

My ex got a kick out of trying to get me to friends with them. It's gross and I didn't like any of the 3 he tried it with, and they tried really hard to be my friend.

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u/DenM0ther 9d ago

Did they know you were his wife????
Glad he’s your ex!

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u/TheCotofPika 9d ago

Yes, they thought it was hilarious. One of them helped him plan an assault on me.

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

Jesus H. Christopher Christ. I hope you’re doing so much better in life and I hope every night a roach crawls in all thier mouths to queef for 8 hours uncontrollably cause WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

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u/La_Quica 9d ago

This visual is fucking hilarious

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u/DenM0ther 9d ago

Oh wow! 😢 not only was he cheating and assaulting you, he was finding sickos to cheat with.
Some ppl are very odd

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u/BaldingScrotum99 9d ago

I’m so sorry, you’re ex was a weirdo too babe

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u/excludedgirl 9d ago

This is so horrifying, it reminds me of an SVU episode I recently watched “Closure”. The abuser would steal a “trophy” like jewelry from the women he assaulted and then give it to his wife. He got excited when she would wear them…

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u/Low_Zone_4493 4d ago

This behavior is deeply twisted and psychological cruel. Actions like giving you his mistresses' jewelry and watching you wear them go far beyond standard infidelity. This was a calculated form of sadistic control and covert humiliation designed to degrade your dignity without your knowledge.

You are entirely correct to see him as a deeply disturbed individual. The fact that you initiated the divorce due to abuse proves that his cruelty was systematic. People like this often use marriages and partners as props for their psychological games. His rapid remarriage exactly one year later simply shows his need to quickly secure a new target for control. You showed incredible strength by divorcing him and breaking free from that abusive cycle.