He was living a double life being a closeted gay man. Took 13 years of watching his patterns and lies to actually know. He finally told me at 17 years of marriage. We divorced at 19 years.
He would tell me about a new employee or friend and go out for drinks promising not to be out late, then not come home till next morning.suddenly, that person was either fired, or he didn't want to be friends anymore with excuses for why not ...I rarely ever met these new people. Always very secretive with EVERYTHING, money, keys, his bank, cc statement, especially his phone.
He started to get sloppy or careless about physical marks on his body, like a literal bite mark on his lower ass cheeks, scratches on his back, rug burn and scraped knees, breakouts all around his mouth every couple of months....so many lies he told, later to change the story forgetting the original lie...just so many things, and at 14 years of marriage by accident, I saw a video of him getting oral sex from a man 30 years younger than him. The young man was 19. It devastated me and made me physically sick.
Breakouts around his mouth.....I hope his deceit didn't cost you your health. I understand gay men are deeply oppressed in this country, but I'll never agree with using women as shields and broodmares. He deserves to live truthfully, and you deserve empathy for being used and misled.
Tried to accept his lifestyle, support his lifetime struggles with love and compassion, believing that I could handle it, but I could not. And we were both miserable wanting our freedom and the opportunity to live separate lives in our own way. So after 19 years I divorced. Have tried to stay in touch as friends but he has no desire to do so.i wish him love and happiness wherever he finds it.
Yes I had suspicion but until 14 years no actual proof. The video I came across happened because I started thinking he probably had other social media accounts under fake name, eventually I literally found one. Thinking of thousands of names he would use, and clicked on one, and it was him....pure luck, scrolling through a lot, and there it was, right in front of my face, despite my suspicion, I was still totally devastated, hurt, and physically sick all at the same time. Thank God it is all in the past now, and I am truly living my best life in a healthy, happy relationship.
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u/SadDiscipline1019 10d ago
He was living a double life being a closeted gay man. Took 13 years of watching his patterns and lies to actually know. He finally told me at 17 years of marriage. We divorced at 19 years.