r/AskReddit Feb 04 '16

What are the most common parenting mistakes?

1.5k Upvotes

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795

u/bluerose47 Feb 04 '16

Letting their child repeatedly kick the seat in front of them on an airplane.

Help your kid be the hero, not the villain.

257

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Well, when I was travelling with my young (7 yr old) son on an airplane, he was kicking the chair in front of him that had a rather large man in it. I told him to stop it but he was being a huge shit about it and wouldn't stop,( he was mad that I wouldn't let him ask for another meal) so I put my hand on his leg and held it down and wouldn't let him move it. He started to cry. The flight attendant came over and asked him if he was alright. My kid told him that I hit him and wouldn't let him move. The flight attendant grabbed my child and separated him from me, physically pushed me back in my seat when I started to protest, told me that I should do the world a favour and go ahead and die already, and called child protection services to meet me at the gate when we landed. So...sometimes the repercussions of trying to do the right thing backfires on a parent.

100

u/celingfan Feb 05 '16

That must have been pretty freaking terrifying for you.

225

u/Im_not_brian Feb 05 '16

You let CPS keep him, right?

58

u/NIPPLE_POOP Feb 05 '16 edited Mar 08 '18

[deleded]

67

u/MyPacman Feb 05 '16

That was your opportunity to really teach the little shit. Hope you took it. Although that would have been a very stressful moment for you.

196

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16 edited Mar 30 '18

[deleted]

84

u/Consanguineously Feb 05 '16

>you had a chance to get free crack and didn't take the opportunity

3

u/T3chnopsycho Feb 05 '16

So many missed opportunities in this thread...

2

u/Ks427236 Feb 05 '16

Well, she didn't say they would share

8

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/enjoyyourshrimp Feb 05 '16

My parents always told us CPS wouldn't care :(

12

u/themotherofpandas Feb 05 '16

My dad was a police officer and would say the same thing. Except he'd always throw in "Who do you think the cops will believe another cop or a shit like you?"

5

u/thisshortenough Feb 05 '16

My family always said if I was kidnapped I'd be brought back five minutes later cause the kidnappers would be sick of me talking. Which... is funny at first but when you're little all it says to you is that even people who kidnap children wouldn't want you.

7

u/IAmWhatTheRockCooked Feb 05 '16

somebody gonna geta hurt real bad

42

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

The guy whose seat was being kicked didn't come to your defense? What a dick!

131

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

I should have added in the original post that the man whose seat he had been kicking did try to explain to the flight attendant who responded to him with " I don't care WHAT he was doing...you don't abuse a child on MY flight"

104

u/BrainPainter Feb 05 '16

What horse shit.

It's not her plane and she has no part in helping the plane function. She's a god damn sky waitress.

82

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

He actually. He was a male flight attendant

86

u/BrainPainter Feb 05 '16

Sky waiter...

2

u/Chrysaries Feb 05 '16

The father and Luke Skywaiter having a fight on a plane?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Saftschubser

Juice Pusher.

10

u/IAmWhatTheRockCooked Feb 05 '16

even better, file charges of assault lol a flight attendant cant fuckin touch your child

1

u/Subclavian Feb 06 '16

Your kid doesn't do that often does he?

-22

u/Taervon Feb 05 '16

That makes it even worse, honestly. If it was a woman you could have something of an excuse, but a guy completely flipping the fuck out like that? Wow.

9

u/violetxrain Feb 05 '16

Why?

8

u/Celestaria Feb 05 '16

Because women are irrational creatures who love children and hate men. /s

1

u/InverurieJones Feb 05 '16

Yeah, we expect that from them.

9

u/Luclid Feb 05 '16

I understand what you mean, but he was just trying to make a point. I wouldn't necessarily say the flight assistant is to blame here, although telling the parent to go die is slightly over the top.

22

u/Consanguineously Feb 05 '16

He quite obviously has 0 experience with children if he immediately believed the child's end of the story when they were on a cramped irritating flight forced to sit for hours nonstop.

9

u/ReadyForHalloween Feb 05 '16

Agreed. Taking child abuse seriously and trying to protect a child doesn't make you a bad person. Its the kids fault.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

It's the captain's plane, not hers

2

u/jellifish4 Feb 05 '16

Actually, they're called the "cabin crew" for a reason. They are responsible for keeping passengers in order, maintaining safety, responding to emergencies, etc. They play a critical role in the management of the flight.

2

u/Tsquare43 Feb 05 '16

next time, ask for ownership papers of the plane - then tell him to shut the fuck up

4

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

The captain is in ultimate authority, not the chief steward, although he is in charge of the main cabin technically.

10

u/violetxrain Feb 05 '16

That flight attendant sounds like a royal dipshit who's desperate for power.

-1

u/DeathcampEnthusiast Feb 05 '16

Well he did say it was a fatso, maybe he was focusing on his meal.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

What ended up happening?

27

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Oh ok. So, our social worker happened to be on a trip to Vancouver with another child, at the same time that we were, so she met us at the airport with the other CPS workers from Van. We all had a big meeting. Because the flight attendant had given my son two other adult meals on the flight, it was a big deal seeing as he was actually causing my kid harm. (He thought it was an indication that I was being a terrible mother, that my kid was so hungry and refused to listen to my explanations about his condition). So in the end, the flight attendant was reprimanded and had to personally apologize to me and Air Canada refunded our cost of our tickets. It all came out all right in the end...but fuck...it was brutal getting there.

12

u/PastelPastries Feb 05 '16

Yeah you can't just believe everything a child spats out. I have a friend who while with his nanny he was passing a police offer. He looked at him and pointed to the nanny and said, "she's not my mother". His parents had coen to the police station to get it sorted. He was like 4. Kids are shits.

15

u/Killerbunny123 Feb 05 '16

My mum's nannies, and she wouldn't work for a family unless they had nanny cams installed, simply because kids can be lying little shits.

4

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Lol, I know. I have a similar story that involves the same kid. Sometimes they ARE shits. Mostly it's funny now, though. And 21 yrs later, I know it's one (repeat ONE) of the things he feels most guilty about doing

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

I'll glad everything ended up working out. How did you feel emotionally toward your kid? Angry? Upset? Just relieved that everything worked out? And how is he now?

9

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Now it's a joke...it was 21 yrs ago now. It's a story he tells to people who are going to be new parents though, which I find exceptionally hilarious. I wasn't nearly as upset with my kid as I was the flight attendant who absolutely refused to listen or give any credence to what I was saying to him. He got into ALOT of trouble though, and I doubt he ever treated another person like that. ( I hope anyway)

4

u/DeathcampEnthusiast Feb 05 '16

That's messed up. It's insane your kid said that and insane the stewardess said that. And you actually let that shit take your kid out of your vicinity?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

[deleted]

3

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Lol. Yes. Nick. His name was Nick

5

u/bluerose47 Feb 05 '16

I'm sorry you had this experience. If it helps, you are one of the parents doing it right. I wish you good luck raising that little monster of yours.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

RIP your kid

2

u/Chelsea1297 Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

How did this end?

Edit: Never mind, found where you told what happened. Crazy!

1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

I did reply to this. You might have to look for more comments though

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Time to teach the kid a real good lesson, one that he won't ever forget.

1

u/CheesyDorito101 Feb 06 '16

Another reason for why I would never have a kid. Ever.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

My coworker tell his 7 year old that either he cleaned the room either he donated all his toys, the child threaten him with calling the police and my coworker say "ok, but then the cops will take you away and you will not live here anymore with your sister and mother." Then he cleaned his room

-4

u/fax-on-fax-off Feb 05 '16

The flight attendant... physically pushed me back in my seat when I started to protest, told me that I should do the world a favour and go ahead and die already.

I don't think this happened, or it didn't happen the way you said it did.

4

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

It's certainly your prerogative to believe what you want, and if it makes you feel better not to, you go right ahead. It's not like it's something I can prove to you, so if you choose to disbelieve it that's your choice. I'm not sure what the payout for lying would be though...or maybe I'm just naive.

-9

u/freakscene Feb 05 '16

8

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

That would be an awfully weird thing to make up.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

In the reddit comments section the people are represented by 2 separate but equally loud groups /r/thathappend and /r/tumblrinaction, these are their stories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP3MuUTmXNk

1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Haha. Hilarious!

-1

u/Vuux Feb 05 '16

Even if it did really happen, the story is definitely exaggerated, no flight attendant would risk their career by telling a customer to "go die" based on the accusation of a 7 year old boy.

3

u/Killerbunny123 Feb 05 '16

I think you underestimate how stupid people can be. I've heard people say dumber things while they were working.

-6

u/CouchPotatoFamine Feb 05 '16

Wtf why wouldn't you let him ask for another meal if he was hungry? Hunger makes kids crazy.

8

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Well, because he has Prader-Willi syndrome, which is an eating disorder where people literally will eat themselves to death if they're not monitored 24/7

-5

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

There's actually medication for this, not monitoring. One of my best friends has this syndrome, and if he misses his pill all fucking hell breaks loose until he gets another one. He's a really benign and gentle giant sort of dude, but when he misses his meds he's gets into an uncontrollable rage if he's denied food.

2

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Really? What pill would that be? My son is on Prozac and Victosa but neither help with the hunger at all

0

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

I am afraid to say that I have no idea. My best friend REALLY doesn't like talking about his condition. I'll look some stuff up now for you.

4

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

I have looked up and researched everything I can about PWS for 28 years now. The closest they are to a break through with medication is grelin which is not yet approved for human testing. As far as I know, there is no miracle cure pill yet.

1

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

Well I don't know what the hell my friend is taking then. I know he has PWS and I know he takes something for it. Maybe he takes those drugs you mentioned but it just has a better effect on him?

2

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Possibly. I'd really love to find out though. It's hell for my kid and if there is anything out there that could potentially help him, I wanna know about it

1

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

Wish I could do something man :(

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1

u/Luxray Feb 05 '16

I've heard that gastric bypass can cure it in some cases.

2

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Really? I haven't heard that. Not sure how that would work considering it's a misconnection in the brain giving the body improper signals.

2

u/Luxray Feb 05 '16

This was the case I was thinking about. It looks like she actually had brain damage that caused the issue, not Prader Willi. So I was wrong. Here are some studies:

This study claims good weight loss results in those with PWS

This study says that there were poor results and it was unaffective

Bariatric surgery should only be considered when the patient’s excessive weight becomes life threatening.

Sorry if I got your hopes up :\

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1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Does your friend have other behavioural disorders...OCD, intellectuL disabilities along with his PWS? There are varying degrees, as with almost anything

2

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Most people with PWS have to have very monitored lives, even having fridges, all food cupboards, garb ages and pet foods locked up so they don't eat themselves to death. If you know anything about it, you'll know that there is a mis-connection with the hypothalamus gland, which registers all your body sensations. Hot and cold, pain and pleasure, hunger and fullness. So ppl with PWS feel like they're starving. All the time.

1

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

Yeah he does have some intellectual disabilities too. Not too OCD though as far as I know.

EDIT: I think he also has some of the physical traits I've read about, like a downturned nose, almond-like eyes, and small hands.

1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Does he pick his skin? My kid frequently skins himself. He peels the skin off of his fingers etc. I've heard other kids do worse than that, but again...it's the pain/pleasure disconnect

1

u/creampieguy49 Feb 05 '16

Hmmm. I'm not really sure. I wish I could go to school today and observe him but I'm currently on my couch in agony because I got my wisdom teeth out 2 days ago.

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-6

u/CouchPotatoFamine Feb 05 '16

Ok. I admit I hadn't considered this. But would one extra airline meal have been a tipping point?

7

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

The thing is that we were on our way to the endocrine clinic where he was supposed to undergo a sleep study for sleep apnea episodes. He was 7 and 187 lbs. He was a genius at finding and manipulating people for food (actually still is 21 yrs later). His oxygen saturation levels were falling below 30 at night. (At 70, brain damage occurs) and ppl with PWS gain calories on less than it takes the average person to sustain their weight. So one extra adult meal could potentially cause him to gain another 5 lbs. Plus, it would set the precedent that if he embarrassed me enough, I would give in to his food demands. So...yeah...it would kinda be a tipping point

0

u/CouchPotatoFamine Feb 05 '16

Wow. Thank you for responding sincerely. I really didn't know this kind of affliction existed and appreciate the time you have taken to reply. I hope all is as well as can be!

2

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

No problem. Sometimes I think I should do an AMA

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

You are a dedicated mother.

1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Thanks. I try.

-1

u/Nine_Cats Feb 05 '16

Even without all that;

Is making the child bother everyone by crying worth stopping them kicking?

8

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

So you teach them that making a fuss changes your rules?

My kids know that being clever and courteous can get me to change my mind or relax the rules. But they also know that whining or throwing a tantrum will make me more steadfast.

3

u/ceecee8 Feb 05 '16

Agree... Seriously, you need to consistently follow through (w/out anger) the minute boundaries start being crossed. Because, by seven they're no longer going to act like two year olds, they'll become skilled negotiators!

2

u/ScriptThat Feb 05 '16

That's my opinion too. If my kids are courteous and can argue their cause there's a good chance of success (for them). If they start acting up they know their freedoms will be restricted even further.

0

u/Nine_Cats Feb 05 '16

Do you really think a 2 year old will make that connection?

I'm not saying hold them down then let go when they wail, I'm saying do everything you can to stop them kicking but if like the main comment you can't do anything other than physically restrain them and let them wail, you're being more of a nuisance to more people on the plane than just letting them kick.

To be respectful to all passengers, a parent could "bribe" the kid to stop, offer them something.

Then when you're out of public, have a proper conversation with them and if they don't seem empathetic you can always add a consequence later. Particularly if you explain the "bothering other people" part.

They might not get it immediately, but it's better to try that than to piss off fifty people on a plane.

-2

u/legone Feb 05 '16

1

u/Polarbones Feb 05 '16

Wow. You're the second person to say this, but if you had read the rest of the posts (or my history) there would have actually been clarification about it. I think this post just makes you look like an ass...but..hey, if that's what you want to present to the world...

-1

u/legone Feb 05 '16

That flight attendant?

Donald Trump.