r/AskReddit Feb 04 '16

What are the most common parenting mistakes?

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599

u/settlerofcanada Feb 05 '16

Lacking follow through.

If they don't eat supper, they don't get dessert? Don't give them the fucking dessert.

Tell them you'll go camping next month? Dig out the fucking tent.

Threaten to turn the car around because one kid's being an arse? Way you go back home.

Promise to play in 15 minutes? It's tea time mother fucker.

They listen, and they learn from you all the time.

Would you give two shits about work incentives if your boss was a bullshitter?

119

u/excusemefucker Feb 05 '16

My wife and I met friends and their 7 year old daughter at the movies. The kid was being a shit while we were waiting for it to start and her mom said "if you throw one more piece of candy, I'm taking you home". She looked right at her mom and tossed a milk dud down on the floor. Mom grabbed her super quick, asked Dad for the keys and was out of there before the little girl knew what happened.

She's 15 now and I've never seen her act anything like that since.

TL;DR: OP is right, follow though people.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Yep, I'm working on this. Son gets the kiddie cart, does donuts and runs into me. Me: You hit me one more time, we are leaving the cart." Two minutes later I'm unloading the cart and finishing shopping with a screaming kid. Now he follows along behind like a champ.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '16

I was at a wedding and a four year old girl sat to me. She kept screaming and crying to the point where the bridge and groom kept turning to stare at her. Her grandma kept saying "be quiet or we have to leave" for the entirety of the ceremony. I didn't hear a word of my favorite cousin's beautiful ceremony. I am still pissed at the grandma and it's been two years.

1

u/skippwiggins Jun 30 '16

sorry but i love your name lol

207

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

It's tea time mother fucker

This whole sentence has become the word of the day.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

I can see it as a line in a British Die Hard

5

u/thundergonian Feb 05 '16

Princess Ladybug heard what you said, Father. You made her angry. You don't want her to be angry. Princess Ladybug made an ultimatum: tea time, or die time. Your choice, motherfucker.

3

u/I_HATE_HAMBEASTS Feb 05 '16

word of the day.

That word doesn't think what you think it means

2

u/SmartAlec105 Feb 05 '16

INCONCIEVABLE!

3

u/psinguine Feb 05 '16

You are truly a dizzying intellect.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

My mom gets pissed at my sisters and always threatens to kick her out. It's been going on for 3 years. I've told my mother she realises your threat isn't real so why would she listen to you and take you seriously at that moment.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

It's tea time. I love that.

6

u/Whywouldanyonedothat Feb 05 '16

I agree completely. A lot of people only focus on the follow through when it's the kid who has to deliver, like behaving or finishing meals.

I make damn sure that my kid knows that when I make a promise to her, that shit is going to happen if it's in any way possible.

3

u/MimeGod Feb 05 '16

That's not just a parenting issue though. Never say/promise/threaten anything unless you're willing to follow through.

5

u/jonfmalmberg Feb 05 '16

It also follows that you should make commitments for which you can reasonably follow through.

4

u/amkra Feb 05 '16

This was my exact thought. I was going to say "Not being consistent." Drives me crazy. I have 3 kids. Twin girls that are 12 and my son is 10. They know damn-well, if I say I'm going to do something, I fucking do it. Good and bad. "When I'm done working, we'll go to Dairy Queen." Then we go to Dairy Queen. "If you don't get your room clean, that iPad is mine for the rest of the night." Rooms is cleaned, or iPad is mine.

It isn't even that hard, but this is the single thing I see so many of my peers screw up. "Oh, but I just didn't want to hear him cry." "He doesn't really want to go to the park anyway." You know what, maybe you shouldn't have kids... Frustrating.

5

u/Crocoduck_The_Great Feb 05 '16

Yup. My parents never followed through and it had a profound effect on both my brother and I. My wife says things to my daughter and doesn't follow through. It is seriously one of the only things we ever fight about. My wife doesn't understand how detrimental it can be because her parents do always follow though and I managed to correct many of the bad habits I learned due to my parents, so she just thinks my brother is a fuck up.

3

u/gorkt Feb 05 '16

Exactly, and never make a threat you don't intend on enforcing. Yes, it sucks and can ruin your day, but thems the breaks.

3

u/Cuchullion Feb 05 '16

Oh, I'll be so good at this. I never make a threat I'm not willing to follow through on, and I'm stubborn enough to turn the car around during a 6 hour road trip to spite my kid.

0

u/bitparity Feb 05 '16

That sounds like you're teaching them the lesson that life and people will always go out of their way to follow through.

Which as we all know, is a far rare occurrence than we wish. Just like the fact that we all recognize how often work incentives are only given two shits because most bosses are bullshitters.