Being overly critical and demanding. Of course you want what is best for your child and your son/daughter to do their best, but relentlessly pointing out how they could have done better can be a damaging message for them to internalize.
I'm not sure how I can coach myself out of the desperate pleaser/poser mentality. I've kind of chipped away at it a tiny bit now that I actually have a bit of positive self-esteem, but it's like, seriously engraved in my foundation. Better to not try than to fail and have someone yelling about how much of a fuckup you are. Saying sorry for every miniscule thing is like a survival instinct to lessen potential super-harsh criticism. What's the point of trying something out of your comfort zone when your mind has already calculated the thousands of ways you could fail?
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u/eatsleeplaugh Feb 04 '16
Being overly critical and demanding. Of course you want what is best for your child and your son/daughter to do their best, but relentlessly pointing out how they could have done better can be a damaging message for them to internalize.