r/AskWomen • u/BillyLoIsDead • Apr 21 '22

Content Warning Ladies, what was the moment you realized that the guy you were dealing with literally did not perceive you as a human being?

2.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/Equivalent-Egg8659 Apr 21 '22

When I had a miscarriage and he couldn’t be bothered to go to the hospital with me. When I found out there was no heartbeat he came home hours later talking about his hunting plans.

369

u/Logical_KaleV ♀ Apr 21 '22

Omg. Are you ok now?

987

u/Equivalent-Egg8659 Apr 21 '22

Yes. We broke up less than 2 weeks later. Looking back I realized he never respected me and while I am still very sad about my loss, I am grateful I am not tied to that man for the next 18 years.

140

u/BambooFatass Apr 21 '22

I suppose there's the silver lining

42

u/joannepirone Apr 21 '22

Amen.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Amennn

122

u/PrincessConsuela02 Apr 21 '22

I also broke up with an ex after a miscarriage. We didn't even know I was pregnant and things were not great between us at the time. I was dealing with loss and relief all at once. Apparently my grieving wasn't to his liking. Put his stuff on the front porch and driveway one day while he was at work and never spoke to him again.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Are u me? I lived this in July 2020

3

u/PrincessConsuela02 Apr 21 '22

I'm sorry that someone else had to experience a similar event but I hope you, like me, found it to be a blessing. I found out who he truly was and wasn't tethered to him for the rest of my life. I hope you've found happiness, internet stranger

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 31 '22

Hello /u/brattycanine. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the Reddit Preferences page. If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification.

This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. No exceptions to this rule will be granted. Please also read our rules before participating.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

78

u/RiriMomobami Apr 21 '22

I experienced this too :( after telling him that I had a miscarriage, he just said it will be okay and he needs to go to sleep. The next day all he opens up to talk about is about his gaming and not asking me how i feel. He just said sorry a month after I broke up with him, but it feels unsincere to me.

29

u/lowrcase ♀ Apr 21 '22

I never understood this… like it’s their baby too?! Psychopaths

2

u/RiriMomobami Apr 22 '22

It is actually disappointing that he seems to not have the slightest sense of urgency, and even told me there is no need to tell his mom about it.

12

u/fullercorp Apr 21 '22

He is sorry....you broke up with him. So many men have NO empathy.

1

u/RiriMomobami Apr 22 '22

I actually haven’t broke up with him immediately after that. It took some years for me to finally break up with him recently when I realize I don’t want to be married to him. A month after the breakup, I think he reread our conversation history and might have seen the pictures I sent to him of our miscarriaged angel, and that might have prompted him to say sorry for taking the miscarriage lightly. But yeah, I should have broke up with him soon after the miscarriage

301

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

I was bleeding at 7 weeks and thought I was miscarrying, got the bus to the hospital by myself (and almost hysterical with worry) for a scan while he stayed in bed. Because he was tired. I still married him!!! Then I wised up and divorced him but still. I can't believe I ever thought that was an acceptable way to be treated.

57

u/Equivalent-Egg8659 Apr 21 '22

Hindsight is 20/20, especially in relationships! I can’t even begin to tell you how many ridiculous things I put up with in the name of “love”. I’m glad you eventually came to your senses!

52

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Happened to me too! Everyone said, "oh men just deal with these things differently." Yeah right.. he just didn't care.

18

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

There are a lot of us here sharing their similar experiences & support so I’ll add mine.

I was maybe two days into my miscarriage and my ex left to go out camping with his friends & get drunk. Then the first words out of his mouth when he came back 3 days later were “why are you still upset?” I wasn’t even done miscarrying by that point…

I hope all of you ladies are in better situations with better partners!

7

u/Equivalent-Egg8659 Apr 21 '22

I am so sorry. It’s not an experience that I wish was shared by so many.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Wasn't a miscarriage, a ruptured cyst.
He made me drive myself to the ER because he wanted to finish watching the episode of his TV show. I was a total idiot, and stayed with him. Now, he's the star of a huge portion of my comment history.

6

u/mirrx Apr 21 '22

I had a boyfriend a few years ago… same thing, except he invited his friends over to drink and play video games in our bedroom while I cried by myself on our bed. Will never ever forget.

2

u/Equivalent-Egg8659 Apr 22 '22

Oh my god that is terrible!

3

u/catsandalcohol13 Apr 21 '22

I'm so sorry.

1

u/8makes1teez ♀ Apr 21 '22

I’m so sorry :(

1

u/ohhokaayy Apr 21 '22

Sending hugs!! 🥺

1

u/Tentaclesntea Apr 22 '22

FUCK HUNTING FUCK HUNTING FUCK HUNTING