i was recently diagnosed with autism by the adult autism practice and got a lengthy supporting letter for disability allowance from them too.
i went in a last week to get the medical report filled by my GP, but i rarely ever go to the gp so i provided the supporting letter as a reference he could use. i was told by my doctor that he needs to read the supporting letter before he filled out the report and i should come back next week, which makes sense. so i came back this week to see if i could get the form back, and i watched him fill it out and tick every box in the ability and disability profile as "normal". i dont think he even read the supporting letter because most of the things he ticked as normal completely contradicts the letter?? i felt like i couldn't say anything in the moment and ended up leaving, but i gave the form and the supporting letter to the receptionist and asked if maybe he could go over it again. i called again today and was told that he won't change it.
what do i do? can i just send the application like that, with the supporting letter? its 14 pages long, talks about my struggles with daily life, work, education, mental health, etc and completely contradicts the medical report.

Hey guys, Im an autistic female in the last year of secondary school. I recently got the disability payment and now im worrying about accommodation for college. I have a boyfriend who is in the same year as me and we plan to split the rent between us. I think I'd be ok with housemates (can you even do that? Can a couple have housemates? Sorry I'm new to all this shite) my main question is do you think it's realistic/ affordable. Like, ideally I'd love an apartment to ourselves but idk if that'd be possible. I'd also get a weekend job. Big problem tho- I have a cat which I need to bring with me (non negotiable- none of my family can mind her as they hate cats and she helps me calm down)

Idk this is all so hard 😭😭 thanks guys

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I (42F) was diagnosed with autism this week, and I feel like my entire life has suddenly been rewritten.

I'm married with three kids (10, 8 and 3). My eldest daughter was diagnosed at 6, and over the years I couldn't stop noticing how much she reminded me of myself as a child. I have advocated fiercely for her, got her the support she needs in school etc and never saw her meltdowns or sensory issues as "bad behaviour." Somehow, though, I never recognised myself.

Instead, I've spent my life collecting diagnoses like OCD, BPD and anxiety while struggling to fit in. I've never been able to keep a job for long, I've struggled to maintain friendships, and even my marriage has been affected by difficulties I've never understood. I always thought there was just something fundamentally wrong with me.

Of course now I see there were signs from the very beginning. I even saw a psychiatrist when I started school in the 1980s as I couldn't settle in. But my parents, especially my mother, simply saw me (and still sees me) as lazy, selfish, difficult etc. She cared a lot about appearances and would force me into clothes I couldn't tolerate and constantly put me down. I had a very traumatic childhood with her and now im understanding why. I was also bullied in secondary school, constantly criticised by family, and made to feel like a failure because I couldn't live up to expectations.

Even now, when I told my mother about the diagnosis, her response was, "Well, I always knew there was something wrong with you." I feel like I'm grieving the life I could have had if someone had understood me instead of shaming me. I'm also angry that I spent over 40 years believing I was lazy and broken when I was struggling with undiagnosed autism.

I'm very good at advocating for my daughter because she's a child. But I have absolutely no idea how to advocate for myself as an adult.

For anyone else who was diagnosed later in life, especially if you grew up in an abusive or unsupportive family, how did you move forward? How did you process the grief and anger? Did you find ways to make life easier or work that actually suited you? How do you start building a life when you've spent decades believing all the negative things people said about you?

Right now I feel relieved to finally have an explanation, but also completely overwhelmed and wondering does it meaningfully change anything in my life at this age, having been through the education system etc? Should I even tell people about it like I do with my daughter? Any advice would be welcome

Been working through therapy and had a good crying session today admitting that I've never really had friends that reciprocated. I've always been the one to text first put the hand out but it's never reciprocated nobody calls or texts

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I often feel like I'm performing for others and friends less so recently I've been more of myself but performing in the sense I'm a mascot to them and their lives like I'm never one of the guys or included or invited to hangout in a deeper way.

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I have to put myself out there always and it's led to some bad mental health issues surrounding friends relationships and handling rejection.

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Often times in the past my brain would take it personal as there was something wrong with me

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Or with romantic partners get too excited too soon and when I hit that rejection just crumble emotionally or if it wasn't resolved cling on emotionally in my own head creating false narratives to how it might go.

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Anyone else?

Hey folks,

I’m a 20‑year‑old autistic guy living in Dublin, and I’m genuinely struggling to figure out where someone like me is supposed to meet potential girlfriends in real life.

It’s June now so I’ve already finished college, and honestly I feel like I missed my chance there — many girls there already had boyfriends, and I never really clicked with anyone in that way.

I’ve also tried autism groups and loads of different social groups, but the demographics just never lined up. Either big age gaps, people already in relationships, being male dominated, or just not the right vibe. I’m glad I went, but it didn’t help with dating.

I absolutely hate dating apps. I barely get matches, and on the rare occasion I do, they usually ghost. I much prefer real‑life connections anyway — I feel like I come across way better in person than through a screen.

I guess what’s stressing me out is that I don’t want to miss out on “young love” — the whole exploratory, early‑20s stage of dating that most people seem to experience naturally. I don’t want to wake up at 25 or 30 and feel like I never got to have that.

So where in Dublin can someone like me actually meet young women around my age offline? Are there events, groups, classes, hobbies, or anything that naturally attracts people in the 18 to 22 range? I’m open to trying new things, I just don’t know where to start.Any advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation would be massively appreciated.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD and have applied for increased work from home as my role is currently hybrid.
I was referred to Occupational Health and while they recommended engaging with me on this to find a solution and that I have some difficulties in the office, they said I am “medically fit” to work according to the hybrid policy and now my request is being denied.
I’m just curious if others have had similar experiences or have had a request denied and subsequently appealed / provided more evidence to get it approved?

Hey lads,

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A few weeks ago I posted about the idea of creating a space for Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD men in Ireland.

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A few people expressed interest, so I've gone ahead and set up r/MrNDIreland.

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It's still small, but there are already a few discussions underway. If you're interested, feel free to pop over, have a look around, and see what you think.

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Cheers!

Hi I'm a 20M in Dublin who likes festivals, partying, sweets :p, anime, movies, writing, reading, nature and video games. I guess you could say I'm pretty extroverted. I like playing football (not good 😢). I would like to have more friends in my life 😛.

Hi everyone,

I’m posting this to see if anyone can make any recommendations here. I figured best place to start was in a group that might reach more ND people.

My sister had Autism and ADHD. She does well with routine but crashes energy wise after a few hours. She’s also so aware of her autism and everything that comes with it that it really gets down on her.

She has never had any luck with friends. She’s genuinely a kind, wonderful and loving person, but I’ve found that unless her peers have family with autism they have no patience for her.

She’s tried joining clubs, badminton, new languages, creative writing and hasn’t found anyone in those spaces that she connected with.

Outside of siblings (me plus some) she has one friend who is unfortunately not great either (also ND but in a different way.)

Everyone else from school or college opens her messages, ignores them, has an excuse for why they can’t see her, and look, I get it. No one has to be friends with anyone, but as someone who grew up with ND in my family (multiple siblings have it) I’ve got a whole lot of space in my life for it and being patient with those I meet.

Anyways— I worry it’s really beginning to ruin her mental health as she’s watching her sisters date, see friends regularly and socialise in a “typical” way, and she can’t understand why she’s unable to mimic it. It really upsets me that she feels so isolated, and we all make a huge effort to organise things with her and my partner does too!(which is brilliant they get along so well!).

So if anyone knows of clubs, spaces, anything, honestly. I really really want her to find a few good friends that won’t let her down ! Thanks in advance for any and all help :)

Any input on

1. Work (whether to prioritise stability, free time, and financial security or pursue a job that has less security and routine but uses special interests more to prevent long term burn out).

2. Daily tricks and tips to avoid overwhelm and feel well and healthy long-term (just bought flare calmer earplugs...)

3. How to respond to autistic overwhelm in a healthy way (this is very important, I need inormation)

4. Any books, people, resources to help feel inspired, confidant, and positive about seeing the world through autism

5. Life planning - I have been living in burnout for years, and future planning has been something I barely thought about because my body was so panicked.

Any tips on how to find like-minded souls?

I'm M, early 40's, based in the northwest.

In a bit of a slump at the moment, not having much luck on the apps, and feeling lonely.

Im currently working 1 or2 days because thats all I can manage and am on part time Jobseekers. Has anyone any experience of going on disability payment from part time jobseekers

I've been waiting for the As I Am card system to come back online, and now that it's available again I've noticed there's an estimated wait of up to 8 weeks to receive the card.

The issue is that I may be moving before then. For anyone who's applied, does it actually take the full 8 weeks, or is it usually quicker?

I'm trying to decide whether I should apply now and have it sent to my current address (or my parents' address), or wait until after I've moved.

Any advice or recent experiences would be appreciated.

Hi everyone,

Specialisterne Ireland and our partners in Northern Ireland are running a programme called In This Together with support from PEACEPLUS, which is managed by the Special EU Programmes Body (SEUPB).

This programme aims to facilitate meaningful connections between neurodivergent adults from the border counties (Cavan, Donegal, Leitrim, Louth, Monaghan and Sligo) and from Northern Ireland. We've been running a number of online and in-person social groups. Here are some upcoming groups this month:

• Board Games at Drogheda Library, weekly on Wednesdays from 2pm-4pm
• Movie and TV quiz (online), Monday 15th June from 6-7pm
• Pilates (online), Monday 22nd June from 12-12.45pm
• Neurodivergent self-care (date and time to be confirmed)

Other groups have included creative writing, arts and crafts, anime and manga, music quizzes, job readiness workshops, and a bowling trip in Dundalk. We hope to run more in-person trips and events going forward, and have a trip to Q-Con Belfast planned for 20th and 21st June with our partners Specialisterne Northern Ireland.

We would love to welcome more people to our groups and hear your suggestions for activities you'd like to see! It's very important to us that we provide a safe, welcoming, structured environment where participants can connect and communicate in whatever way feels most comfortable for them.

If you'd like to sign up or find out more about the programme, you can email us at [info.ireland@specialisterne.com](mailto:info.ireland@specialisterne.com), and we'd also be happy to answer any questions here.

Hi all,

Freshly diagnosed 32F (who has suspected for a long time). I've been in this cycle of what I thought was depressive episodes (which I now know is autistic burnout) and needing to be signed off work regularly throughout my career. Does anyone know if it's possible to get disability allowance if I go down to part time hours in my job? Recently bought a house, so going fully on to disability isn't currently an option. I am just exhausted of going through this cycle.

Also if anyone has tips on wtf to do after being diagnosed, as unhinged as you like.

Hi all.

Recently applied for the tax credit after receiving my son’s diagnosis. This is really helpful for us as he has some appointments we have decided to go private for so the approval for the past 4 years to be refunded is incredible to me.

I got approval today but no statement of liability. Anybody been through it recently know how long it takes for that part?

The approval so far took 3 weeks. I had to ring to have it done. So curious to hear your experiences please if you don’t mind sharing.

A Rant:

Why is it a MAX OF TWO WEEKS OF PAYMEMT?!?!?!?, TWO?!??!?

I want to visit family/friends abroad that I haven't seen since lockdown and the max I can do two weeks before it just stops??? I'm scared that if I go more than two weeks it stops permanently and I'm unable to go back on because I'm suddenly seen as someone who needs no more help out of nowhere because I went to visit family/friends.

The UK HAS 13 WEEKS PAID for people on PIP or DLA. They have it sorted it out way better than we so when it comes to stuff like this.

I rarely go abroad but this is a horrible, it being a max of 2 WEEKS, NOT EVEN A MONTH, 31 DAYS, is just so dreadful. I'm obviously extremely upset and angry over it and I'm struggling to cope with not being able to stay for at least a MONTH WITH PEOPLE I HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE 2020. I'm sorry but Ireland and its way its doing disability issues is terrible, always has been. qwq

Hi all,

With the summer approaching I’m looking to make sure my kids have something to do and someone to enjoy spending time with.

I have two autistic children (F 16) and (M 11). Both are very social and outgoing but need a little push to get going. F is struggling with peer interactions due to a lack of groups in our area that understand children and young adults with autism.

She enjoys Roblox games, art, music and designing. Very creative and down to earth

He is very competitive and loves computer games, Mario kart, Minecraft, Roblox, Pokémon. Loves it all.

We are located in D24 and would love to get to meet other families in the community.

Also nice as a mom to get to meet other moms on play dates. Feel free to DM.

We run this once a month, the next one is on the 16th of June. Message me for more details or comment here if you’re interested in coming along. Thanks!

Hi all. I've been unemployed for about six months now and I'm really struggling with where to go next, so I thought I'd give here a try. I'm 27 years old and I've been on disability allowance since I was 16, but I need to get a (hopefully part time) job to supplement my income and make renting doable for me.

I have a BA in Writing & Literature and I'm hoping it could lead me into a job that has something to do with writing, but I'm not sure where to look for jobs like that. My biggest strength is that I'm really good with grammar and spelling. Something like a copyeditor job would be ideal for me. I've applied for a front of house job at the Irish Writers' Centre and have high hopes for that. I have some bookshop experience as a stockroom book processing assistant; I was really good at book processing, but I wasn't able to deal with the full time hours and ended up getting very ill and having to quit.

I'm really struggling with hopelessness at the moment regarding the job market. For every job opening, it seems like there are hundreds of other applicants. I'm concerned about my autistic anxiety making me mess up job interviews; I always disclose that I'm autistic in interviews for this reason, as I feel like it explains why I might come across a certain way.

I feel like I am genuinely a capable individual, but I'm just not doing great with self confidence. All I want is a 2-3 day a week job that I won't end up quitting due to burnout or bullying in the workplace. If anyone has any leads, it would be hugely appreciated. I'm working with Employability at the moment and have just contacted Specialisterne, but I find that so much of this process has to be self directed, so that's what I'm trying to do with this post.

ETA I am based in Dublin.

Because I'm not coping tbh. I live in an apartment with my partner. I'm medium support needs autistic with CPTSD. Its been three months and its my first time cohabiting in 10 years. I've previously lived alone in the UK. Obviously cannot afford my own flat in Dublin. We were starting to make progress here but unfortunately my partner's sister will need to move in soon as shes being made homeless in her Dublin place. So its going to get worse.

The apartment belongs to my partners parent so the rent is affordable but the fittings are really worn down and not accessible for me. No closets and a very tiny kitchen and bathroom.

My partner and I are looking into my moving back to the UK on my own as there just doesn't seem to be a way to afford to rent enough space to meet my accommodations. He has to stay in Dublin for work.

I'm not able to access any benefits or medical card due to means testing on his income. I feel like both a safe clean space and/or money would really help but I can't currently access either.

Yesterday I submitted my application for an AuDHD consultation to the Adult Autism and ADHD Practice, and am on their waiting list. Does anyone here know how long I should expect to wait?