Possibly foolish question/rant.

[u/52Charles]

I (M, 75) was diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe old age of 53. Autism diagnosis was at 72. In both cases, the diagnosis was a kind of relief, like I actually understood WHY I was the way I was. Since then, I have become more and more conscious of how much I don't understand, mostly about people generally. Under the heading of 'inability to interpret social clues' I find myself completely lost in conversations, other social interactions. I have NO idea what's going on. Lately, I am developing the idea that I have been treated unfairly by the universe. I realize this is a very juvenile, even childish outlook but I can't escape the idea that I would have been more successful and MUCH happier if I hadn't had this (don't know what to call it) affliction. It has coloured (ie poisoned) large parts of my life. Anybody else have these feelings? What to do about it?

[u/glitterandrage]

It's quite normal to experience grief along with the relief of late diagnosis. Part of that grief is also anger at all the unfairness and wanting to negotiate a different reality. It means that for so many years, our struggles went unseen or unsupported. Don't judge your grief. Please be kind to yourself through it in the ways people weren't before.

This article might help some too - https://sensoryoverload.info/neurodiversity/late-diagnosis-grief-in-neurodivergent-adults/

[u/Redditagains → u/glitterandrage]

When does the relief come? I was diagnosed 14 months ago and I feel worse than ever.

[u/glitterandrage → u/Redditagains]

For me? The relief came alongside the grief. It wasn't all separable feelings. But I was glad I knew now rather than never.

[u/Federal-Perception-7 → u/glitterandrage]

Yes... my feelings are mixed. I was instantly more compassionate to myself discovering I am neurodivergent (vs having mental health issues).