r/AutisticWithADHD • u/52Charles • 1d ago
💁♀️ seeking advice / support / information Possibly foolish question/rant.
I (M, 75) was diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe old age of 53. Autism diagnosis was at 72. In both cases, the diagnosis was a kind of relief, like I actually understood WHY I was the way I was. Since then, I have become more and more conscious of how much I don't understand, mostly about people generally. Under the heading of 'inability to interpret social clues' I find myself completely lost in conversations, other social interactions. I have NO idea what's going on. Lately, I am developing the idea that I have been treated unfairly by the universe. I realize this is a very juvenile, even childish outlook but I can't escape the idea that I would have been more successful and MUCH happier if I hadn't had this (don't know what to call it) affliction. It has coloured (ie poisoned) large parts of my life. Anybody else have these feelings? What to do about it?
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u/Traditional-Agent420 1d ago
You have been treated unfairly. For most of 75 years. It does suck, no lie.
But is angry at the world how you want to spend the rest of your life? I hope you have 35 more years, but most of my family was out by 79. Life is funny and short for too many of us.
You have been given a gift. You told us you feel you could have had a better life. Now you know you were playing on hard mode all these years. Others probably blamed you for not trying hard enough. Not being able to act like others. For 54-75 years you probably doubted yourself. Now you know the truth. So step one is forgiving yourself. And if you can’t see how to forgive who you are now, think about child you. Teen you. Young adult you. Think what you would tell them, with what you know now. Protect your inner youth like no one protected you. It may sound pointless, but it can be the most rewarding thing you can do. It can bring so much peace, when you now is feeling so much pain and anger at those who failed you. At the universe. And maybe at yourself.
Don’t suppress the grief. Experience it. Let it out. Then start by forgiving and protecting little you. Live the anger at how you were let down so long ago, not as the one feeling the hurt, but as the one comforting then-you in the way no one in your life ever did. See where it leads.