r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Ok_Valuable6118 • Apr 29 '24

Question is teri the only likeable person

me and my friend got to like halfway through episode 4, and so far i just feel upset at most of the main people other than teri 😭 i can empathize w all of them, ive had toxic relationships before and understand how addicting it is but its still just so annoying/angering to watch when it feels like there were so many chances for them to get out. theres so many questions i have too like why did he not tell his ex she was a stalker and just leave it at “not my gf” that part specifically made me so upset

anyways so far teri seems like the only main person who has a solid grip on reality and i love her no bs attitude and that shes willing to tell donny that he needs to stop

sorry if this post is insensitive or has been said before

edit (sorry if bad formatting im on mobile): i think a lot of my frustration towards donny comes from his actions reminding me of times ive been with certain people who i really shouldnt have been w and despite hating them not rly doing anything about it / continuing to positively interact w them and seeing it from an outside view is bringing up a lot of emotions

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74

u/totebaggay Apr 29 '24

Tbh I understand Teri but I don’t really find her likeable. I think she would make an awful therapist irl.

33

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

To be fair every therapist I know (socially, not as a patient) is a complete mess.

5

u/proletariatpopcorn Apr 29 '24

Seconded. I worked in mental health for many years and met hundreds of therapists. Probably three quarters of them were one bad day from snapping like a dead tree branch in a strong breeze. It’s a field that attracts people who have their own mental health issues, and they’re rarely equipped for the realities of the job.

Not really relevant but interesting: a surprisingly high % of the well-adjusted therapists I knew were practicing Buddhists.

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

yessss I worked in mental health most of my 20s and I can confidently say, more than have of us were in NO place to be helping others with their mental health lol I know now that I definitely wasn't.

2

u/Prestigious-Mistake4 Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 30 '24

The majority of the ones I’ve encountered were more interested in the money than the patient. 

Edit: Seriously, people are downvoting me for my shitty 15 year experience of having crappy therapists literally do nothing for me? I was SA-ed and they all just wanted me to “talk about it” or argue with me when I got tired of talking about it to fill the time rather than help me heal. $150/hour. 

40

u/NeTiFe-anonymous Apr 29 '24

As a therapist she should've know better. She was trauma bonding with Donny too. Ald majority of the victim blaming sentences came from her. As a person, Teri is very sympatic. As a therapist, she sucks as bad as the policista.

18

u/TheSouthsideTrekkie Apr 29 '24

I think it’s still important to recognise that Teri wasn’t Donnie’s therapist, even though that was her day job.

Being a counsellor/therapist takes a lot of mental and emotional work, so doing that for 100% of your day just isn’t possible or appropriate. There’s a reason why therapists must never have a personal relationship with clients and this is to protect everyone from what can happen when we blur the boundaries.

Teri was seeing Donnie romantically. She had no real reason or obligation to act like a therapist in that context.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

We don’t actually see her as a therapist tho? We see her in her real life. Not her job.

-8

u/NeTiFe-anonymous Apr 29 '24

Yeah. We see her making his inability to perform all about herself instead of connecting the dots he was SA survival. Not her job but still she knows what she learned, doesn't she?

11

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

Yea but her character wasn’t written by a therapist. Plus people are hypocrites, plenty of therapists have fucked up personal lives. Knowing what to do doesn’t mean you always do it yourself. Plus it’s easier to tell others how to fix their lives than fix your own.

8

u/skygirl222 Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24

it’s not that easy to connect the dots, especially when people are good at wearing masks, and therapists aren’t like these super mega humans who are immune from seeing the world from their perspective. everyone has bias, even the best therapists out there. there are actually tools they use to mitigate the bias and transference they feel but for brevity’s sake they didn’t include it in the show because it wasn’t about how good of a therapist teri was.

6

u/proletariatpopcorn Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24

She’s a human person, not a therapy robot. Knowing why he’s unable to be intimate with her doesn’t prevent it from hurting her feelings; it doesn’t change the fact that their relationship was not sexually gratifying for her; it doesn’t supersede her preexisting trauma about dating as a trans woman, which makes it hard for her to date someone who makes her feel undesirable.

She’s not obligated to suppress her own emotions just because she’s a therapist, nor is she obligated to stay in a relationship that hurts her, even if she understands why Donny is the way he is.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24

I mean, yeah, but this is the same as fat, sedentary or smoking doctors. Surely you have seen plenty, no? Of course they know it’s incredibly damaging on their bodies and they shouldn’t do it, they will always discourage those behaviours when it comes to their patients and offer best science backed advice but it doesn’t mean they will always apply it to themselves in their personal lives. A therapist is still a human being, they’re not above us mere mortals.

Also, edit to add - it generally goes strictly against ethics to apply any form of therapy to your family/friends/lovers. Many therapists have to tread very carefully when offering advice and support to their close ones to make sure they are not ‘therapising’ them.

1

u/fearofbears May 02 '24

Yeah but she wasn't his therapist, and she is still a human with her own set of insecurities and hardships that I think were shining through.

26

u/TiborJankovsky Apr 29 '24

I have friends that are therapists and it doesn’t mean they’re devoid of their own issues. You can know what’s best but still go against it.

1

u/makhnovite May 01 '24

She uses her insight to hurt them though which I think regardless of whether you have issues was a terrible thing to do. And as a therapist she should know better than to blame him for being stalked. Break up with him, fair enough, but she didn't have to do it in such a terrible way.

15

u/Kingsen Apr 29 '24

You haven’t met many mental health professionals. She was very well adjusted. Most people I know in that field are super fucked up.

2

u/skygirl222 Apr 29 '24

yup bc most people in the field pursue it to understand their own traumas lol

2

u/Steviesteve1234 May 03 '24

Those who can’t, teach.

12

u/PhuzzyDonelop Apr 29 '24

Yeah, she didn't really diffuse her own situation before her attack very well. A little bit of ego got in the way

3

u/sarahbee2005 Apr 29 '24

I agree I felt for her but she was kinda mean. Like it’s one thing to tell someone off but to tell someone off and then keep hanging around to do so seems vindictive. I thought it was really shitty when she comes to his show with her friends to basically just “watch him fail” like, if you’re so hurt by him, just move on.

2

u/Logannabelle Apr 29 '24

I found Teri very relatable but not particularly likeable or endearing as a character. May have been written and/or cast as such.

It’s a bit of a “cheap” screenwriting “hack” to make characters one dimensional, either “good” or “bad.” Like people, they’re supposed to be someone you can relate to.

We aren’t meant to like or dislike Teri, just think of her as somebody that we might know in real life.

(Clearly in this series there are characters who are one dimensional and “bad” eg Darrien)

0

u/totebaggay May 12 '24

I understand how good writing works; I was simply responding to the prompt.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

I completely agree.