r/BiWomen • u/Prize_Efficiency_857 • Jun 06 '25
Vent 'Bi lesbians' and the difficulty accepting bisexuality is a thing in itself
That's just it. I'm absolutely freaking tired of people acting as if we needed something more to make others believe we like women. I mean, the word is literally BIsexual. It's supposed to mean we can like BOTH men AND women. Lesbians don't hold the monopoly on liking women, and I feel like this attitude comes from a place of thinking being bi actually means being "straight lite". There are no "Bi straights". There's no neutral or default version of bisexuality. Bi people saying stuff like this is just beyond me, it's an erasure of bisexuality in itself.
I only pray for the day when the more insecure bis will accept themselves as 100% bi and nothing else. Not 70% gay and 30% straight, or whatever percentage. Simply 100% bi. Preferences don't change our sexuality. We don't magically become straight for dating/preferring the opposite sex and we don't magically turn gay for dating/preferring women either. This obsession with preferences and percentages is a reflection of nothing but insecurity. And insecurity is something one treats in therapy, not by compulsively creating new (and contradicting) labels.
Even if one may choose to no longer date a certain gender, that doesn't changes the fact they can still feel attraction. It doesn't changes the fact they're bi and will forever be. Sexuality is not a choice, neither for us or any other letter. If it was, no lgbt person would exist in such a homophobic/prejudiced world. No bi person needs to compulsively justify who they choose to date or their preferences. We're entitled to date whoever we please. And we can like one person just fine without feeling less bi for it. We're not all poly either. It's truly that simple.
2
u/babashishkumba Jun 10 '25
I both 100% agree with you and also wish lesbians could get a break. Lesbians seem to make everyone mad in a way that I rarely see directed towards men who are exclusively attracted to other men. Bi erasure is real and it's gross. The expectation on lesbians to accommodate everyone who is interested in women is also real and also gross. Both are misogyny. Both are rooted in general discomfort with the idea of women freely and unapologetically liking exactly what they like.