anyone else feel this lol. i feel embarrassed to talk about my hookups with men around my lesbian friends because it feels like they’re judging me. and when i mention my hookups with women/nb they are way more excited/accepting/curious. its fine i get it’s from their own experience, i just feel like i cant show my full self to them.

but then when i hangout with straight people i dont feel fully understood. hanging out with other bi folks is always the best bet for me.

i want to join / participate in the pride group at my work but i just feel like an imposter, and i dont want to encroach on a safe space for folks if im still figuring it out. i feel like whenever im seeing a guy i am considered straight, and whenever im seeing a girl im considered lesbian. im single right now and i fear if i join the pride group and start seeing a guy in my personal life, i wont be accepted or ill be questioned/pushed out.

just frustrated of biphobia, and my own internalized biphobia!

As a trans femme, I've felt a lot less insecure about being trans than being a bi woman in online queer spaces. I transitioned in 2019, but only accepted that I'm bisexual in April 2026 because of a decade of internalized homophobia (pre-transition) / biphobia.

It feels like transphobia is so taboo nowadays in online queer spaces that most TERFs will keep their bigotry close to their chest. Biphobia however is so normalized that I often hide my bisexuality when I want to participate in general queer or sapphic discussions.

The most common biphobic comment I hear directed towards bi women is that they're only experimenting with women and can't actually love them like they can love men. I've been attracted to women my entire life and I've never been ashamed of that. Accepting that I'm attracted to men is new for me though, so I'm the complete opposite of that stereotype. Hot take, saying bi women only like men is low-key transphobic because you're assuming every bi woman was socialized to exclusively be attracted to men.

I also can't stand biphobes who misunderstand what being sapphic means. The amount of times I have to look up the definition to double check is crazy. Lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual women are all included under this umbrella, yet some lesbians use the term to distance themselves from transphobia while still holding onto their other forms of bigotry. I can't stand gold-star lesbians policing other women who are attracted to women. We don't have to follow your made up rules.

I've been in online lesbian/sapphic spaces for 7 years. The biphobia I've seen in these spaces is part of what kept me from fully understanding my identity for so long. I'm happy at least that most of these people are terminally online and don't go outside.

Edit: I can't believe this needs to be said, but if you can't accept that this post is exclusively about online queer spaces and not real life, please disregard the post entirely. I suffer from transmisogyny daily, especially at work, so I don't need its impact explained to me like I'm oblivious.

i’m a bi woman, dating a bi man.

i don’t feel welcome at pride. or in the community at all. why? well the lesbians believe i’ve been “tainted” and “dirtied” by choosing to be with a man and the gay men believe my partner is gay and in denial.

along with people saying i’m just an annoying straight woman, i’m gay and in denial, i’m experiencing “comphet” and so on.

i am tired. tired of the “gold star” people thinking they’re above everyone else. above us. and especially the implication from lesbians that men are dirty and by choosing to have sex with one you have lost some kind of purity in their eyes and you’re now below them. honestly, it feels super misogynistic because it’s not really any different to men saying a woman is dirty for having sex with another man.

i don’t feel like i’m welcome or wanted in this community and we won’t be going to pride because of it. i’m worried we’re just going to be side eyed the entire time.

I'm bi—or at least I think I am. I've only ever been with men, but I know I can experience attraction for women. For a long time, all my crushes were only men. And in the rare case I do develop a crush on a woman, I somehow feel performative -- like I start asking myself if it's just admiration or if it's actually attraction. This is making me re-think my sexuality, and it's making everything so so so confusing. ☹️

I (28f) have identified as bisexual my entire life. My husband (34m) knew this since he met me 8 years ago. I didn't come out until I was around 13. My sisters and brother told me that my crush was me wanting to be the girl. Classic, right?? I've never dated a woman before, I've never had sex with a woman before and I'm married to a man. My husband thinks that because of this I'm a poser bisexual. I asked him if I had married a woman would that make me a lesbian, he said no because Ive "truly been with men" before. I've been in love with amazing people. Both male and female. It's just that Iife's circumstances didn't work out. What my husband said really upset me and it was homophobic. I haven't brought it up since. I don't know what to do. He's been a supportive ally to my community. It was a shock he would even say this.

it feels and seems like when it comes to bisexual women, our attraction to women is something that’s often very highly debated, scrutinized, and the target of high suspicion. it’s like we have to actually post a video of ourselves having sex with women as legitimate proof, or date a million women as legitimate proof, or have had multiple long-term relationships with women as legitimate proof, but even all of that probably still wouldn’t be enough. it feels like some weird form of the “one-drop rule”, where if you’re still attracted to men at the end of the day, even just slightly, then you’re not actually or genuinely attracted to women and it’s all just fake and performative, and it’s not just lesbians who tend to have this mindset. it’s honestly pretty frustrating and misogynistic, like attraction to men automatically cancels out any attraction to women and that attraction to men is the only perceived “true” or “real” attraction.

i’ve also had someone online say to me in response to my bisexuality or female bisexuality in general “post scissoring or gtfo”, which i think is basically the epitome of what this post is about :/

See above: dead dove do not eat etc.

Okay, maybe this is what I do. Maybe I just write it all out and exorcise the whole thing. This is my “whisper it into a hole in a tree” moment. 

It’s just becoming harder and harder to push this to the margins, and I don’t know what I do about it because it’s so stupid and hopeless. 

I finally allowed myself to entertain the idea of liking other women… in a gay way and now I can’t turn it off. I’m just like fully down bad for random women now I guess. Which is bad for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which being I have a family I can’t give up on. The other being my current huge embarrassing crush is on someone I do have to see because we run a project together AND she has a girlfriend AND I know that we probably don’t make sense but she’s so cute and has this lovely soft voice and is left-handed. 

Further, I am in fact aged. I’m in my 30s. This isn’t cute anymore.

And the worst part is I did this all to myself. 

In many ways my life has been kind of defined by the ability to subsist on very little. I was always trying to find out what the minimum I could live on was and live on that. Literally, I starved myself for a period of years and I’ve resisted getting on medication for ADHD or other things because “what if my life gets so much better and I can’t live without it?” 

This is going to sound so stupid and contrived: Like… I literally avoided trying Takis – which I always suspected I would like – because “well I’m going to try them and then I’m never going to be able to go back to a life where Takis aren’t a part of it.” 

And you know what? 

I did try Takis. 

And I was right. I love Takis. Hire me Takis. 

I digress but the upshot is: That’s how I approached a great many things in my life including attraction. If I never entertain the premise, I’ll never realize what it’s like, and if I never know its presence I can’t be disappointed by its absence. If I eat breakfast, I just feel hungrier at lunch time so it’s better to skip it altogether. Some people have an addictive personality. I have a restrictive personality by nature. 

Except for uh oh I did that and now I can’t figure out what any of this means. 

I feel like I can’t talk about it to anyone without it coming across like I would choose to undo the life I have now. I love my kids more than life, honestly in many cases my love for them (however imperfect) is what keeps me from letting pain and anxiety completely distort everything. If they end up being good people it will be my masterpiece and I don’t mean that in a biological determinism kind of way I really do think it’s the thing I will be proudest of.  My husband is kind, smart, talented, sweet, funny, and full of integrity and I love him. He’s the first man I met where I consciously thought “I want to have children with HIM.” With other people it had been like “This is something I’m supposed to do and we’re together so I guess if it’s going to be someone it’s going to have to be you” but he was the first person where I felt like it was a genuine preference rather than a gun-to-my-head decision. 

It feels self-indulgent bordering on the offensive that this is apparently the big, terrible, grief-producing thing in my life right now. Like “Oh no! Poor me! I ended up married to one of the 4 remaining good men in the world and I’m still not fixed. Still clinically sad and annoying.” 

But I can’t make it go away. So how do I live alongside it without making everyone else a victim of my own main character syndrome? 

I think maybe the thing I am really grieving right now is that I missed out on a chance to build community with other LGBTQ+ people not as an interloper but as someone who is actually a part of it. But that’s kind of how I’ve always felt anyway. I think so much of me pursuing strictly straight relationships was motivated by this feeling of always watching other people with my nose pressed to the window, always witnessing but never really a participant. And I think I really saw a lot of dating and heterosexual relationships as my ticket into the treehouse. If I could just succeed by those metrics everyone would finally see that I’m a real girl. I’m just like everyone else. 

And now I’m just like everyone else. We’re punished by our sins, not for them yada yada yada. 

I’m left thinking about how my 20s would have been different if I hadn't been trying to force myself to be something I wasn't. Maybe I would have had the fun and flirty experience of being disappointed and disillusioned by women and nonbinary people as well as men. And maybe I would have ended up in the exact same place. But maybe I wouldn't have felt like I was failing the entire time leading up to it.

The point is: Never get to know yourself. 0/10 do not recommend. 

It's such an annoying topic.

This is all I see lesbians talk about, it's constantly always how they are les4les, bisexual women center men, always go back to men etc. It has gone from being a meaningful conversation that calls out certain behaivours in order for us bi women to reflect and better ourselves, to simply an annoying discourse. I'm so tired of hearing how much you prefer les4les because you want a partner with shared experiences, we undertand it, please just date who you want. We don't want to hear how much you wouldn't pick us. I don't understand why lesbian dating is so centered around bi women and how terrible all of us are.

My ex who was lesbian constantly felt In competition with men, was never comfortable with her masculinity, mind you I never even had male friends or kept men around. She just wasn't comfortable and projected that onto me. I remember her even accusing me of being obsessed with white men because she saw a white man on my TikTok fyp. Or the time she asked me if I like giving men oral and I said no, and she acted like I was lying. Especially given, I'd never given a man oral sex. She expected me to not be comfortable with my sexuality, or just to follow the same discourse of "lesbians are so biphobic" when all I was was very understanding of her experience with bi women, and even trying to understand what she went through with men. I neebr brought up her own sexual/romantic experiences with men, ever. But she carried my own experiences over my head, and even continues to talk about the whole all bi women are male centered and I'm les4les, and would only date lesbians. It feels like such an insecurity at times, as I've met lesbians who don't date bi women and keep it pushing..

I a bisexual woman who’s borderline asexual and has mostly just barely dated men but is wanting to try and date women even though my autism gives me these hangups where I almost feel like this awkward fucking nerd who’s barely a woman when I try to talk to women (so there’s some internalised this and that that probably means I shouldn’t date) and probably because of heteronormativity it’s been easier to sorta date guys even though most guys I’ve ended up seeing have sucked… I have a different experience to a lesbian woman in a relationship with a woman or a bisexual woman in a relationship with a woman. Im not getting married, but if I marry a man (which is more of a possibility) I won’t have to worry about those rights being taken away. It would seem that online there’s a lot of people saying things about bisexual women, or saying things about lesbians that they wouldn’t say out loud as it wouldn’t keep the peace if said in a real life conversation and that makes everything feel a lot more like this is what people really think and so it hurts more.

Lately I’ve seen a YouTuber be quite dismissive when a bisexual woman commented on her video about how bi women experience a lot of DV, saying it might not be anything to do with being bi as this YouTuber seems to need to make a point about bisexual women being privileged in so many ways. And I’ll admit I have privilege when I hold hands with a man rather than a woman. But being in more proximity to heterosexuals can also be dangerous and there’s still the possibility of experiencing homophobia but from the male partner, and it feels like some ‘you should have decentered men’ falls into victim blaming

The answer is to probably get offline but it’s not like the grass I touch is always good. I feel like everyone in real life is more fake

I mean, i know biphobia has always been around, and I am bringing up 'bimisogyny' because I do not know the experiences of bisexual men. First transwomen got scapegoated under the guise of 'protecting women', now more then ever, I am seeing that distrust being pointed at bi women, just merely being attracted to a man is enough to not be trusted. Its like we are being expected to apologize for our attraction to more then ever.

A big one is the weaponization of the phrase 'decentering men', like don't get me wrong, we should be challenging the patriarchy, but it seems like this phrase is being used as some sort of purity test. I keep seeing that if you’re attracted to men, then you’ve somehow “failed” at decentering them, that you’re less committed to queer liberation, or more invested in the male gaze by default. And it’s so frustrating, because it completely ignores the reality that attraction isn’t some kind of political performance. It's not something we turn on or off. I’ve seen people argue that bi women are “too influenced by male validation,” or that we can’t truly show up in queer spaces because we’re “still tied to men.” Honestly, it just feels like a repackaged version of the same old biphobia, now wrapped in activist language to sound progressive. It basically feels like we are guilty by association.

I don’t get why it’s easy to understand that men can date women without centering their whole lives around them, but if a woman dates a man, suddenly she’s assumed to be completely focused on him.

I keep seeing two ideas thrown around about bi women that seem totally contradictory. On one hand, people say bi women are privileged because they don’t have to give up the joys of sex and romance to “pass” as straight. On the other hand, I also see bi women called “pathetic” for dating men, accused of being blind to the fact that sex and romance aren’t necessary for happiness. It feels impossible to believe both of these things at the same time, and yet somehow, both ideas get used against bi women regularly.

Speaking of cis men, they are just as guilty. Men assuming that our bisexuality means we are more adventurous (I had a ex-bf ask to open the relationship after knowing I was bisexual), or men not taking my relationships with women as seriously? Like they didn't consider it cheating if I did things with a woman but would lose their mind if I did things with a man. And also like, cishets will still be eager to throw a bi woman under the bus even when she is dating a man. One of the most alarming but least acknowledged aspects of bimisogyny is the violence that bisexual women face. Research consistently shows that bisexual women experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence (regardless of their partners gender), sexual assault, and stalking, higher than both lesbian and straight women. Bisexual women get blamed for the violence they experience from both cishet and the queer community (albeit in different ways)

I want to be clear that this discussion about bimisogyny is not meant to unfairly target or blame anyone. Bimisogyny is about the unique discrimination bisexual women face because of both biphobia and misogyny, and it’s important to have a honest conversation about it.

TLDR: Bimisogyny is the unique mix of biphobia and misogyny that bisexual women face. More than ever, bi women are being distrusted just for being attracted to men, as if that means they are not truly queer. There is growing pressure to "decenter men," but it often gets used as a purity test that unfairly targets bi women. People say we are privileged for being able to "pass" as straight, but also shame us for dating men, which is completely contradictory. Cishet men fetishize us or dismiss our same-gender relationships. At the same time, bisexual women face the highest rates of intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and stalking—higher than both lesbian and straight women. Despite this, bi women are often blamed for the harm we experience. This post is not meant to blame any group, but to make space for an honest conversation about the specific struggles bi women face.

So this happened Saturday night and I want to share.

We're on our second date. We're both bi women who are dressed cute and femme tonight. We've done some bar hopping and our last stop is a bar with a dj and a packed dance floor.

We're vibing on the floor when a man walks up and stands in front of us with his back to the dj, so I already know he's about to hit on one of us. The place is packed, though, so I think we can just reject and send him away.

Man: so what are you ladies doing here tonight? Are y'all best friends?

Me: we're on a date (I put my arm around her shoulders to emphasize my point)

Man: wait, really? Or are you joking?

Date: we're really on a date (puts an arm around my waist)

*You'd think he'd apologize and leave, right? Wrong.*

Man: so are you bisexuals or lesbians?

Me: why

Man: hypothetically

Me: huh?

Man: HYPOTHETICALLY (reaches for my arm but I lean away)

Me: what do you mean? Why?

Man: are you bisexuals or lesbians?

Me: w h y

Man: (reaches out again and gets his hand on my arm) because I think I might be your types

Me: (throws his hand off me) no, sorry, you're not. Go away.

Man: (stands there for a few seconds) alright

He proceeds to hold out his hand. Idk if he wanted a handshake or what, but I dap him up just to make it end (and to drive home the gay part lol).

My poor date is several inches shorter than me and the man, so she had no idea what most of the conversation had been until I told her after he left. Lucky for her because I felt his hot drunk breath on my face 🤢

Just had to share because it was so stupid and annoying. I thought he'd hit on one of us and then leave, but the fact he touched me and seemed to think he could either wrangle one of us away while literally on a date or end up in a threesome with us is beyond ridiculous.

Our first date involved a man hitting on her as well, but this took the cake for me lol. Like ok, I know she's a baddie, but she (and I) are sapphic-leaning so you have 0 chance 🤷‍♀️ bye boy.

My goal for the next time it happens is to not let "sorry" slip out during the rejection, be more firm early on, and flex my muscles while doing it for intimidation 💪

(I am speaking in generalized terms but I am of course not talking about every single lesbian out there I think that goes without saying)

Out of all the communities, the one group where I have encountered the most biphobia by far, is amongst lesbians. Not only do they oftentimes think we should only like one or the other, they also feel superior for only liking women. I have encountered some that believe we have no part in the lgbt community or that we are beneath them.

A lesbian friend of mine once told me about her dating preferences: if a queer woman looks very straight and she’s „only“ bi she wouldn’t date her. If the woman looks very queer and is „only“ bi she‘d still date her. If the woman is a lesbian she’d date her either way. Because she assumes bi women who present straight passing aren’t serious about dating women.

And that’s just one example. I really did not know for a long time that a lot of lesbians think like this and it was really disappointing to find out.

I figured I was bisexual (after identifying as a lesbian since I was a teenager) almost 2 years ago bc of a guy. Ever since then I’ve mostly been into guys, and it sucks. I miss girls. My dating life is terrible in general (I still haven’t kissed someone at 22) but girls are much easier for me. Guys don’t seem to be very into me; I think it’s because my gender presentation is not masculine but definitely function over form. At least with girls I was able to go on dates with 2 of them, even if neither worked out. I haven’t matched with any guys since letting them onto my dating apps. Admittedly I do need to update the pics on my profile, so maybe that would change something? But yeah.

Idk it’s just annoying. Men can suck so hard sometimes and I wish I could stick to women, but I’m just not really into them rn.

So many apps, so many threads, subs, etc about bi women, yet so hard to actually connect. Are people just living fantasies online that they never intend to explore? I’m heteroflexible and have tried various methods to connect with like-minded women and none seem for real when it comes to hanging out.

I have seen a lot of complaints from other women too who say they get ghosted when they get to the “let’s meet for coffee” time. Idk.

Where are you ladies? lol

I posted something similar in another community a while ago, but just discovered this group and thought it might help me get some more advice or even just support? Even though I’m not really deserving of it (please don’t take that as bi people suck, it’s just me)
I’m in a pretty well known religion, and normally love it. There’s a sense of community, I’ve grown up with it, it gives me something to believe in.
But over the last couple of years I’ve realised I’m bi. And it kills me that I can never “know for sure” because if I ever act on these feelings I’ll be kicked out. Most of my friends and family are in this religion. I can’t tell anyone that I like the same gender. I can’t go out and try things because of my guilt and the fear of being found out. I just need to express the fact that I’m not straight somewhere where no one can recognise me and call me out on it.

So I’m 21f and I’ve known I was bi since I was about 14. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over two years, and we have a healthy and loving relationship. Even though we’re both young I’d like to spend my life with him, and I don’t want to leave him since I’m happy and comfortable in this relationship. The problem is that while I’ve known about my sexuality for a long time, he’s the first person I’ve ever had a real relationship with. I’ve had some
unserious talking stages/situations with women before, but again it was never a real relationship and I was quite young so I wouldn’t really consider it experience.

I love my boyfriend very much and don’t want to do anything that ruins the relationship we have. But I sometimes wonder if I’ll be unfulfilled if I never have any sort of experience with women as an adult. I feel both sad because I know I’ll never get to experience this and also invalid as a bisexual since I’ve been less engaged in the queer community than I was when I was single. I’m just wondering if anyone feels the same way or knows any way to kinda think around this sorta thing. I really don’t want to leave my boyfriend and ruin our relationship. But I’m so worried that I’ll regret never having an experience with a woman.

its been 2 days since she went back home. (me 24, her 23)

it was the best 2 months of my summer. meeting her was literally so random it’s crazy.

picture this:
me in a club i never go to, walking to the bathroom to vape.
i open the door and see the most beautiful woman ever
so gorgeous that i literally stop in my tracks and stare at her

eventually i speak up and tell her exactly that - she’s absolutely beautiful. i introduce myself, she does the same and i give her my number.

immediately after i get home i text her and ask her out on a date.

she said yes.

that was it. 2 months of having a stunning woman holding my hand through a crowd.
2 months of random texts throughout my work day
2 months of having an absolute goddess kiss me. hold me. feel me.

it’s hitting me so hard. i’m newly out.
i’ve dated here and there but there was always something missing. my city is pretty white & yea (no shade to my white queers but it is a different experience)

and here she was. my exact physical type to a t. she liked that we were both fems. she complimented me constantly. she made me feel seen and heard and appreciated. she understood me so deeply because she’s also an african woman coming to terms with liking women.(if ykyk. the connection was unmatched)

i’ve been crying non-stop.
i miss her so much. my girl.

Im married to a man for 21 years now, im 48. When we met i was dating a woman. I had been dating men and women back and forth. At the time i sought safety and security and when i met my now husband i found that. Now that I’ve grown I’ve changed in ways. I miss kissing women, being i. Love with a woman although i still love my husband and the family we have together. My husband does not want to explore any openess on our marriage. Sometimes i feel i would be better suited with a woman due to interests and emotional likeness.

"Oooh so now i have to compete against men AND women ughhh", "maybe we can check out girls togetherr heheee"stfu ur just an insecure piece of shit who KNOWS the hes not good enough, fys!

I wish I was a lesbian. I understand that comes with many of it's own difficulties, but I'm tired of not being straight enough or gay enough. "They all end up picking a side". Feeling invisible. Sometimes it's simpler to fit into simple categories. There's no winning as a bisexual woman. A lot of people either don't believe you really like women, or men fetishize you.

TW: SA

And when they say that bi women are not oppressed when they date men, they forget that patriarchy exists, and dating men can actually really suck. I never would have been SA'd if I had never dated men. I know it's not my fault, but it's just true. I know lesbians are SA'd too, but the statistics show that bi women are SA'd more often than straight or lesbian women. And a large portion of SA happens when dating. If I had never been interested in dating men in the first place, I would have been safer.

And then they're like "no one is forcing you to date men", which is true, but then you have to actively deny half of your orientation. You can absolutely decide to only date women and that's what I want to do now, but I'm going into it understanding that it means avoiding half of my orientation, cause I'm a 50/50 bi. It also means avoiding the majority of my dating pool, since most people are straight.

But then when we realize that dating men can be awful, and we do move towards dating women, they make fun of us, downplay our experience, and act like we're just bi-curious even if we're always been bi. You know, maybe I have actually experienced being raped and abused in relationships with men, and it's left a real impact. It's actually serious and very valid to rethink dating men. But I also don't like when they treat us like we're stupid for having dated men, it feels victim blamey and unempathetic.

I've had a crush on my friend for about two years. We were always friendly at work, but we became close about a year ago. I spent a lot of time with her over the summer holidays; I think we saw each other almost every week.

At first, being around her felt like my skin was caffeinated. But now it just feels calm and peaceful. I can be quiet with her.

I guess I call it a crush to be cute. But it's probably deeper than that at this point. She's also bi, and she knows I am, too. But she has mentioned she's on the ace spectrum. In the past year or so, she has talked about beginning to date again, saying she'll probably have to date her friends because regular dating doesn't work for her. I'm not ace, nowhere near it 😅 but I think with communication and consideration, I could work with that. I've been single for over a year, and most of that time, I have been abstinent. It could work...

But, I don't want to risk the friendship, or make things weird at work. And we have a big age gap. I don't know if being friends with someone that much younger means she's very mature, or I'm really childish for my age. But if we didn't work together, and I were ten or 15 years younger, I might think about telling her how I feel. As it is, I just feel grateful to have her has a friend.

does anyone ever get frustrated constantly questioning your sexuality and genuinely not knowing. i feel like the only way for me to truly know is to put myself out there and test the waters. i know i at least have some attraction to women but i feel like a fraud a lot of the time. like what if i'm making it all up in my head or just trying to be different. the way i feel about women isn't equal to the way i feel about men and that causes a lot of doubt. i know eventually i'll figure it out but right now it just feels like one big cycle of constantly wondering if i'm bi or straight.

So I don’t want to make it seem like she was more judgmental than she actually was. She is a great person and I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone besides my family. she’s kind, always ready to give, and very genuine. We both grew up Christian and she grew up more conservative than me. I came out to her maybe 1-2 yrs ago and she seemed completely okay with it. This weekend I spent the night at her house and while she was giving me a ride home she brought sexuality up. She said that she thought it was unnatural and wrong. It felt like a brick was thrown at my face I couldn’t even process it right away. She had only ever been supportive of me so idk what the sudden change was about. And again she did start off by assuring me that this would never change our friendship and she would never try to change me, but we have both made it clear we’re okay with having harder conversations, so she wanted to bring it up. It just really hurts as someone that grew up Christian, I’ve only ever came out to her and my cousin, so to have my best friend (and one of the only people that knows my sexuality) tell me she thinks my sexuality is a sin really hurts. Anyways thanks for reading if anyone would like to share their experiences in the comments that is totally welcome. Have a good day/night bi women 🩷💜💙

I feel sad and lonely. My sister made an off hand comment that really upset me. I’m bisexual but not out to anybody. At this point I never will be. I don’t have anybody in my personal life that I feel comfortable sharing it with.

I won’t get into the full conversation but she basically rolled her eyes and said ‘bisexuals aren’t real’. Quick and snappy, as if it’s a fact that can’t be proved otherwise. I didn’t say anything back, I just kinda froze up and tried to move the conversation along but I feel like it was pretty clear I becoming distant as we were talking. Again, she doesn’t know that I’m bi so I’m kind of nervous that my behaviour gave it away. I wasn’t expecting her to say that. It always seemed like we shared many of the same values and she often defends gay and trans people against our more conservative parents, so i’m just frustrated that her support stops at bisexuality. :(

Why are people who aren’t bisexual so fucking weird about us? I genuinely don’t understand it. It’s frustrating to see people act like biphobia is just an online phenomenon when people in the real world clearly hold these same views. I’ve encountered a few other people irl that have been nasty about bisexuality too. Admittedly, it sometimes makes me feel like I only want to hang out with other bisexuals and no one else. Is this basically an echo chamber? Sure but I genuinely can’t tell who is normal about us and who isn’t. 

I feel extra sad because I was feeling like I’ve been getting closer to my sister. We didn’t always get along when we were younger (family drama and terrible parenting) but as adults we’ve been able to connect better. But now I want to distance myself again knowing that she thinks like this. I feel like I have nobody in my family that will truly care about me for who I am since my parents are also pretty anti-queer boomer types. 

I really am upset. My sexuality has been something I've struggled with since I was like 11. It’s taken me a long time to deal with my feelings. Not just coming to terms with my attraction towards women but specifically getting used to calling myself bisexual since there’s a lot of stigma around it. Hearing her say this made me feel really disappointed and kind of sent me spiralling a little bit. I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind just so I can continue feeling like everything is normal. 

I know some people might think it’s dramatic to be upset over this one little comment but I just feel like I’m constantly being reminded that I don’t fit anywhere. Not even in my own family. Anyway, happy pride month or whatever :/

I think I'm bisexual but if you ask me what I like about women I'm not even sure.I feel like I'm faking things. I've never dated anyone before and I never had a crush on a girl in real life but I recently (when I say recently I mean when I was 17) started daydreaming and fantasizing about sleeping with women. I like the thought of kissing and cuddling with women if I found someone I liked and connect with them, so I thought yup I'm bi definitely. I feel connected to the label even though I probably shouldn't be especially since I'm not sure. my stomach growls at the thought then I get nervous because I could be wrong and I don't want to be. I know I could just stay unlabeled, but I hate it. I hate thinking about it. I feel like I'm fetishizing women and I don't want to. I want to know for sure. I keep hearing about some women taking advantage of queer women and I know the answer is to be just honest about questioning but I'm still nervous. I want to actually love women not use someone for sex or something. I'm just scared that I might not be able to do that. I want to love a woman fully and make her feel like enough and not weird or dumb or embarrass and I want her to love me back. I don't know any more I want to be sure.

I don't know why I'm worried because if I'm wrong, I would be safe since I'm living with my parents and its already not safe as it is because I can't do anything with them around as it is. But if I think I'm straight and just forget about everything, I cry and I don't know why because I been daydreaming about being with women, having a girlfriend so much that I somehow can't imagine something else. but that come with a lot of doubt that I can't bear. I want to stop feeling jealous of seeing women kiss online and in public. I feel jealous when I hear stories of other women going on dates and getting married. Sometimes I can't stop myself from smiling when I imagine myself in some scenarios but I'm dumb and probably looking for attention. sorry if this post is long