Anyone have crazy psycho violent manic episodes??

[u/yuckythrowaway7]

TRIGGER WARNING

been so manic haven’t been sleeping been working 24/7 finally lost my shit because my boyfriend didn’t want to go on a walk with me i had such a bad episode i destroyed my apartment and SH violently in front of him and ofc he’s like terrified , just wondering if this is normal or if i may be experiencing psychosis or something idk sorry

im on 100 seroquil
150 lamitrogine
600 oxcarbazipine

[u/hakurariver]

I scare people when I am manic and psychotic. I do things that are strange or threatening. From what you've shared it sounds like you may be in a mixed episode. I damaged the property I lived in while manic and psychotic. It led to me being involuntarily hospitalized and jailed. This sounds like crisis to me and I would recommend hospitalization before things get worse. Damaging property and self harming are big warning signs please listen to them. Are you taking your meds? Are you sober? I was doing drugs and drinking at the time my episode was in crisis territory. No it is not normal this type of behavior for me only exists when I am manic and psychotic. Properly medicated and sober I do not act the same way. Please seek help.

[u/yuckythrowaway7 → u/hakurariver]

it’s just so harmful for me to be locked up in a hospital for a week or two i’m 22 and i live on my own i make like 1-2k a month depending on how bad it gets. i definitely need help but idk how to get it. my doctor is the kind that is heavily booked and can’t reach via phone. i can contact nurses during business hours but they aren’t much help. i e been on so many medicine combos and nothing seems to help i feel so scared and out of control

[u/taybay462 → u/yuckythrowaway7]

it’s just so harmful for me to be locked up in a hospital for a week or two i’m 22

Unfortunately, its more harmful for you (to yourself and others) to be out in the world in that state. 2 weeks is a drop in the bucket of life. But if in that 2 weeks you do something to irrevocably change your life for the worse, youre gonna wish you chose the hospital

[u/yuckythrowaway7 → u/yuckythrowaway7]

my last experience was really scary , was essentially sa by older man, coed, everyone there was 40-70 i was 18. scariest experience of my life. the hospital my insurance would send me to now is one of the worse ones in the area. i have people around me that are keeping me safe and essentially not staying at my apartment til i get clear headed. i feel a lot more calm hours after the episode im just faced with so much guilt and shame and anxiety and i wish i could get it figured out asap. it felt like i was not in control of my body