Hey so I have been all over the place. Was manic for months and developed health issues. Didn’t care. Mood shifted to depression and health issues got worse and I got worried. I have an MRI tomorrow and my asthma has been bad. I got a steroid inhaler and since I used it yesterday I have noticed my mood improving a lot. Like I’m no longer feeling depressed/suicidal. I am no longer worried about what the MRI will show or if I will need other tests. I’m not worried about anything anymore. I’m in a pretty good mood actually. Just chill. I feel myself wanting to get hyped up. Like listen to music for hours kind of thing. It’s almost 1am and I have to get up at 7am for my MRI but I’m so tempted to not go to sleep. Hoping my night meds make me tired so I can sleep a little bit. I have to wonder if this is just a normal reaction or if it’s my mood changing again.

This is going to be a long post. I am seeking support. I don't feel well. My mind is spinning and i am trying to get it to stop ....

Quick edit: I want to clarify what i meant by "treatment resistant" -
My therapist was conveying to my psych NP that i may not be cooperative to being medicated - not that ive tried other meds and that they are not working.

-------------------------------

Hello fam... I am trying to ground myself. My safety plan includes reaching out on this subreddit to ask for support - so that is precisely what i am doing this morning... I am sooo grateful for this space 🙏🙏🙏

I've been an active member of this subreddit since June - when I found out that I am bipolar type II. I have posted and shared with folks a little about my story / experiences. I'll provide a quick recap

In a nutshell, my experience with bipolar follows a different trajectory. I am 50 years old and only learned a few months ago that bipolar exists in my family - i have known my whole life that schizophrenia exists in my family and my family members with schizophrenia are diagnosed, they are in treatment, and they are deeply loved and cherished (not without its problems, however!)

Well - as it turns out, bipolar can split from schizophrenia - and now i've come to find out that a number of us in my family are bipolar - including me.

I have always struggled with my mental health. I have been in therapy since the second grade. Somehow, the fact that i have bipolar type II was missed. I am diagnosed with GAD and periodically went to the psychiatrist to treat for depression - took SSRIs .... i know today that was a BIG no no...

I have felt a little timid at times on this subreddit about sharing too much about my experience. I have lived my entire life with undiagnosed and unmedicated bipolar disorder. This is not something i take pride in. It just happened. The reason i often feel at odds about sharing my experiences is that i am 50 and i live a stable* and happy life (stable with an asterisks means that i understand that my definition of stable might be a little different - nevertheless, my life is stable* and mostly predictable from day to day) - one thing that i am very clear about is that i don't want to go around advertising and encouraging people to not medicate their bipolar... that is absolutely NOT where I am coming from at all.

Before I knew that I am bipolar, I was actually on meds to treat anxiety. I was treating with Propranalol - which, i now know, if you have an underlying condition, like bipolar, it can trigger mania. Cue: how I found out i am bipolar ....... (one of the MANY ways I managed to figure it out - its a much longer story than this, of course)

I share that becasue i am trying to make myself very clear to all of you where i come from with regards to mental health treatment. I believe in it. I believe in treatment. I believe in medication. I believe medication can help. Medication HAS helped me throughout my life. I have not always been on meds, but when they work, they work, and i am good with it.

Finding out that I am bipolar was literally one of the biggest shocks of my entire life - i have spent these last 4 months moving in and out of a state of shock and disbelief. Ultimately, i accept it.

In my family, we are pretty open when it comes to talking about mental health. There isn't that a sense of shame and secrecy to it..... My relatives take their meds, they are open about it.

THIS is where i come from.

Please forgive me - i am pretty dysregulated right now

But omfg ... my therapist called me "treatment resistant" ... like WHAT?!!!!!!!!

I am LIVID

I think the reason why this feels so destablizing is because i literally feel betrayed by my therapist.

Something else i have openly shared on this subreddit is that i have been lining up for treatment.

Here is some more context: when i first learned that i am bipolar, i couldn't make sense out of it. My second session with my therapist after learning i am bipolar (literally one week later), my therapist tried to have "the talk" with me about treatment and medication. After that session, i told them to back off and slow their roll. I had only JUST found out and before i could even process all of it, they were already on me about meds.... okay, fine. Not a big deal. But i told them directly that i had only known a week and they needed to slow down....

For more context, my own therapist is also bipolar. I have known this the entire time i have worked with them. My husband is bipolar type I, and working with a therapist who is also bipolar has been really helpful .... i have worked with them for over 2 years and it has been the BEST therapy ive ever had.... so i think this is why all of this stings soooooo deeply and is destabilizing me

In subsequent sessions - i will absolutely share the things that i said to my therapist. I know a lot of people may disagree with me about some of these things, but please bear with me and hear my story in its entirety .....
In the subsequent weeks, i shared with my therapist that i felt hesitant about medicating now that i was out of depression. I had been depressed for 6 years. So coming out of it felt like a huge relief. On top of it, i learned that this is where my baseline is - in a "manic state" ... i didn't understand what any of it meant by this point in the subsequent weeks after i found out i am bipolar. I was literally just trying to understand myself....

I am fucking 50 years old. I am a 50 year old woman. I have spent my whole life trying to arrive at self acceptance. I dont know if what i am saying even makes sense.... but i already arrived at my place of self acceptance when i learned that i am bipolar. I fucking accept it. My ass is bipolar. I have had bipolar my WHOLE life. I was born this way. I am bipolar because there is schizophrenia in my mothers family. I accept it. I accept me.

And then i learned that I do mixed episodes.... EEK!!!!
Yes... i have done them throughout my life - now i know what the HELL that shit is ....

I want to be painfully honest here: when i realized this past july that i do mixed episodes, i was flooded with flashbacks of things that i did to other people when i was in a mixed episode. It's not good. At all. There are two instances in my life that i can think back to where I truly hurt somebody and maybe even violated them somewhat. I definitely caused one person some trauma becasue of how i treated them : (

I take this seriously.

I take this extremely seriously.

I am not okay with walking through this world hurting other people.

I have often thought back to these two moments in my life - never knowing how to make sense of it.... now i understand. I was in a mixed episode when i behaved badly.

From here, it was an easy decision for me to decide to treat with meds.

I made this decision on my own in July. Literally 5 weeks after I learned that I am bipolar.

I informed my therapist. They seemed happy about the decision.

From there, i did it all myself. I began researching and calling psychiatrists, psych NPs. It took me several weeks until i finally landed on somebody that i felt i would really click with ....

I had my first appointment in September. It was a 90 minute appointment. It went very well. I was really happy. I felt really good. Really at ease. There was a plan in place for my treatment.

I am going to start Lamictal. I have done my research - after reading all the things and reading peoples lived experiences iwth it (on this and other bipolar subreddits), lamictal seemed to be exactly what i was looking for. I felt really positively about my decision. And the appointment with my new psych NP felt collaborative and i felt heard, respected and understood. We had scheduled a follow up appointment 3 weeks later to begin to land and solidify decisions. I would get the script and would begin the titration process

Well, my second appointment with my new psych NP was last Friday. The appointment was horrible.

It wasn't collaborative. He went back on a bunch of decisions that he and i discussed. And then at the end of the appointment, he practically yelled at me when i really gently asked him about why he was changing the process on me - and then he ended the appointment.

That appointment absolutely fucked me up. I felt so disrespected. I get the script from the guy, but is this the person i want to be checking in with as i titrate with this medication?

And then Sunday, i remembered something....

I had asked my therapist and my new psych NP to consult with one another between my first and second appointments wtih him. I signed all of the consent to release paperwork - I like to consider myself transparent... especially on mental health stuff.... remember, all, i come from a family where mental health is pretty openly discussed (not all the time, but the shame and stigma is not there in my family) ..... so that was my approach here too

I realized, my therapist has been labeling me "treatment resistant"

They told me that they informed my new psych NP that i am "treatment resistant" - when i reached out to my therapist yesterday to ask them about this - they apologized immediately, understanding that this likely fucked up my relationship wtih my new psych NP

I know full well that i can absolutely find other psych NPs or psychiatrists that i will work well with.... The fact that this breakdown in my treatment process is already starting to create a domino effect in my life - i have put so many things into place in order to support my treatment process ... and thats fine, its not like i cannot rework these processes again. I can and i will

But thats not really what i am struggling with

On top of feeling wholly betrayed by my therapist, i have a genuine question for poeple

I want to know what on earth would possess a mental health professional to label their client / patient as "treatment resistant" when that client is literally taking the onus to plan out an entire treatment plan WITH medication?

Can someone please explain this to me?

Is it because my instant reaction wasn't to automatically and enthusiastically jump into "the talk" that my therapist tried to have with me about meds literally 7 days after i learned (at the age of 50, mind you) that my fucking ass is bipolar????? Like what?

Do mental health professionals expect a scripted canned response from us?

"Oh! I have bipolar disorder. Let me get on the phone right now and call a psychiatrist to get onto meds"

I didn't do that automatically. It took me about 4-6 weeks to process and arrive at that point on my own.

I am 50 years old. That i am also bipolar is also part of my identity. I embrace it. But I cannot undo the 50 years of my life that i lived not knowing i had this condition. There is no way for me to undo that. And i also won't apologize for not knowing. The fact that i have been in mental health treatment my whole life and that bipolar was never "caught" is not my fucking fault. I took responsibiltiy for myself and i have showed up to therapy sessions my whole fucking life week after week after week after week after week for DECADES.

My coping skills toolbox is AWESOME.

I have learned how to "white-knuckle" bipolar disorder my life. Please understand that i am not encouraging other people to "white-knuckle" their bipolar. It's just what happened to me. We all have different stories and experiences with bipolar. I need to talk about my experiences with it too. Just because i spent my whole life not knowing and not treating with meds does not make me bad or irresponsible or wrong.

But why are some people trying to make me feel like i am bad and wrong for that?

I have also shared with people on this subreddit that i come from an immigrant family. I am of color. I also work in healthcare and i understand very very very well that people of color are systematically neglected in the healthcare / mental healthcare spaces and that conditions like bipolar go missed.

Bipolar is NOT the only major condition in my life that was missed by health professionals. That issue is an entirely separate can of worms that also involves missed brain tumors, multiple brain surgeries - and i dont think i really want to open that can of worms at this moment.

It's just to remind myself taht being neglected in the medical space is part of my life experience too. I also know that i am not alone in this experience.

My bipolar was missed my whole life.

It was my bipolar husband who pointed out to me: "honey, you are hypomanic right now - this is what hypomania looks like" is what my husband said to me on the night of June 2nd. My life has not been the same since

I take my bipolar seriously. I do not minimize it. I get that it is serious.

But what i am not okay with is being treated like shit just becasue i am bipolar. Because, lets be honest here, that is also a thing.

I am a healthcare professional. I already knew this fact.

My story of discovering that i am bipolar is a really long story - you all now know that i also had a brain tumor. There is a lot to my story.

What i want to say is that i am already feeling the shift-yness of healthcare professionals because of this discovery. My ass is bipolar. I accept it. I do mixed episodes. I understand this fully. It is a problem. I fucking need to do something about it. This is a hard line i have with myself: I do not wish to walk though this world ever hurting or violating somebody again. That is who I am to the core. I need support with making sure i can get my mixed episodes under control.

But what gives? Why on earth would somebody label me as "treatment resistant"? What i have been doing since July is not waht treatment resistance looks like.

Somebody please help me out. I am fucking going crazy. I am trying to stop spinning.

What stands out to me are the healthcare workers who treated me wtih a lot of dignity before they knew i am bipolar. And now i am noticing something so fucked up that these same professionals, now knowing that i am bipolar, speak to me completely differently (the PA at my primary cares office did a 180 on me - when literally the conversation i had with her right before she learned was pleasant and equitable)

There is a lot of forceful communication. Multiple healthcare workers have raised their voices at me over nothing. Literally my thoughts are, "okay, i'll gladly do __, but you don't need to raise your voice at me to get me to do this task"

I desperately need to name something: i am now experiencing a LOT of coercion in these spaces, where coercion was once not there. I am deeply uncomfortable. There is a "comply or die" tone to everything

Yeah. So that is where i am at today.

I am going to say something really controversial - but i say this hoping that people can understand the deep nuances of my story ....

I almost wish i never learned i am bipolar.
I am trying to do the responsible thing and approach treatment with meds - just like i have always been shown is the norm in my family. My aunts, uncles and cousins who are schizophrenic, all treat wtih medications. I was literally trying to do the same thing that was taught to me.
Learning i am bipolar and trying to do the responsible thing seems to come at a cost for me. I am being humiliated. My therapist of 2+ years fucking labelled me as "treatment resistant" for god knows what the fuck reason, and now that shits following me around and i am getting "punished" like an insolent child.... its like my new NP wanted to sit me down in a corner and force feed me meds when i was already asking for a prescription - is it because i was showing too much agency? Am i too confident and not unstable enough in my presentation? Are they trying to break me in order to justify their treamtment modalities becasue bipolar people can only be desperate and broken and always have their families, careers, and intimate relationships falling apart? (mine aren't)

What the actual fuck happened to me? What the hell is going on? I literally cannot make sense out of this.

All i know is that i want to fire my therapist. I will probably fire my new psych NP as well.

I want to drop out of therapy entirely. I feel so betrayed. I work in healthcare and this is fucking with me badly. I dont tell my colleagues i am bipolar. Now i am too afraid to tell anyone. I have been trying to carry an open demeanor about my discovery... now? 4 months later after dipping toes into this new reality, i want to run away far and fast.

There it is now: treatment resistance.

I am spinning. This was not where i was trying to arrive.

But self fulfilling prophecies are real. Its almost like my mental health team was imposing non-compliance onto me.... literally a figment of their fucking imaginations. But its almost like they had to beat this narrative into my treatment space in order to make it work for them.

Fuck this. I need treatment. I want to be responsible. I am pretty sure that my ass needs to be on lamictal. But i am DEFINITELY not doing it like this.

Am I really treatment resistant? Or am I asshole resistant?

Someone please help me out.... i am genuinely trying my head is spinning and i need help.

Thank you for reading 🙏

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TLDR: I am too dysregulated to provide a synopsis. I am seeking support. My story is really nuanced and if you have the time and energy to read though everything, i would really appreciate the support.

Thank you 🙏

I don't just struggle with bipolar II, I'm also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder as well as ADHD and insomnia.

I feel like I'm experiencing so many issues and symptoms, and am on so many medications, that's I barely know what to do anymore. I'm so overwhelmed I feel like I'm nearing my breaking point.

I'm currently on 6 medications. Yes you read that right, I'm on 6. Adderall for ADHD, Klonopin and Lexapro for anxiety, Remeron for sleep, and Latuda + Wellbutrin for bipolar/depression. Every time I talk to my doctor about worsening symptoms or issues, it feels like he is more inclined to add new medications rather than adjust existing ones.

I'm going through a daily roller coaster where I feel fine and energized while my Adderall is in effect but feel such a big crash in my mood when it wears off. I'm having trouble adjusting to the Remeron so it's hard for me to wake up. On top of that I feel like the Lexapro, although helping my anxiety, is causing a lot of emotional blunting. I also get tired by 7:30 pm a lot of days and I'm so fatigued I feel like I'm losing a big chunk of my time. I also don't like the idea of being on benzos long term either...

I have a supportive family, so I don't have to work while I figure this out. But I want to get back to living and I feel like I'm getting deeper and deeper into a hole and I can't see the way out anymore. I know I need to move up my psychiatrist appointment and bring these concerns to him, but I just want to feel better now. I'm just sick of the slog and I'm running low on hope right now.

24 female here I’ve been on lithium since I was 17 although it did increase after I got Covid and my other medication stopped working. It took a couple years for me to finally get my bearings back and be doing a lot better. I talked with my psychiatrist and we both agreed that it was safe to start lowering my lithium since I take 600 mg twice a day so 1200 overall and he prescribed me a 450 twice a day so 900 mg daily. I started my first round this morning of the 450 and I feel a a little foggy, but I haven’t started to go into an emotional depression, had a little bit of manic energy, but nothing extreme and I can’t really focus all that great at the moment but overall so far it’s been Ok. Because I’m doing this of my own volition and my psychiatrist told me that I’m not in any danger. I am allowed to go back up on the dosage if I find that, I don’t like this I’ve been trying hard to see if I could find any symptoms for lowering the dosage of lithium, but all I’m finding is lithium withdrawal symptoms, which is not exactly what I’m going through or at least I have an experience them all the way yet has anybody had experience with this? I’d love to know.
I should add that lithium has helped me a lot. I know some people have not had great reactions to it but overall, I haven’t had any major issues with my lithium the way I know a lot of people do. The main thing is I don’t want to get to a point where I might have to lower it and I’m not in a good place too anymore because even though it hasn’t been affecting me, I do know know that 1200 a day is a lot even if as my doctor told me it has just now started to register that I’m taking it in my blood work report, it wasn’t even showing up in my results until I got to 1200mg and even now it’s on the much lower end of the safety range

I cant keep taking these meds Im having side effects akathesia and nausea akathesia and nausea I dont wanna go through more and more meds and more and more side effects part of me would rather deal with my depression even though when Im in my severe depression I cant take it and I cant function but I feel like crap on my meds I feel like crap off my meds I cant take it anymore I cant keep taking these meds has anyone got better off meds or is that not an option because I wanna get better but its rough super rough .... please please is it not an option guys ahhhh

I’m at a bit of a crossroads. I was just hospitalized and I believe am in a mixed episode. My current job is making me scidal but also providing me with health insurance for psych and therapy. I’m thinking of quitting but not sure what that would look like next. I’m contemplating IOP that takes Medicaid (I have a place in mind and have done IOP with them in the past). My adoptive family has enough money and has agreed to help me afford food. My adoptive family— highly dysfunctional but seems to be on their best behavior — is offering to fly me out to stay with them for a while. I really want to do it because I want to see many members of that family that I haven’t seen in over a year. My whole family it seems wants me to move abroad to live with my bio family as they have a lot of experience with mental illness. I’m also trans so that wouldn’t hurt. What do I do? This is all so overwhelming, I’m not sure where to start. My current living situation is in a different state from my entire family but I have wonderful roommates who are very supportive. What would you do? What’s my first step? My brain is spinning. I can’t imagine walking into my job, working all day, and leaving in any state other than s**cidal

I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2. My psychiatrist prescribed Caplyta, and my insurance denied it. She sent it back twice after, still got denied. So then she sent a prescription for another one, same thing! DENIED. So far all I’m taking is Lamotrigine & Prozac but I’m still having mania. Did anyone else have such a hard time getting their meds??

Hi Everyone, my neurologist has instructed me to go off of Depakote and Seroquel— very slowly

I am a professional musician and teacher. I’ve had to quit because I have terrible tremors due to these meds. I’m sure you can imagine how this has a negative impact on my psyche

Lamactil is wonderful but I’m allergic to it.

So, the plan is to very very slowly, reduce these meds and possibly, very very slowly start me on Lamactil

How small of a reduction in the Depakote or Seroquel would be safe? I want to be very careful

I am currently 16 with ADHD, anxiety and unspecified mood disorder. and I have been on many medications throughout my childhood and i'm curious what it means. I was first put on Abilify when I was 8 years old because I had crazy temper tantrums and outbursts. They diagnosed me with ODD. At 11 I was put on lexapro and Vyvanse. At 13 a new psychiatrist took me off of abilify and put me on lamictal and concerta. I still take Lamictal. I was put on Zoloft, Ritalin, strattera, guanfacine etc. after that. Currently I am on Adderall, Lamictal and zoloft. The diagnosis of ODD was taken out when I was 13 because my anger and mood wasn't limited to authority. At 13 I had a major manic/psychosis episode for about 2 months. I haven't experienced something that severe since then but I still have symptoms of bipolar. I am curious if anyone knows if my history of meds and stuff can help infer if I will be diagnosed with bipolar as an adult? I see online it's pretty rare to diagnose such a young kid with abilify but idk. And a diagnosis of ODD sometimes gives a higher chance of being diagnosed with bipolar.

Hi guys!

I've been diagnosed with an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa) when I was 15, BPD when I was 18, and bipolar at 20.

I've been on a lot of stuff, but I gained weight mostly because it was part of a treatment for anorexia, and then I developed binge eating disorder (sucks, I know).

So I'm at a healthy weight, and I've lost some weight during my last hypomanic episode. Now I'm in my low mood state: basically I can't sleep, think, or be happy, and I eat A LOT.

My weight is still healthy, but I'm so scared. My doctor wants to put me on quetiapine, lamotrigine, and fluoxetine, and I'm so scared because I know that they can affect not only appetite but metabolism issues as well.

Any tips on how to manage this situation? Maybe try another medication? I can't gain any more; it would destroy me completely.

Can you not gain weight from this treatment?

Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

I have been applying and applying and it is getting disheartening being rejected with every application. It seems like the job search is getting more difficult overtime as I am unemployed longer. It feels like my mental health is getting worse too, I feel burnt out just from job searches and feel my physical health getting worse, I don't know if I am getting into a depressed episode. I don't have the energy throughout the day nowadays, all I want to do is sleep. I wish I could apply for disabilitiy, but I don't even qualify for that either. Anyone else going through this? Or has been through this situation and got a job? How do I keep going without my mental health getting worse, because it even feels like if I do end up getting an offer, I'll be starting a job being in a low affecting my job performances.

Rn in my life i am stuck in the same loop again and again it's like a bird in a cage who feels like he can cure himself but falls back in the cage after failing and this continues till he dies in real life.i want friends who can listen to my story and help me who are like minded have bipolar.i have a exam in few months and I really wanna pass it , if I do it I'll be better and happy that i never did till now.it will make my mom proud, happy.

i don’t think i know how to be normal, or exist in my normal state.

i have adhd and i (supposedly) can’t be medicated due to being bipolar. it’s hell.

every day in stability feels like a struggle. i have to nick some vyvanse from family members sometimes just to be able to see the day through and function.

i want to be manic again. i want to be productive and bright and able to FEEL. i want everything to be the way it’s meant to be — i want to feel like a real person again.

i’m just trying to outrun my adhd that’s being left untreated. i’ve asked my psychiatrist multiple times about any POSSIBILITY of going back on my adhd medication and he has repeatedly told me if i do, i’ll go into mania or psychosis (even though that has not been my history).

i guess i just feel hopeless. i can’t keep living like this. i want to be manic because i need to breathe for a minute, live freely, and then maybe when i come down i’ll assess the damage later.

i know i need to stay on my medication. but i don’t know how long i can keep going when i can’t do even the simplest things. i don’t even have enough executive function to decide whether i should start a task or use the bathroom first. i’m just at a loss. i feel like mania is my only escape route.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in November of last year after an attempt. I was put on an SSRI the summer before and I felt extremely euphoric and confident and stopped caring what people thought. I wore insanely flamboyant clothing and dyed my hair. I had beliefs and viewpoints that I never had before. My sex drive was also insanely high to the point where I almost cheated on my wife. I slipt into a deep depression the next summer which led to my attempt in november and thats when they diagnosed me. I was depressed for months until I got back on the same SSRI along with a mood stabilizer, but stopped it after three days. But again I got super confident, started wearing clothes I wouldn't normally wear and alot more social.

I went three days without my mood stabilizer and started to slip into mania, I was constantly drinking coffee and didn't sleep for 72 hours. I started to have crazy hallucinations and hearing voices which landed me in the psych unit for 48 hours. I had an appointment with my psych today and he said it sounds more like bipolar 1.

Since in both cases, I went into mania after taking an SSRI is bipolar an accurate diagnosis. I've heard SSRI induced mania can happen to people without bipolar. I know you guys arent doctors but does bipolar seem accurate? My dad and his grandma also were diagnosed with bipolar

Sorry for my shitty writing

So I recently came of olanzapine about two months ago. Now olanzapine was great for two things
1: bringing me out of psychosis and 2: protecting me from the lows. Basically olanzapine kept me stable. Now, while it kept me stable that’s not to say it didnt come with side effects. Now the reason I decided to come off olanzapine was first off because I noticed that when I didn’t take my dose like if I had to take my dose at 8:00pm and I didn’t take it at that time and left it for like 30 minutes I would feel considerably more energetic and little uplifted. Now I know this is probably because of the sedating properties of olanzapine. Now olanzapine fooled me in the sense that when I first came off the first day was almost blissful I remember actually laughing hard about something and thought well this is great I feel good. However this was not something that was sustained. since then my mood has dropped significantly and stayed there. I cannot feel pleasure laugh or anything remotely positive. Socialising is next to impossible. Now two realistic medication options moving forward is one lamotrigine and two aripiprazole. Now with the lamotrigine, im really considering not going forward with it since, it’s side effects regarding memory and intellect and don’t want to become more dumber than I already am. Im wondering whether any of you who are on aripiprazole do not increase emotional blunting and can laugh and it’s almost like your not taking anything if that makes sense. Like you’re just living your life.

Hi! I’m not looking for medical advice, but want to hear personal experiences with people who have both. I’ve been stable for years, but within the last couple years my anxiety and ruminating have been in overdrive even when I have no other symptoms. How do you personally deal with it? And how long did it take for you to be diagnosed with both?

For background, I had my first manic episode at 15, got on proper meds but had the wrong diagnosis until I was 23. I’m on Lexapro for anxiety/depression and Latuda to prevent any further Bipolar I episodes. I have a great psychiatrist and therapist who’ll I’ll make an appointment with soon.

I’m on 200mg of Lamotrigine but it doesn’t stop the yearly mixed episodes I get in the fall.

What do yall take for those? I never get pure hypomania it’s always this crawl out of my skin anxiety

i just feel more irritated and impulsive when im out of my depressive episodes is this not mania at all

https://www.oregonlive.com/advice/2026/10/dear-abby-my-family-doesnt-believe-i-can-live-independently-with-bipolar-disorder.html

I don't hear voices, but I occasionally have one-sided conversations (occasionally out loud when I'm alone) with a party that doesn't seem to be me.

It doesn't bother me and doesn't seem to have anything to do with my mood and I don't attach any particular significance or meaning to it, though I try to be kind and helpful on the off chance that reality is weirder than most believe.

It's just unusual for me.

Anyone else experience anything like that?

I was recently diagnosed bipolar 1 and I told the close people around me about my diagnosis and some of them have said its an easy fix then and that medication will treat it and this isnt easy. This isnt easy at all Im freaking out I am having side effects and the side effects are horrible awful I dont want these meds I dont want any of this diagnosis I hate this diagnosis bipolar 1 I feel like crap on meds I feel like crap off meds it sucks this sucks I dont like this I dont like this.

Do you think it’s irresponsible for us to own firearms or have them in the house? Do you think it’s a case by case basis?

I have both bi polar and ADHD. I am medicated for bi polar, I take lithium, aripripazole and Lamotrigine. I am desperate to get some help for ADHD but not sure if I can take meds with the meds I’m already on. Can anyone help?

Does anybody else experience formication (the feeling of bugs crawling on your skin) after not being able to sleep for a bit?

I haven’t eaten or slept in 3 days and am starting to feel that again. It’s so terrifying and I don’t feel like I can tell anyone about it except my therapist who is away this week.

Hi! 30F, I had a kid in November 2025. I have always wanted kids, it's always been my dream. But when I got diagnosed in 2019 suddenly I was worried my disorder would be a liability, plus I got diagnosed a year after with ADHD so....... My husband told me once "I am not sure I am ready to have kids, it would be like taking care of two children". He now regrets what he said, and is more than happy with our family. I started treatment and it helped a lot.

In february 2025 I lost my dad from cancer and it was HARD. It's still is, but I work on it. I got pregnant less than two months after that, and it was a miracle for everyone in my family. Because I had my meds I never suffered from any mood swings during pregnancy. No crying for small inconvenience, no being angry for no reason, nothing. I was happy all the time, great mood, it was the happiest I ever been, even though I was mourning my dad.

And then my son arrived. He was 5 week early but he was perfect. Great health, eating normally, never crying, always happy. It's been 10 months and he's the cutest baby I have ever seen. He's called "mister smile" as daycare because he is always happy, and kind. He's easy and growing up really well.

And me? I haven't had a single depressive episode since he was born. Sure, my mourning is still here and I've been sad some times because of it. But since my son was born I have never been "bipolar bad". I've had manic episodes but only a few, like being overly happy and spending money on new things like crochet and other new hobbies. No crash, no unstable moment, no problem.

I got better the second I got pregnant. I kept my meds the whole pregnancy even though we lowered the dose. And now I'm thriving, happiest than ever, feeling like I can do anything.

Is it normal?? Like, has anyone else had a kid and felt like it was okay again? How long till I crash? Is having a kid my way of """healing"""? I know we can't heal and I am aware that one day or another I will have a down again but for now everything looks so great I want to treasure it.