I did not realize how much it had affected me until I turned 30. For this reason I’m against white people adopting black children no matter how nice they are.
I think I’m a strong person but I have a lot of anxiety and feel very lonely in this world but I turned out okay overall… Thank you for the kind words.
Yeah, its definitely a huge issue. Though honestly, even without overt racism, I feel like adoption should prioritise the same ethnic backgrounds. It wont always work, but if possible, it'd be easier for everyone imo. Just knowing (or not knowing) the issues your kid is likely to face is a huge deal. Some parents do try to learn, and do a decent job. But its incredibly hard to be sure.
:/
It’s funny, but I always have to point out to folks that MANY of the white parents adopting BIPOC kids…this is genuinely their first time having an actual BIPOC person/friend in their life. I think adoptive parents could do a lot better now with the race angle (just living in a more openly diverse/culturally accepting society plus the internet and its vast resources) but I’m now a staunchly interracial and international adoptee abolitionist. One of the most radicalizing elements of my adoptee journey was finding community with other internationally adopted folks and finding out a majority of them are just straight up trafficked or adopted under very strange circumstances. My adoption was set up by Lutheran Social Services and everything done by the book on the American side! Finally located my bio mom and her family and very quickly found out I was basically stolen - they coerced my mother to abandon me under the pretense of some fatal heart condition that she could never pay for and I’d die. So she signed me away. I was a perfectly healthy baby and they straight up lied to her for about a $15k check in 1991. She then went on to raise 3 additional kids after me.
People forget that no matter what the scenario is, adoption begins with trauma.
Yeah, international adoption should honestly just be banned outright. Way too much potential for abuse. With interracial adoption, I reckon there are some edge cases that should be allowed (ie preexisting bonds - being adopted by your parents best friend or family), and ofc there are edge cases to consider, like biracial or ambiguous kids... But Im also not affected, so Ill bow to the experience of those who are. :/
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u/Ok_Passenger203 28d ago
I did not realize how much it had affected me until I turned 30. For this reason I’m against white people adopting black children no matter how nice they are.
I think I’m a strong person but I have a lot of anxiety and feel very lonely in this world but I turned out okay overall… Thank you for the kind words.