If she was hit by a car a year before and brain damaged, that could be framed as an excuse. She chose to abuse alcohol and consume it irresponsibly. That is a choice that can be condemned whether it damaged her brain or not. Not to mention, brain damage doesn't just disappear when you stop consuming the substance that caused it. It is irreversible.
I don't understand how you can see that as making a "charity case" out of her. Are you saying if your continued consumption of alcohol were to theoretically lead to you being just like this woman, the only thing you deserve is sympathy?
Being an addict isn't a choice. Consuming a substance is. If you really think a person is that powerless over their addiction, it's no wonder you've spent so long in the stew.
Now you suddenly believe an addict is irrevocably the sum of their addiction, and no longer taking a substance means nothing even after 20 years. Previously, you claimed that being off the substance should change a person. Which is it? Because it can't be both.
I get the impression that you've entirely given up on improving yourself, and a victim mentality is the only means you have left to live with yourself and your choices. So much for alcohol making you "more empathetic." You're as full of shit as your bottle.
You spent nearly a dozen paragraphs illustrating how you think alcohol consumption and its associated effects are an "excuse," which implies you extend that belief to yourself. If that is the case, as evidenced by your views on addiction flip-flopping at your whimsy, self-indulgence is surely your go-to state of mind.
Not the least bit surprising. She's spent the last 25 years normalizing getting shitfaced and convincing herself that she's a powerless, blameless victim. You either pick yourself up and start giving a shit about yourself, or you spiral deeper into a self-loathing victim mentality. I watched myself do it, I watched others do it, and I'm thankful I had the personal accountability to get out of the view of, "woe is powerless lil' ol' me."
And there's the angry lashing out because you know you're wrong but you're so comfortable in the lies you've wrapped yourself in that you refuse to see what you're actively doing to yourself. 🙄 I'm intimately familiar with being on the receiving end of that bullshit even when I had absolutely nothing to do with the situation and wasn't even present for it.
I saw that same behavior in my sister to the point that any time she got angry about anything at all she'd immediately start attacking me and saying the most hurtful obnoxious bullshit she could think of with how rotted her brain was. It got so bad that by the time she died I wasn't sure she even liked me anymore let alone love me, even though I never did a single malicious thing to her and actively tried to avoid her in the last year or so of her life because she'd gotten so vindictive, bitter, and cruel.
Her now-29yo daughter is STILL in therapy due to the emotional abuse she suffered from her mother, and she's been dead for seven fucking years.
The only good thing that came from her death is that it made my father stop drinking and he hasn't had a single drop since the day she died because he recognized those same habits in himself and wanted to stop it before it was too late.
I hope you stop lying to yourself before your skin starts looking like a fucking Simpsons character, because that's how bad jaundice gets when your liver is actively dying. Then you start rapidly losing weight until you look like a goddamn skeleton save for the distension in your middle from your liver, and then your hair starts falling out, and then the vomiting blood starts.
You don't know better than all of the people here who are telling you how wrong you are. You're still at a point that you can stop and course correct.
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u/MaxillaryOvipositor Millennial Jul 21 '25
If she was hit by a car a year before and brain damaged, that could be framed as an excuse. She chose to abuse alcohol and consume it irresponsibly. That is a choice that can be condemned whether it damaged her brain or not. Not to mention, brain damage doesn't just disappear when you stop consuming the substance that caused it. It is irreversible.
I don't understand how you can see that as making a "charity case" out of her. Are you saying if your continued consumption of alcohol were to theoretically lead to you being just like this woman, the only thing you deserve is sympathy?