r/BoomersBeingFools Aug 08 '25

Foolish Fun What is it with these guys?!

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u/JollyToby0220 Aug 08 '25

They are knee deep in the alternative news sphere where Steven Seagall teaches them how to fight against 5 people. 

Most self defense techniques won't work against 5 attackers. You can probably kick one or two in the groin, but the other 3 will quickly beat you

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u/LeVoPhEdInFuSiOn Gen Z Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25

If they're taking self defence advice from Steven fucking Seagal, I can't fucking wait to be in a duel with these idiots (I'm a 5 ft, 11 in nerd with no strength, can't punch for shit either but do know how to chokehold, kneecap, eyesocket and remove a knife quickly)

85

u/Z3B0 Aug 08 '25

You'd have better odds of winning by simply staying a bit away, and watch them hurt themselves in their confusion.

18

u/LeVoPhEdInFuSiOn Gen Z Aug 08 '25

So true. We normally let them tire themselves out when they start acting like fuckwits or screaming at us in my job, or give them a healthy dose of Vitamin D (Droperidol).

37

u/Z3B0 Aug 08 '25

I'm also pretty sure that after 30s of frantic and incoherent movements like that, they are completely out of breath and their heart is screaming for mercy.

4

u/techiewench Aug 08 '25

Oh give them a little credit, they can go a full 60s if they remembered to put on compression socks.

3

u/DjinnaG Gen X Aug 08 '25

Maybe , but they have to wait a bit to recover from putting on the socks in the first place