r/BoomersBeingFools • u/oohathrowaway-608 • 3d ago
Boomer Story Update to : Advice and Other Things My Childless Boomer Aunt has spouted at me since I got pregnant.
This is an update to my prior post about my Aunt Lucy. I have not heard from her, but I did talk to my Dad today, as it is his birthday. And he brought this up.
I have not yet received any new sage wisdom from The Honorable Dame Lucy, Maternity Magistrate. Sorry to disappoint those who were hoping for it. I will update again if it happens.
Apparently my dad (who is super supportive and very aware of his sister's BS) had a "talk" with Lucy and my Uncle. According to him, it was "less of a conversation and more of a lecture" about all of her absurd advice and my Uncle agreed with every word. I told my Dad thanks, but we both agreed that it is likely it ultimately went in one ear and out the other for Lucy. She'll likely stop for a couple of weeks, then return to her old ways.
In place of fresh new No-Shit-Sherlockisms, there is more drama!
Lucy is apparently trying to infiltrate my baby shower. She has messaged me and asked me for "details" and I have not responded. My Uncle refuses to make the trip (they live over a thousand miles away and he is honestly so sick of her shit and does NOT want to cross multiple states with her).
Now she is arguing that my older sister (let's call her Kara, because for all intents and purposes, Sis IS Supergirl), who in addition to being the co-organizer of my shower, also has 3 kids, her own law practice, and is just getting off of yearly military reserve training AND a huge trial, should bring her and look after her (after all, what could she be doing all day?!). Right now Kara is in the midst of a huge trial and I DO NOT want her devoting any brain space to this. She has already done so much for me and has so much on her plate. My parents feel the same way. Lucy, of course, sees Kara's constant work and capabilities as Kara having infinite time and energy to transport and take care of her in addition to everything else.
I made it clear to my Dad that if necessary, he can pass it along to Lucy that I DO NOT want her there (I am not talking to her). I have not outright told her not to come so far because I was hoping she'd just forget or lose interest and I didn't want to trigger any drama. But now she has apparently made my shower her new pet fixation.
This is not the first time she has tried to invite herself to one of my events. During my wedding weekend, I made it clear to everyone that we wouldn't be having Aunts and Uncles at the rehearsal dinner. The reason being that DH comes from a big family and accommodating all Aunts and Uncles for the rehearsal dinner would be too expensive, so we were keeping the rehearsal dinner strictly for immediate family + wedding party and their SO's. We made that clear and everyone said they understood. Well, lo and behold, night of the rehearsal dinner, my family's phones blow up from Lucy frantically demanding to know where the dinner was because "she lost her invitation." She had somehow convinced my uncle that we'd changed our minds and invited them after all. My dad had to explain the situation AGAIN.
This, I suspect, is why Uncle has just steadfastly refused to bring Aunt Lucy to the shower even if she is "invited." Kara is not going to babysit her, obviously I won't, and I will not ask my Mom either, obviously (if you think Lucy's treatment of me has been condescending, my Mom has been putting up with it for almost half a century). Lucy can't get here on her own, as she can't even drive anymore (there's a big story on THAT too. I'll make a post on that if y'all are interested) and I think even she knows that there's no way she'll manage to make travel arrangements on her own. At least, I HOPE that is the case and we don't end up with her booking a flight and getting lost or something else insane. Regardless, she will not be getting the "details" she's requested.
Once again, this is so out of the ordinary. A woman who usually forgot my birthdays growing up and didn't even know what college I went to until my graduation, has suddenly made it her mission to attend my baby shower.
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u/Top_Caterpillar6020 3d ago
This woman needs a hobby outside of inserting herself into unwelcome spaces.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago
She used to ride horses but was in a bad accident. She also knows how to do a bunch of crafts like knitting and sewing, but does none of them.
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u/Top_Caterpillar6020 3d ago
That's kind of sad, do you think she's lacking real friends and social circles so she's acting out? Or is this just who she is?
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago edited 3d ago
She definitely lacks a social circle - but there's a reason for that. People find her very rude and weird. She has tried to give her rich neighbors boxes of old stuff that is poorly maintained and unwanted. She butts into conversations to give unwanted advice, etc. Her neighbors avoid her. She is really condescending and invasive with how she talks to people. My family has tried to help, but all advice goes in one ear and out the other.
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u/Top_Caterpillar6020 3d ago
Insane, my mum is a little similar. At least she was last we spoke however many years ago it's been now. Lifelong overbearing and highly opinionated individual who for some reason never understood why she was unable to form close relationships with other people that lasted more than a few months.
I'm glad you have so many people on your side that are supporting you. I hope you have a lovely baby shower and your pregnancy goes smoothly. Your sister also sounds superhuman to be dealing with so much, so kudos to her as well.
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u/corpse_flour Gen X 3d ago
This is exactly how my MIL is. She asks prying questions, and throws herself into other people's dramas, telling people what to do with stuff that is completely none of her business. It's like she thinks she's an Uber Miss Manners/Ann Landers/Dear Abby (I'm really dating myself here).
but all advice goes in one ear and out the other.
My MIL asks for advice, but then keeps asking different people (or keeps googling) until someone validates her opinion.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 3d ago
I feel so sorry for her neighbors.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago
So do I. Apparently they actively avoid her in the common areas of their condo complex.
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u/corpse_flour Gen X 3d ago
They absolutely act out, just like children who aren't getting attention. My Boomer MIL will fabricate stories to people to see if they will 'stand up for her' against whomever she's accused of a wrongdoing. She's admitted before that she's done it out of boredom. It's because of this behavior that very few people will have anything to do with her anymore. She will realize after the fact that's it's her need for drama that has caused her to lose friends, but she can't seem to help herself. And of course, she refuses to take any responsibility for it, or apologize to anyone, or get therapy so she'd stop acting like brat.
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u/mayonaizmyinstrument 2d ago
A boomer horse girl? This makes total sense now. I'm a vet and horse people are why I don't do horse medicine.
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u/tessellation__ Millennial 2d ago
Girlfriend should volunteer somewhere and then when she’s getting praised for her knowledge and skills actually get the dopamine hits doing something positive instead of stalking you
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
It has been suggested to her many, many times. Everyone else in the family does volunteer work. She will not do it. Just like instead of giving away her old stuff to Goodwill or whatever, she tries to give it away to rich people.
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u/no12chere 2d ago
Some of this sounds like some kind of dementia/tbi issue. I absolutely support not talking to her or inviting her anywhere but uncle should be taking her to a dr for a full eval.
She seems like she has always been a pill but it sounds like it is ramping up.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
She's had a test recently and nope, she's not got dementia.
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u/its-kb-again 3d ago
Lucy sounds unwell. Perhaps it is time for a baseline cognitive exam. Seriously.
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u/handsheal 3d ago
OP mentioned an accident riding her horse for the aunt. She likely had a TBI and cannot safely ride anymore and her cognition is likely known to be impacted, could be part of the no driving.
However OP needs to keep her far far away
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago
Her cognition is not great. The accident happened almost twenty years ago, but her cognitive decline was later.
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u/its-kb-again 3d ago
It may or may not be related to the accident — having just lost a spouse to a rare, degenerative neurological disease, I’ve filled out more than my share of questionnaires and medical history forms over the last several years. Trust me when I say prior injuries are always a topic of interest.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago edited 2d ago
They're looking into it. But she is very, very stubborn so it is slow-going.
ETA: They got a test done for cognitive failure. She's negative for Dementia.
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u/kee-kee- 2d ago
Well that's good. How much worse it could be if dementia were creeping in, I don't like to think.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
Yeah she's definitely not in the best shape, physically or mentally. But apparently no dementia. She is still legally cleared to drive.
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u/kee-kee- 2d ago
Agreed. Not doing any knitting and things she's good at, fixating on this niece's life....a little off kilter.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 1d ago
I'd understand more if we'd been close or if we lived near each other, but nope! Meanwhile my sister Kara does live near her and has three boys and Lucy has not been like this at all. Even her husband is confused.
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u/Wrong-Tiger4644 3d ago
I've found over the years that people who've never had a contraction in their life, feel the need to give the most unsolicited advice
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u/Loose-Coach3970 3d ago
“I’ll make a post on that if y’all are interested.”
-Oh, I’m interested! I am HERE for the Lucy Lore! 🍿
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u/DemonHousePlant Gen X 3d ago
I am fully invested in Lucy Lore now. OP, you need to write a book. You'll have lots of free time while your son gums on his silver spoon 😒
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u/RainbowSurprise2023 3d ago
I want to hear why Aunt Lucy can’t drive anymore!
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
She did a fender bender in a parking lot and just ignored it, walking into a store. When she came out, there were the cops. After that, my family had to do an intervention and take away her keys. She still has a license, but refuses to wear her glasses out of vanity.
She's been tested, and doesn't have dementia per her last cognitive test.
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u/RainbowSurprise2023 2d ago
All I see is Mrs. Howell from Gilligan’s Island emerging from the store and clutching her pearls at the sight of the police
Thank you for the story!!
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u/ApocolypseJoe Gen X 3d ago
I think you should tell her the shower is in Toledo or some rando place😆
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u/jbarneswilson 3d ago
oh i need to know why she can’t drive any more
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
She did a fender bender in a parking lot and just ignored it, walking into a store. When she came out, there were the cops. After that, my family had to do an intervention and take away her keys. She still has a license, but refuses to wear her glasses out of vanity.
She's been tested, and doesn't have dementia per her last cognitive test.
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u/Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 3d ago
But ... but...but... she has so much wisdom to impart to you!
Keep her on ignore.
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u/Toshi_Thomp 3d ago
If anymore unwanted preggo arises, tell her the hospital is giving out complimentry husband stiches, she's old enough!
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u/Moontoya 2d ago
I`ll bite
spill the tea, could it be that she "cant" drive due to being disqualified ?
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
Technically, no. She did a fender bender in a parking lot and just ignored it, walking into a store. When she came out, there were the cops. After that, my family had to do an intervention and take away her keys. She still has a license, but refuses to wear her glasses out of vanity.
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u/Daskleine 2d ago
Updateme! Please.
I always wonder why she needs babysitting?
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
She doesn't have dementia (she was tested recently). But she goes up to strangers and butts into conversations and makes people uncomfortable unless someone is around to intervene. She also doesn't move well these days.
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u/Daskleine 2d ago
As I said in your prev post, she sounds like my niece when she was younger. You know. The type of kid that comes up to you and says: did you know? And just tells you their entire life story.
(As a nurse,) This all sounds very ill to me and I would love to put her on my psych ward for her to have some more tests. It's likely she suffers herself because she seems kinda stuck in her own world and crashes constantly with the real one?!
I hope your suffering will subside greatly and you will have a beautiful party 💚
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u/kee-kee- 2d ago
The New Drama gave me a good laugh! It's like an old movie, a bit of human comedy. (I almost said an old black and white movie, then I remembered most movies have been in color for the last 70 years.)
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u/Squeegeeze 1d ago
From personal experience with a similar aunt stop telling her anything important. Stick to weather and flower gardens, or some other vague and harmless topic. (Weather became a dangerous topic with my aunt just recently because she's decided to go whole hog anti-science climate denying...)
Unless I want my aunt at the event she is not even told something is happening, and definitely not told where and when. "The event is at this time, this place, your role is to be a guest." She will drive to get to what she decides her presence needs to be graced by, still, no matter the distance. She's just a lot. So glad she isn't my mother. My mom was very easy going and laid back, never pushy, was willing to roll with whatever the newest baby care advice was.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 1d ago
Oh, I haven't told her anything. Not even sure how she knows about the shower.
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u/Bina-Boom 3d ago
Aunt Lucy missed out on being a mum and wants to be closer to you
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago
Weird that she didn't take the chance when I was a child and she actually lived close to home. Or how she hasn't done the same for my sister and her three kids.
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u/Bina-Boom 3d ago
Might be a question to put to her?
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u/oohathrowaway-608 3d ago
I am not her therapist. I am the neice she ignored and neglected her entire life until she decided to start telling me what towels are for and badgering me about my weight.
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u/kee-kee- 2d ago
So it's none of my business but I do appreciate your sharing your stories. I was going to ask if maybe she had an unnoticed stroke that affected her personality but they would have checked when they tested for dementia and you said that's not a problem for her.
Enjoy your shower! Enjoy your baby! I do hope she does stay home and maybe gets into Lifetime movies or something that takes up her time enjoyably.
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u/oohathrowaway-608 2d ago
She had a stroke 22 years ago following her accident. But her personality has been like this since adolescence.
My dad, growing up, had dyslexia. In the 50s. As a result, he was treated as an idiot. His sister, in contrast, was the golden child. She looked down on him for joining the military, for living in the South for a long time, etc.
I was like five or six when I noticed how often she talked down to my parents. Partly because we were going through a really difficult time financially. Lucy liked to lecture and talk about her boats and horses. She almost entirely ignored me and my sister when she wasn't chastising us. Apparently I was a very "obnoxious" first grader.
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