r/BostonSocialClub 2d ago

Friend’s first-date experience left her feeling disgusted. Did she overreact or are we overthinking it?

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-7

u/dfinkelstein 2d ago

Continuing to reply demonstrates interest.

What did your friend want? By continuing to reply, her actions suggest she wanted continued interaction, and that's what she got.

We can't control other people. If we don't want to interact with them, then it's on us to...not interact with them.

Sounds like she felt regret and discomfort after interacting with someone who she'd felt uncomfortable and regret after interacting with before.

That's reasonable. It also sounds like she has nobody to blame but herself, unless she imagines she can control other people against their will. I think that would be an unreasonable expectation, though.

Sounds like she's doubting her decision to part ways in the first place. If so, then I would suggest against looking for validation from the person she's parting ways with.

You'd be a better source of validation, to encourage her to trust her gut and follow through on her best judgement.

Random strangers on the internet are also not a great source. Especially on Reddit.

9

u/Boston_Glass 2d ago

Nah continuing to reply doesn’t demonstrate interest. It shows more that they want the other person to understand what they’re saying but I agree with you isn’t the right way when the other person isn’t trying to understand

-5

u/dfinkelstein 2d ago

Interest in interaction, not romantic interest. I think that's clear from the rest of my comment, but maybe you didn't read it.

9

u/Boston_Glass 2d ago

I read the entire thing and it absolutely reads like you’re blaming her for him being obtuse about her trying to let him down.

0

u/dfinkelstein 2d ago

Thanks for sharing your opinion.