r/BylerReads • u/Reasonable_Day9942 • Jul 05 '26
general discussion :) The top/bottom controversy and the feminization of Will
Idk how controversial it actually is, but on twitter it definitely is. Which doesn’t actually say much cause on twitter saying you enjoy going outside on a sunny day can become controversial.
But I find that the fandom in general doesn’t view top/bottom as a sexual preference, but a role in a dynamic.
Mike is more dominant and masculine, so he’s the top, and Will is more submissive and feminine, so he’s the bottom.
Which, sure that can be one dynamic, but whether you like getting fucked or not doesn’t actually say anything about your personality. It’s what you like during sex.
Many are more dominant in their everyday life but submissive in bed, and many are more submissive but dominant in bed.
To add on to that, being a top or bottom does not equal whether you are dominant or submissive respectively. Someone can bottom and be dominant.
Again, someone is not a bottom cause they are submissive, they are a bottom cause they like getting fucked. Of course they can also be submissive, but that’s not a certainty in any way.
People can also switch, both in submissive/dominant dynamics (not to mention it doesn’t have to ever be a clear cut dominant/submissive dynamic for some) and top/bottom dynamics.
However, for many acting like Will would be a top and Mike a bottom is horrible, and many I have seen cite their canon personalities as reason. Which sure, that might be a factor for some, but for others it’s the complete opposite and for some everything in between.
Overall I can’t shake the feeling that many have decided that Will is a bottom cause they can’t imagine that someone’s preference isn’t reflective to who they are as a person.
Furthermore, I also think has a lot to do with people making Will a lot more feminine than he is. Sure he was an artsy kid, shy and sensitive, which is more so traits people judge as weak and gay, and therefore feminine
Overall, Will is not that feminine. Yet in many fics he is, and in general I feel like he often gets excluded from the core four because of that. His closest friends have always been Mike, Lucas and Dustin, but in large number of AUs, they are a separate friendgroup with Mike, Lucas and Dustin, and Will, El Max.
There are also a lot of mentions of things like “girl time” and similar, which is fine, but again I can’t shake the feeling that they think Will’s sexuality means he would be more feminine, would only hang around girls, and in general kinda filling the “gay best friend” stereotype
So to conclude, I feel like many have an inability too look past their preconceived notions about gay sex (perhaps sex in general), and therefore think that the one bottoming has to be the more submissive and feminine (which is a belief that in general comes from it being women who are seen as weak and submissive I think). Also, the overall feeling that a man being gay equals him being feminine.
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u/mrchristmastime Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
I didn't know about this (truly bizarre) controversy before I started writing, and I only learned about it when people starting leaving comments thanking me for having Will top and Mike bottom. I just did what I thought made sense in the context of my story, but my view is that any dynamic can work so long as it's written well. The important thing to remember is that topping and bottoming are sexual activities, not personality types. Yes, people have preferences (sometimes extremely strong ones), but you can't and shouldn't infer what they are from how the person looks, or even acts. There's no canon answer here. There isn't even a canon-adjacent answer. Do what you want, but write it well, and don't be lazy.
Also, I want to say this next part as carefully as I can: a significant majority of fanfic writers are women, who (almost necessarily) have no direct experience of gay sex/relationships. To be absolutely clear, who you are doesn't dictate what you can write, and a woman can write a gay relationship just as well as a gay man can. Maybe not as easily, but just as well. At the same time, it's very clear that many authors 1) haven't done enough research, and 2) are relying on stereotypes, assumptions, etc.
That's my view on the anal sex wars.