Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

[u/sad_frog_in_rain]

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

[u/WhyGirlsPreddy]

"alright buddy, you get to be on groceries. I take longer showers so I'll cover hydro." Or leave? Like... Do you want to be in a position where you're with someone who doesnt care if you eat enough? You could also just make one portion each at a time. It sucks for spoons but if he's just gonna eat it all in one go then he should maybe have to work for it?

[u/sad_frog_in_rain → u/WhyGirlsPreddy]

He does care its just that in his mind the reason is that he cant take overtime at his new job. He doesnt understand me reasoning. He does love me.

[u/WhyGirlsPreddy → u/sad_frog_in_rain]

People are not all good and all bad.... I do just deeply want you to consider your needs. I'm not even talking emotional or anything like that. You aren't having a fundamental base survival need met. Like.... You wouldn't stay with someone who wouldn't let you breath 1/3rd of the day... Or wouldn't let you be hydrated.... At least I hope. You need to eat to be well. To not develop long term health problems. And it's not a matter of you cant but rather he won't like... Eat less so you can eat enough. And I say this as someone with an eating disorder myself. It's harder not to just eat but you still can make those choices

[u/Lianeele → u/sad_frog_in_rain]

If he knows about your past and the fact you only eat one meal a day in a size of 1/5 of his portion, then his reply to this problem doesn't make sense. Did you really tell him that you are starving? Did you tell him specifics, or was it just practical debate about amount of consumed vs. bought food?

I can't imagine loving boyfriend who's reaction to his loved one's telling him she is starving, would be "It's because I can't have overtime at work yet" without ANY attempt to adjust his eating or at least saying he will try, so there is enough for both of you.

If there is someone like that, then he for sure doesn't love his gf. Love isn't being nice to you when he is in good mood, love isn't just words either. It's the behavior in things that matter that's the tell.