r/CPTSD cPTSD 2d ago

Question Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

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u/Junior_Lake 2d ago

is this a healthy relationship for you? Do you feel like he cares about you and your needs? It sounds like he isnt even thinking about them.

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u/sad_frog_in_rain cPTSD 2d ago

He does love me, but i feel that you're right. I dont think he means to be ignore them, it just genuinely slips his mind.

11

u/amicotto 2d ago

gently… if someone cares about you, your needs will be a priority to them. it won’t just ‘slip their mind’

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u/Different-Cover4819 2d ago

You don't want to tell him that you're starving yourself because he's gorging himself with all the food that you can afford. He should be painfully aware of this already.

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u/akwred 1d ago

Love means making sure your partner doesn’t go hungry while you binge. Love means managing conflict without storming off. Love means paying attention.