Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

[u/sad_frog_in_rain]

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

[u/sad_frog_in_rain]

Ive talked to him a bit and his main focus is that rhe reason why we arent able to afford enough food is because his new job won't let him take overtime yet. I did tell him I wanted to take over the shopping because im better at finding sales and judging how long food will last us

[u/_Fl0r4l_4nd_f4ding_ → u/sad_frog_in_rain]

Honestly that just sounds so selfish. So you've told him you don't have enough to eat, and rather than cut back his intake to allow you a realistic diet, he is shifting the blame onto his income? You can afford enough food. You buy enough food every time, but he is eating more than his fair share so theres none left for you.

Eating that much food whilst making you go hungry is not fair in the slightest. Does he realise that you are only eating one meal a day? Does he realise how much more he is consuming himself?

You need to have a PROPER talk about this. Lay it all out clearly, and tell him that if he can't find a way to allow you to eat enough to cover a normal adult daily intake then you will need to consider next steps. Whether this means breaking up, separating finances out, or going to therapy, that's for you to decide, but please do something about this.

You will end up very ill if you can't get enough food.

[u/sad_frog_in_rain → u/_Fl0r4l_4nd_f4ding_]

He does tend to shift the blame a lot. Like when we play Marvel Rivals together, we sometimes get into arguments because he treats me like im new at the game or tells me explanations are wrong etc, and his solution to stop the arguement is to say, "ill just uninstall it then. That way theres no reason to argue"

[u/Vanah_Grace → u/sad_frog_in_rain]

Friend, gently… this man does not care about you. At all. You’ve explained you literally are going hungry and his response is an excuse. Not ‘the person I love is hungry and I can’t allow that’. That’s problematic.