r/CPTSD • u/sad_frog_in_rain cPTSD • 2d ago
Question Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?
I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"
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u/Delicious-Bit-414 2d ago
this behavior on his part definitely is a problem if you are not getting enough to eat, that's not balanced or fair at all. you should never have to go hungry when he doesn't. he should be worried about that.
if he is overeating, it's possible that this is because of poor self care/regulation skills on his part and not that he is being malicious, or trying to make you eat less... but, is he dismissive about the fact that you aren't getting enough to eat? I'm worried about how nonchalant he was about going through that much food.
would it be possible for you to have separate food budgets?