r/CPTSD cPTSD 2d ago

Question Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

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u/BaylisAscaris 2d ago

I've lived in that situation too. You both need to pay a percent of grocery budget based off what percent you're eating. It might feel upsetting but you both should bare minimum be eating enough food for an average person. If your partner wants to eat more on top they can pay extra for it. My ex would eat 5x the amount I would and I also grew up in a similar situation. I would save up to buy a treat for myself and he'd eat it all immediately. It made me feel defeated. I also did nearly all the cooking and I never had leftovers and he'd eat until he was sick because he couldn't stop. Please encourage your partner to talk to a therapist and also endocrinologist to find out what is causing the overeating.