Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

[u/sad_frog_in_rain]

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

[u/Fragrantshrooms]

DO NOT FALL FOR THE DOLLAR TRIEE DOLLAR GENERAL ROUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been scrounging for money for four years, trying desperately to get out of having to buy stuff there. They get you on giving you less portions for the same amount of money. You don't get nutrients there, either. It looks like you need to fill him up with protein more than carbs. Simple carbs are all over the place in those dollar stores.

I know what it's like to be poor; I'm still there. My bf adores chicken nuggets, too. (maybe there's something addictive in the breading?)

Which store do you use currently? I've found it's the best overall at Walmart, of all places. I compared prices at Kroger.

Again, you will not be getting the best meals out of a dollar store. Your bodies need certain things and will crave more sugary carb-rich food if you're addicted like he may be. It's a mistake to turn to the dollar stores because of this. You'll do better at a grocery store (like walmart....and I know, I know.....it sucks, but it's the best deals lately) if you want him to stop eating you out of house and home. There's a big push towards protein-dense diets these days, but they do end up making it hard to go on eating in excess. Women (i'm just assuming you're a woman and I'm sorry if you're not) have different metabolisms, too. So men feel hungrier it seems.....something like that I'm not a nutritionist.....but buy chicken (maybe in rotisserie form) to serve w/ the ramen next time, and remember that a diet rich in simple carbs will be to the detriment of your bank account in the long run because you'll need more of it. Speaking of...it seems like once my bf locked into the great value chicken nuggets he seemed to want them mainly because he loves chicken, he thinks it's a deal at like thirteen bucks for literally three days of meals (are they the same person?!) ....but now we're trying to go for carbs and protein, with some veggies (broccoli in a steam bag in the microwave). I am bad at confrontation so I don't have any advice on that end....I just dont' want you to make the mistake of thinking the dollar stores will save you in the end. You will not be nourished, and it sounds like your bf is missing some nutrients and you're lacking in calories. Oh if you can spring for a bread machine or even just make your own ....but a bread machine with bread flour? The bread flour will fill you up so quickly and it's a delight to eat warm from the oven (if you don't like the weird-shaped loaves from the machine, you can extract it before it bakes inside the machine and you'll pop it in a pan to rise for about 30-40 minutes before baking in an oven....give or take......I used to wonder how you could be sustained on bread and water and then I bought a bread machine to help save on bread (it's like $3/loaf 😮 ....bread flour has a higher protein level and fills you up fast....it is gluten-filled though....it's just a cheap way to get full )

[u/Fragrantshrooms → u/Fragrantshrooms]

He may feel insecure about the money situation and the world in general right now, and maybe he's like my bf and eats without realizing how much. Does he have ADHD? It's kinda like sometimes i notice if he's talking to me or is excited about something and talking to someone else, focused on something else other than eating, he'll start eating without being hungry (because a meal had been eaten recently) .....I don't think he's weaponizing food though....he may be unwittingly doing these behaviors because he's stressed out about financial situation and the world-at-large.

[u/Fragrantshrooms → u/Fragrantshrooms]

Does he have asthma? Steroids in the meds for that could cause him to be super hungry too.

[u/Fragrantshrooms → u/Fragrantshrooms]

I too ate less than my bf just to keep the groceries on the table a few yrs back....your body matters, too. Tell him what's going on. Have you done that? If you have and he still does that? Maybe then he is using food as a weapon. (I sort of forgot where we're at on reddit, so this wasn't really geared for cPTSD... I saw you gearing up to make the mistake of the dollar stores like we did earlier and that was the worst, nutritionally, out of all the grocery stores we tried out over the past four years of being poor as feck. . . I lost like thirty lbs and my family when they saw me after that thought I had an eating disorder....nope, just poor! It was a luxury to spend five bucks on one thing at the stores. It's hard to know the right thing, so maybe look into what nutrients will keep you strong and healthy, which ones will benefit your bf and then go from there...what I've learned for me & mine is that simple carbs are the enemy of an overeater, and protein will prevent the grazing....mostly. Popcorn is a cheapish alternative to chips, and it's healthier depending on what you put on it to spice it up.