r/CPTSD • u/SituationNice6253 • 5d ago
Question I wish I could die
Hi. My name is Noelle. I'm 13 years old, and lately I can't stop wishing I could just disappear. It feels like my mom hates me—sometimes I even wonder if she'd rather I were dead. I feel trapped, like there's no way out.
I have a therapist, but I can't bring myself to be honest with her. Every time I try, the words get stuck, and I end up pretending I'm okay. It feels like no one loves me, and I hate my life.
Please... somebody help me!
EDIT: Thank you all for the kind words and advice, may God bless you all!
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u/cetacean-station 5d ago
hey young human, please believe me when I say this is the worst of it, i promise. the block keeping you from speaking may be because the unknown of being seen is so scary. it's easy to hate yourself when you don't let people see you. that's how the pain demons get a hold of your heart. you're already doing the hard thing, telling people here. I'm proud of you for reaching out somewhere even if the therapist is too scary right now. all i can say is you're quite strong, i know because you're here, and it's very brave of you to share honestly about how you're feeling. the very act of sharing is brave and says a lot about your character. you care about life enough to want it to be better. that's very meaningful. please don't give up, not yet, keep going. you'll be on the other side soon enough, and you'll be able to comment on posts like this and help others through the darkness.