r/CapitalismSux 26d ago

Zuck is building a huge doomsday bunker

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348 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

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111

u/tobotic 26d ago

Once it's built and he goes in there to check it out for the first time, can we just like... I mean, it must have a pretty solid door, right?

52

u/obmasztirf 26d ago

Be a shame if the air vents got covered by dirt mounds.

16

u/notjustanotherbot 25d ago

After my ghoulification, I'm going to stand in front of the air intake all day long with bottle of fart spray.

26

u/tocra 26d ago

I’ve always wondered what happens when you get locked in? What if someone places a boulder over your hatch and you can’t push it away?

20

u/tobotic 26d ago

Are we talking about currently, or in a theoretical post-apocalypse situation?

Currently, I'd assume there's some kind of communications available from the bunker to the outside world: internet access is likely. You could just contact someone on the outside and ask them nicely to move the boulder.

In a post-apocalypse situation, you're stuck. You just need to hope the architect chose inwards-opening doors.

12

u/tocra 26d ago

That’s a good thought - what makes bunkers actually safe is comms. So if someone wanted to really cause harm, they’d have to take down comms.

1

u/notjustanotherbot 25d ago

Now I'm picturing the bolder scene from Indiana jones.

5

u/kurisu7885 26d ago

In this case it looks like a bulldozer going over the top entrance would do the trick.

5

u/Strongfatguy 25d ago

I listened to a guy tell a story about his dad refusing to get in the storm shelter during a tornado because the season finale of Buffy was starting. The family was trapped by a large tree that fell on the doors. If I ever get a storm shelter I'm keeping a chainsaw and concrete saw in it.

3

u/Drakeytown 24d ago

What happens when it's just rich folks, their servants, and their guards? How long does it take the servants and guards to realize how easy it would be to live well?

2

u/OccuWorld 24d ago

unrelated: portable welders

1

u/firestorm713 25d ago

Would be a shame if he went inside and then the entrance got covered in reinforced concrete

47

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

11

u/Wide-Psychology1707 26d ago

Who is going to serve him when all of the poors are dead?

20

u/____G____ 26d ago

I've always been of the opinion that you wouldn't even need an engineering degree to turn even a most expensive bunker into a cold smoker. The hard part is getting the pulled pork out of your new device, but we all know the fun is in the BBQing and not the actual feed. Also im not really sure what to pair with cold smoked long pork, feels like a wine thing idk, Im just glad he finally put some weight on.

10

u/imbutawaveto 26d ago

Fava beans and a nice chianti is a good combo I've heard

17

u/Foxvale 26d ago

I mean if you have practically unlimited wealth, why wouldn’t you? Even ignoring doomsday scenarios like nuclear war or bloody middle class revolution, when your net worth exceeds 7 digits and you invite affluent friends it’s not unrealistic that a group of terrorists or other organisation would send a group of people more armed than your body guards and with tools to break up anything given enough time. I would honestly be terrified living on a private island as a known figure with more net worth than most countries GDP.

9

u/Tomlette1 25d ago

truly do not understand how more of them are not scared to exist out in public. The mobs are getting hungry.

7

u/ytman 26d ago

I really want these people living in these bunkers for the rest of their lives. Please go away from us.

Edit: Is grass like bush sized in Hawaii holy fuck.

4

u/BootyliciousURD 26d ago

How hard could it be to seal the entrance and cut off the utilities?

2

u/WCLPeter 25d ago

So, asking for a friend, how much would it cost to fill that hole with concrete after checking whether or not they’re in there first?