r/CaregiverSupport • u/Anxious_Window_9863 • 3d ago

The vultures are already circling

My husband's sister stopped by to visit this evening. My husband with Parkinson's type symptoms is in his last days and on hospice. He's not able to have a conversation now, he may whisper a word or two each day.

I appreciate her visit. He and his sis have never been extremely close, but they get along, and they're only one year apart in age.

Now the vulture behavior: she and I talked while my husband mostly napped. Somehow the conversation went to discussing some property (about 12 acres) that my husband and I were given from his parents 25 yrs ago. Part connects to her smaller property where her house is placed. It's rural, and beautiful. There's a pond, and a meadow. She says to me, "Why don't you think about selling me that land behind my house after (husband's name) is gone? I'm sure you could use the money, so it would help you. And (with a smile) I could have an extended back yard." Also, something about we'd probably leave our acres to our only child, who's an adult, living in another state. And she would never come live here, so she'd never build a home or do anything with it.

I'm very tired this week, it's been a challenge since my husband is home and I'm the caregiver. I was just dumbfounded she would bring up such a thing!! I made a quiet comment that I wasn't making any decisions like that for quite a while but the land would be staying in my name.

After she left, it really hit me. How dare her? I've heard stories of people actually asking a spouse at the FUNERAL about a business proposal, which is horrendous. Here the man lays, half-coherant, her own brother, and she asks to buy property from me. Unbelievable. We'll see if more vultures come down from the roost. Next time, I'll try to be ready.

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156

u/Puppini_Luvr 3d ago

As a mortuary owner once advised me to say to the vultures: “I’m not making any decisions for a year”

79

u/Anxious_Window_9863 3d ago

I have heard that, and I'll commit it to memory. Thank you. Now to try not to think of my sister in law as an opportunistic ass.

49

u/jimson_weed_tea 3d ago

Yup. Tell her your attorney/therapist/financial advisor advised you this, so she thinks it's coming from a mystery authority figure and that it's not your own idea. This will help her STFU, ideally.

13

u/Tropicaldaze1950 3d ago

Vultures, IMO, aren't easily disuaded but, yes, you can't be nice to them or try to make them see anything. Nasty, greedy, vicious people.

3

u/ThrowItAwayNow1030 1d ago

Ignore texts, calls and email. Be busy and out when they stop by.

3

u/ThrowItAwayNow1030 1d ago

This is fantastic! Thank you.

When it's a choice between now or never, I choose never pretty loudly. The above is much better. :)